Awkward.

[Cjackord]

I'm not really sure why I'm even posting this... Maybe just to get it off my head?

Last night a friend of mine who has scheduled a repeat cesarean and knows I'm shooting for a vbac (although I've yet to mention that it'll be at home!), told me that she's just having a csection because she loves her family and wants to be around for them. Awkward. So I kindly told her good luck and I'll be praying for a smooth surgery and easy recovery. She then told me that vbacs just carry too much risk; it's safer to have a csection... She prayed and that's how she knows. Awkward again. I didn't correct her on stats. I just let it go...

Man o man... At least I'm now certain who I won't be reaching out to in support! I don't think I expected so much overt opposition to having a vbac or homebirth. It does make me incredibly thankful that my husband is so supportive.

Thanks for listening!

 

[Angel2Fire]

That's basically what I've been told by the hospital, along with all the "advantages" of having another c-section over trying for a VBAC!

All you can do is support your friends decision. It is sad that she doesnt know the statistics, but she probably wouldn't thank you for telling her if she's made her mind up, especially if she found the answer whilst praying.

Sorry for going off topic, did you have much opposition in getting your consultant to agree to you having a VBAC at home?

Good luck for both you and your friend, I hope you both get the births you want

 

[Pinkorblue11]

Good luck to your friend.

I know the feeling, as far as knowing who not to reach out to for support. A couple of friends of mine were just talking about vbac vs cs. Once it got to "all this hippie bs of natural birth" and "my baby's health is just too important" I quickly eased out of the chat we were having. Awkward is definitely the right word. With one of them being an L&D nurse, imagine announcing my plan to have a waterbirth at home with a midwife?

Glad you have a supportive DH and good luck to you!

 

[Elucida]

It's strange, since having my daughter I mix in totally "natural" circles and it still surprises me the things that people say/believe and the positions they hold in society too. An L&D nurse, for example... blimey!

I'm quite lucky in that my mum is a senior MW and managed a maternity unit and is very pro natural birth and is excited for my homebirth. All you really need is one supportive person and you're set. I feel kind of sad for people who don't know how different things could be.

 

[oread]

I donno that is awkward so much as her just being an asshole. I probably would have respond sarcastically along the lines of "well I want a VBAC cuz I hate my family and want everyone to suffer as much a possible"

 

[Cjackord]

Thanks everyone I really believe that women should be able to birth how ever they feel comfortable. If that's a csection, then by all means, have a ball! Been there, done that, will avoid it like the plague!

@Angel-- I'm in the US so there are no consultants here. I met with my ob and she was blatantly hostile at the notion anyone would birth outside a hospital, much less for a vbac. She exaggerated the risks and played up how wonderful csections are. It wouldn't matter if I did find a vbac supportive ob, as I'd get whoever was on call when i went into labor and then it rotates through shifts... Kind of a terrible system for the woman in labor.

 

[Cjackord]

@oread-- lol! The sacarstic part of me thought this... But I'm sure she's probably nervous for her upcoming surgery and I'm overly-emotional as it is; a recipe for disaster! I did think of pointing out that this was what she was insinuating, though!

 

[chuck]

Ack, always awkward, at the end of the day you have to do what is right by you NOT others.

The only advantage of an ELCS that I can see is the certainty of when you meet your baby - something I'd happily give up to have a normal birth.

I started off with HBAC but we transffered after a couple concerns, best decision i ever made was to HBAC, I'd have never got to 10cm with nothing but a little Gas and Air in hospital.

 

[Mervs Mum]

It's hard but you have to just meet people where they are. It's her journey which is as unique to her as yours is to you.

 

[oread]

That was nice of you to take her situation into account, since I'm sure you are rigt that she was probably nervous about her upcoming section. It just drives me nuts when people feel they need to justify their decisions by insulting the choices of others. People should do whatever works best for them, preferably without being a jerk to people who makes other decisions in the process, heh