At my witts end please help.

[welshsarah]

My baby boy is 4 days old today. I really want to breast feed. did so in hospital and he latched on really well just needed help off the midwives to help position him. I have odd shaped boobs, one bigger than the other. Well anyway BF was going Only I had to ring the midwives loads a lot to help with positioning. Hes a big baby 8lb11 and was feeding CONSTANTLY. Well anyway (I had him at 10.40pm and by 6pm the next day one of the midwives had a go at me for not leaving the curtain open, even through she knew every 10 mins baby would be hungry. She got really horrible to me at one point when I called and said I needed to start getting him to latch on my own now. Later on she saw the curtain was closed me struggling and made a comment saying that she thinks hes starving and needs a top up of AF. I started crying. And gave in to formula. I came home that evening after AF as they needed the bed. (10pm) and then gave him AF until I saw my midwife the next day about 3pm ish. She told me to offer him boob then top up and to try and build up my milk supply. I tried and hes not feeding like he did when was born. I can only feed him laying down in bed and its not good when hes constant and I have 2 others I dont want to push out. They are being loud and attention seeky and naughty (deans mum had the kids for 2 days, and she basically lets them do anything and everything, even fed them biscuits for breakfast!, but we didnt have anyone else). My son is also potty training. Also partner is getting so exhausted with everything as well.
Well anyway. Baby feeds for about 5 mins, gets really stressed (sometimes wont even latch on and we end up giving him a bottle). Its getting harder and harder for him to booby feed. Im at my wits end please help!

 

[dollyemi]

Aw, big hug and congratulations on your new arrival

Although I didn't have other children to worry about I almost gave up at 5 days and in a last ditch attempt went to the bf support group at my local children's centre (I looked on the netmums website and it gave me all the centres nearby, I picked the one that had the soonest bf support group). I really struggled with positioning too due to my huge boobs and was so relieved when I could bf using the rugby hold and bought a "my breast friend" bf pillow, no more lying down.
I had also called the nct bf helpline and got lots of lovely ideas and a friendly voice, you might be able to get hold of someone today as they man the phones until 10pm.
The pillow is great for me, but is dear at £45 from mothercare. Don't beat yourself up about using formula either, I did it when desperate and easily switched back to ebf once I'd seen the lactation consultant. You can see them one to one if you prefer not to be there with others in the bf support group.
I wish I could wave a magic wand to make your other kids behave but see if your oh can take them to the park or swimming tomorrow to give you a break. Day 4 is often when you'll feel baby blues so you'll be even more sensitive to their behaviour at the moment.
Good luck

 

[welshsarah]

Aw, big hug and congratulations on your new arrival

Although I didn't have other children to worry about I almost gave up at 5 days and in a last ditch attempt went to the bf support group at my local children's centre (I looked on the netmums website and it gave me all the centres nearby, I picked the one that had the soonest bf support group). I really struggled with positioning too due to my huge boobs and was so relieved when I could bf using the rugby hold and bought a "my breast friend" bf pillow, no more lying down.
I had also called the nct bf helpline and got lots of lovely ideas and a friendly voice, you might be able to get hold of someone today as they man the phones until 10pm.
The pillow is great for me, but is dear at £45 from mothercare. Don't beat yourself up about using formula either, I did it when desperate and easily switched back to ebf once I'd seen the lactation consultant. You can see them one to one if you prefer not to be there with others in the bf support group.
I wish I could wave a magic wand to make your other kids behave but see if your oh can take them to the park or swimming tomorrow to give you a break. Day 4 is often when you'll feel baby blues so you'll be even more sensitive to their behaviour at the moment.
Good luck

how do I get too see a lactation consultant, really dont want to give up. My problem is I can only feed laying down I try and feed him and he knocked the boob out after 5 mins, scream, and I try and feed him more, and hes sobbing and I get stressed and call OH to get some formula for him (which is wrong) but wish he would be calm and come on boob. does that make sense? x
I feel like Im pushing the kids away if I let OH take them out, I feel like my LB is being a bit distant with me at the moment and its really upsetting me x

 

[BunnyN]

Poor you, it sounds like you had really rubbish support in the hospital. It makes me mad how they all say "breast is best" and then don't help mums make it work. It leaves so many poor ladies struggling and feeling guilty in what seems like a no win situation: top ups are bad but if you don't give them you are starving your poor baby. Anyway I rant . I am confident you can get back to EBFing with a little support if that is what you want to do. It might seem like hard work for the next couple of weeks but I think BFing is easier in the long run. I really feel for you with two other kids. Breastfeeding a newborn is a bit all consuming in the early stage but remember it won't always be like that. It might be a bit hard on your other two and your LO but if you can ride it out things will start feeling easier and in the future you can spend all the time you would have been prepairng bottles spending time with them. Hugs

 

[welshsarah]

Poor you, it sounds like you had really rubbish support in the hospital. It makes me mad how they all say "breast is best" and then don't help mums make it work. It leaves so many poor ladies struggling and feeling guilty in what seems like a no win situation: top ups are bad but if you don't give them you are starving your poor baby. Anyway I rant . I am confident you can get back to EBFing with a little support if that is what you want to do. It might seem like hard work for the next couple of weeks but I think BFing is easier in the long run. I really feel for you with two other kids. Breastfeeding a newborn is a bit all consuming in the early stage but remember it won't always be like that. It might be a bit hard on your other two and your LO but if you can ride it out things will start feeling easier and in the future you can spend all the time you would have been prepairng bottles spending time with them. Hugs

Thanks hun, Im going to give it a good go. OH is off for awhile and kids go back to school in a week, Im sure they will calm down its just because they have been shifted to nannies house and left to run wild.

