Ask a mum who has 4 children by 3 different fathers

[pinkmummy]

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This week's member is xxxjacquixxx.

Jacqui has 4 children by 3 different fathers. Jacqui would like to answer any questions you may have about her experience




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​

 

[AP]

hello jacqui, do the fathers keep in contact, and are they amicable with each other?

 

[pinkmummy]

Do you ever get criticised for it and if so what is your response xx

 

[NIfirsttimer]

does it drive you mad when people refer to your kids as 'half brothers / sisters'!!?? i have brother who has a different biological mum to me, and it drives me insane how when i say '..my brother..' people reply with '..your half brother?' ugh!!

 

[special_kala]

does it drive you mad when people refer to your kids as 'half brothers / sisters'!!?? i have brother who has a different biological mum to me, and it drives me insane how when i say '..my brother..' people reply with '..your half brother?' ugh!!

people always do that with my brothers and sisters, i even got "so how many proper siblings do you have?" i said all of them stupid

do all the fathers have contact and if not do the children who dont get jealous of the ones that do?

 

[xxxjacxxx]

hello jacqui, do the fathers keep in contact, and are they amicable with each other?

Hi girls!
Ok, All of my kids see their fathers yes. My 2 youngest have the same dad, who is my OH now so obviously they see him every day. My 2 eldest have mainly weekend contact with theirs. My eldest Ryan is nearly 14 now so will take himself off down to his dads whenever he feels like (he gets the bus)
As for amicable, there was a situation at one point where both me and my 2nd childs father moved onto an estate along with my 1st childs father...got a bit awkward at times yes, but the 2 dads then made friends and it was even weirder for me as they would get together to fix cars ect...
Ant, my current OH and my 2 youngests dad, cant stand one of the dads and has even put him on his arse because of they way he spoke to me..can be a bit weird when on the odd a=ocassion we are all together, I kinda feel embarrassed. Thankfully, its not often!

Do you ever get criticised for it and if so what is your response xx

I used to be really self concious of it you know, I would feel embarrased about it. Especially when filling in forms and having to put everyones full names. Air ports are funny as they look at the passports and look at us, I think they think Im abductiong someone elses kids sometimes!
My response is, people can critise all they want, I didnt ask for it to be this way it just happened. Its not as if any of them were a result of a one night stand or quick fling, the first two came from serious relationships that both lasted 3+ years. My kids are well loved, have contact with their parents and I'm happy that they are happy, nobody else and their opinions matter x

does it drive you mad when people refer to your kids as 'half brothers / sisters'!!?? i have brother who has a different biological mum to me, and it drives me insane how when i say '..my brother..' people reply with '..your half brother?' ugh!!

Its funny as nobody does! My 2 eldest brought it up once. I think they had been discussing it upstairs and they came down to tackle me about it. As far as I am concerned and they are concerned they are all brothers and sisters, all brought up in the same household, the same way. Theres no 'halfs' in this house

 

[xxxjacxxx]

does it drive you mad when people refer to your kids as 'half brothers / sisters'!!?? i have brother who has a different biological mum to me, and it drives me insane how when i say '..my brother..' people reply with '..your half brother?' ugh!!

people always do that with my brothers and sisters, i even got "so how many proper siblings do you have?" i said all of them stupid

do all the fathers have contact and if not do the children who dont get jealous of the ones that do?

Ive answered the first part of your question above.
My eldest ryan, has a pretty laid back father and only lives 15 mins down the road so he can come collect Ryan at a minutes notice, also there are no set rules with him as to when he can go down/stay over etc wheras Courteneys Dad is an asshole..sorry, he is...He used her against me for ages after we split, I think to get me back for splitting with him. He isnt so laid back and rarely has her out of the arrangements set...so she gets jelous that Ryan can go to his dads but yet when she phones hers, she gets a 'sorry I'm working' or ;I'm going out with di' etc. This can be heartbreaking for me.

 

[NIfirsttimer]

im so glad to hear that they dont get the 'half' thing. i feel really strongly about it! we were brought up in the 'no halfs in this house' way too, so it doesnt even enter my mind that J isnt my full biological brother.. we are siblings like the rest of us are, so it never fails to shock me when people bring it up like its the first thing they think when i say 'my brother'!

 

[xxxjacxxx]

I totally agree.

I never think of my kids as half siblings and to be honest, I'm mortified if anybody suggests it.

 

[joeyjo]

Do any of your kids have other siblings that live elsewhere - with their dador with their mums? How do they get on?

 

[xxxjacxxx]

Yes Ryan has a little brother (I think he's 4 or 5) who lives with his dad and his g/f. They get on really well. I make a point of buying him presents on his birthdays/xmas from Ryan too.

