babies surname?? what are you doing??

[angelbump]

Me and my partner arent married but have a stable home and relationship. I never knew until we brought it up but having our son take his surname is important to him topass down his family name. I wanted my surname in there too but hes dead against it and thinks it should just be him.
I dont want to give in about my name going in but dont want to hurt my partner and in one way I juat want to say yes to stop the rows but then I think why should I back down?

What are you ladies doing? Did it ever cross your mind to put your last name in? I feel mean saying no to him but think I deserve my name there too xx

 

[slowpoke22]

When we conceived our first, we werent married. We were by the time she was born, but it never entered my mind to have my name in there. I may have carried her and birthed her but he is in there too and was there every step of the way. Proud for both my girls to have his name x

 

[Pixie19]

Me and my OH aren't married. Both our kids have his surname, as will i when we finally get married

 

[cupcaker]

Same situation, 10 year relationship, house etc, but my son has my partners last name and my daughter will too. I never really felt strongly about my family name. If you do, you should get a say in the matter though, and see if you can get both in or some kind of compromise(although I dont know what!?) x

 

[angelbump]

Thank you all so much for replying. I dont feel that its vital for me to have my name in there its just a preference as were not married and probably wont get married at least not for a very long time.
I think Iv made my decision anyway just wanted confirmation from outsiders xx

 

[CharlieKeys]

All the kids have my OHs surname .... As will I when we eventually get married! Seems silly to give them my name, when I won't be keeping it myself

 

[ChristiansMum]

When my DS was born me and my OH weren't married but my son had his surname. To be honest it never even crossed my mind to have my surname in there as well.

When my husband was born his mum and dad weren't married and he had my MILs surname but after they got married my FIL had to adopt him to change his surname so my DH has 2 birth certificates x

 

[Gizzyy]

Me and my OH are engaged so we decided to give our LO his surname as we're planning on getting married eventually anyway.
I feel slightly sad she no longer has my name right now though lol.

 

[BrandiCanucks]

My ex-husband and I were not married when we had our first child and she got his last name. Another alternative is to use your last name as a second middle name. My mother did that with all of her kids to pass down her maiden name, as my grandfather had 3 girls.

 

[staceymxxx]

My baby will have a double barrell surname.. i stood my ground on this one, it was either double barrell or mine only, we aren't married and i can't see it happening anytime soon!

 

[alex_22]

Just daddys surname I wouldn't wish mine on anyone haha!! Hopefully I'm not waiting too long to share their last name! X

 

[teaandchoc]

It really depends how you feel. If you feel you're backing down by not having your child share your name and it means a lot to you then I would talk again about it. If you subsequently get married I think you can apply to amend your child's birth certificate to have your married name. You can't however easily change your child's surname from their father's name once registered. How will you feel having a different surname to your child day to day e.g. doctors/school etc? Maybe including both names as a double barrelled surname would be a good compromise? I can understand your partners wishes but yours are also really important. Hope you reach a decision you're both happy with. It's such an emotional topic x

 

[Amalee]

I'm already married to the father of my baby and took his last name, so the baby will have the same last name as well. If I'd gotten pregnant before we were engaged, I would have done a hyphenate - we had that discussion after we had been together a few years. He wasn't happy with it, but I knew I wouldn't be happy not sharing a name with my child. As long as you guys are weighing your own wishes with his, I'm sure you'll make a decision you can both respect!

 

[BrandiCanucks]

I knew I wouldn't be happy not sharing a name with my child.

^That...is why I never returned to my maiden name

 

[Snow Owl]

Dylan has OHs surname and my surname as a middle name

So say OH is Mr Snow and I'm Miss Owl Dylan is:

Dylan Jack Owl Snow

Popcorn (nickname for bump) is going to be:

Popcorn Marie Owl Snow

But for school etc they are Dylan and Popcorn Snow. I'll be Mrs Snow in 2 years when we get married

And no we're not calling her popcorn, we just won't decide until she's born

 

[angelbump]

It really depends how you feel. If you feel you're backing down by not having your child share your name and it means a lot to you then I would talk again about it. If you subsequently get married I think you can apply to amends birth certificate to have your married name. You can't however easily change your child's surname from their father's name once registered. How will you feel having a different surname to your child day to day e.g. doctors/school etc? Maybe including both names as a double barrelled surname would be a good compromise? I can understand your partners wishes but yours are also really important. Hope you reach a decision you're both happy with. It's such an emotional topic x

It is a very emotional subject. And he makes me feel so mean and says why are you taking this away from me. My arguement is that whist we are not married and its not even remotely close I want to have a part in our childs name for things like docs appt, school stuff and other appts I want to be obviously known as his mother. I suggested double barrelled but he doesnt want anything other than his own name. My partner doesnt do comprimise well. I will suggest using my name as a middle name but I know he wont go for it xx

 

[Eegee]

I'm married. I went with a double- barrelled surname and my baby will too. It's the 21st century - why should women not have the same 'right' to pass on their name? I know it'll work out difficult in the future if our child gets married and has children of their own, but I figured they'll have their own views on the topic and be able to decide what to do.

My surname is 'foreign' and a relative suggested giving the baby a middle name from that country instead and then just one surname. I think she was missing the point entirely. I'm not interested in reflecting that part of my heritage in the name - I want to pass on the name which I've had all of my life!

 

[Lau88]

My first has a double barrel surname as will this baby. Personally i couldn't not share my child's name, my oh didn't say anything about it when i told him that's how it would be, but i think he realised how much id been through with certain members of his family who tried to "claim" her as one of them. Of course im in the wrong with them for having my name there too. I think your oh needs to be more understanding of your wishes.

 

[threebirds]

Hiya, we are married but I didn't change my name.
We plan to use my surname as a second middle name
The baby's last name will be my husbands. We're both happy with that. Good luck x

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

My DD Has OH's last name same as her brother will, we're not married but engaged so I will have his name one day lol.
Never crossed my mind to even put my name in there.
X