Anyway I found a way sat up in bed to feed him, with lots of pillows tonight. Its a way forward at least. He fed for about 10 mins (before starting to get really stressed) then topped him up with formula which he took 3oz. I know I shouldnt be giving him formula. But what can I do to up breast and lower formula?X

 

[rose.]

Your situation sounds really similar to mine was except the midwives were a lot more helpful to me and I didn't feel pushed in to giving formula!

Our first night home was terrible. In hospital the midwives helped me to latch (it took me hours on my own). I also found lying down easiest. We got home at 3ish and at about 5 i tried to get alfie to latch. after an hour or so he finally did and fed well. he had another feed which took as long that evening. then it got to bedtime and Alfie wouldn't latch. I was trying to get him to latch from 10pm. At 2am my husband had to dash to tesco for some emergency formula as I was so exhausted and so worried he would starve without it! First thing in the morning the midwife came round and showed me the football hold. I managed to get Alfie on much easier, with him propped up on two cushions. We haven't looked back since! It is still our favourite. We have had a really hard time and are still not 100% with traditional cradle hold.

So if you haven't tried football hold yet Then give it a go! And I also found lactation consultants invaluable - they helped me loads. You can find them through your midwife/health visitor or childrens centre. In Alfie's red book there was a leaflet about it.

Big and good for you for wanting to stick with it! I promise it will get easier, I almost gave up so many times but we are at 5 months with no plans to stop soon

 

[welshsarah]

What can I do to up breast and lower formula?X

 

[ChesMik4eva]

Sorry things have been so difficult for you. Those midwives sound horrid.

As hard as this sounds, the only way to up your supply and lower formula is to STOP giving him formula. Your supply is adjusting to make the right amount for him and everytime you give him any formula you're telling your body not to make that extra milk, therefore you won't make enough. It's a vicious cycle.

He is probably fussing on the breast because of the speed of the flow, it is much less work for him to drink from a bottle so he might be getting frustrated the milk isn't coming as quickly from your breast. Right now you need to do a lot of skin to skin, drink plenty of water and feed feed feed. I know it's hard with other little children to care for but this is only for a very short period and won't be like this for long I promise. If you are really serious about breastfeeding this is the way to do it.

When he starts fussing at your breast, try switching sides. Also, if you keep him on you skin to skin you will notice his feeding cues much earlier and be able to feed him before he's screaming for milk. Feeding any formula is a very slippery slope and can quickly lead to full time bottle feeding this early on.

I truly sympathise, it sounds like you've had rubbish support which is simply not good enough on the hospital's behalf. If you can look up a local lactation consultant I highly recommend it, they should be able to come to you.

Lastly, big hugs

 

[schmetterling]

I'm sorry you are having a rough time, but you are doing a great job! Have you tried pumping after each feeding and then giving that milk to your lo? It will really help establish your supply, especially in these early days. See what you can pump after each feed and then give your lo that after the feeding and then formula if needed. Then as your pumping output increases or your lo stays longer at the breast you can gradually decrease the amount of formula. If you don't want to pump, I would at least hand express some milk out after each feed. That will help increase your supply as well. I would definitely talk to a lactation consultant. Call your local hospital to get the names of lactation consultants you can work with. They will evaluate the latch and see if there is anything wrong. When the baby latches, is it comfortable for you or are you in any pain? Does your lo make a clicking sound at the breast? Keep your head up, you are doing a wonderful job!

 

[dollyemi]

Just thought of something else, try the kellymom website, really really good. I found out I had forceful let down and baby was struggling to keep up with the milk gush! I ended up sitting her up a little bit or expressing a bit of milk into a breast pad or muslin before trying to latch her on.
Only just saw your reply asking about a lactation consultant, but as someone else said, call your midwife and ask where the nearest one is and when you can see them or the children's centres own websites should tell you.
I had 2 very different experiences with midwives when I asked for bf support, one couldn't be bothered and the other was fantastic and told me when she would be running her own bf support group nearby so don't give up.

 

[VGibs]

Ok, first of all you need a LOT of skin on skin contact! Like every single spare second you can get. Next, look up laid back breastfeeding techniques. This is a good link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvZmAEqFBZA

Second of all, STOP the formula top ups. Baby needs to learn that he has to work to get milk out. Either stop all bottles or try a lactation aid system. The more frustrated you become the more your baby will feel it and will get agitated. I am not a no formula nut but in order to establish breastfeeding you really need to stop the formula. The other thing you can do is to start hand expressing a bit before baby latches so the let down is easier and baby won't have to work quite so hard. Has your milk come in yet? When your milk comes in you probably won't have to work so hard to have him satisfied, but if you keep feeding formula you won't have as much milk.

 

[BunnyN]

Here is a good link for advice about weaning off suppliments:
https://kellymom.com/bf/got-milk/basics/decrease-formula/

If you are not supplimenting very much you may be able to stop right away but if you are giving several oz a day look at doing it gradually.