 

[special_kala]

Yes Ryan has a little brother (I think he's 4 or 5) who lives with his dad and his g/f. They get on really well. I make a point of buying him presents on his birthdays/xmas from Ryan too.

aww thats really sweet of you

 

[nikkip75]

do your 2 eldest get on with your OH?

my 14 year old and my OH get on eachother nerves even tho she knows hes done more for her than her own dad has ever done!

also i understand the name thing my eldest, 2 little ones (they have OHs surname) and me all have different names!

 

[Jkelmum]

Nothing really to do with havin 4 kids to 3 dads as i am in the same situation ...but how is your oldest with Leo ? x

 

[xxxjacxxx]

do your 2 eldest get on with your OH?

my 14 year old and my OH get on eachother nerves even tho she knows hes done more for her than her own dad has ever done!

also i understand the name thing my eldest, 2 little ones and me all have different names!

Its hit and miss with the OH and those two I'm afraid Its either really good or really bad. My dd and OH also get on each others nerves, truth be known she doesnt like him at all. She drives him mad, He does her head in but saying that, she can be all sweetness and light wehn she wants something. Generally Ryan and OH get on well, play on the xbox together, fix his bike etc...overall ok. I dont expect it to be a bed of roses all the time.

Nothing really to do with havin 4 kids to 3 dads as i am in the same situation ...but how is your oldest with Leo ? x

He dotes on him. Loves the little guy to peices. He is so loving with him its great. Saying that, Courteney adores him too...they both do x

 

[Jkelmum]

Thats great Lily screams whenever Jake my 14 holds her for me i think its because she can sense he isnt happy holding her ...hes like eww its a baby x

 

[nikkip75]

do your 2 eldest get on with your OH?

my 14 year old and my OH get on eachother nerves even tho she knows hes done more for her than her own dad has ever done!

also i understand the name thing my eldest, 2 little ones and me all have different names!

Its hit and miss with the OH and those two I'm afraid Its either really good or really bad. My dd and OH also get on each others nerves, truth be known she doesnt like him at all. She drives him mad, He does her head in but saying that, she can be all sweetness and light wehn she wants something. Generally Ryan and OH get on well, play on the xbox together, fix his bike etc...overall ok. I dont expect it to be a bed of roses all the time.

Nothing really to do with havin 4 kids to 3 dads as i am in the same situation ...but how is your oldest with Leo ? x

He dotes on him. Loves the little guy to peices. He is so loving with him its great. Saying that, Courteney adores him too...they both do x

sounds exactly like us! i makes me feel a bit better to know they arent the only ones

 

[louise1302]

hi lol it must be a common thing as i have 4 kids to 3 fathers lol my eldest 2 have the same dad and then kais is someone else and archie is my dh's does ryan ever clash with your oh and use the youre not my dad thing? im getting it a lot from brandon hes almost 12
also do you find people look down on you? im sick of explaining that all my kids are from long term relationships i didnt just sleep with guys amnd get pregnant ,each time i thought it was forever
we dont do the half brother thing, they all came from my womb so they are siblings simples!! brandon and bradley have a 3 yr old brother from their father too and i tell them he is their brother not half

interesting thread

 

[xxxjacxxx]

hi lol it must be a common thing as i have 4 kids to 3 fathers lol my eldest 2 have the same dad and then kais is someone else and archie is my dh's does ryan ever clash with your oh and use the youre not my dad thing? im getting it a lot from brandon hes almost 12
also do you find people look down on you? im sick of explaining that all my kids are from long term relationships i didnt just sleep with guys amnd get pregnant ,each time i thought it was forever
we dont do the half brother thing, they all came from my womb so they are siblings simples!! brandon and bradley have a 3 yr old brother from their father too and i tell them he is their brother not half

interesting thread

hi Lou :wave:

Oh yes Ryan and Ant do clash! Ryan has hit the stage where he thinks he's gods gift and he knows it all, cockiness, attitude the lot and sometimes it gets on Ants nerves! Ants a mans man whereas I'd say Ryan was quite feminine as in he likes to colour his fringe blonde, has to shampoo & condition his hair and dry and straighten it, wears skinny jeans and pink underwear and skinny scarves lol, all of which Ant thinks is not normal, Ryan gets stick for this but he is quite strong willed and will give it Ant back. Its then that it can turn into WW2

I always get the feeling that people look down on me yes, I dont think anybody would actually dare comment as I'm quite fiery and I wouldnt take kindly to it I dont bother to explain they all came from loving relationships, I dont think I have to justify to anybody where my kids come from.
I actually think this situation is quite common nowadays. I think if anybody is going to turn their noses up at opur situations then Its probably from the older genration, you know when it was taboo to have kids out of wedlock, nevermind by 3 different men, times change get over it.

 

[louise1302]

good attutide to have Jac *quietly takes a leaf* i think it is more the older generation my dh still hasntr told ml that the 3 oldest dont all have the same dad, he thinks the shock will kill her like i m some kind of dirty hoe