Baby #2, Labour anxiety..

[jade1991]

Hi everyone! I'm creeping over early mainly because I feel this maybe isn't a post for 1st tri.

Basically with my daughter I had a horrendous labour, ended in forceps, but the whole experience was terrible, a midwife did an unauthorised sweep and said she wouldn't, baby's heart rate was all over the place so I wasn't allowed any further pain relief, sent home twice even though I was in agony, and had a 9lb3 baby even though I was told to expect a 5/6lber.... basically after the labour around 4 months after I was diagnosed with PTSD, following on from that. To this day I've never been back to 100% but I did have a bit of postnatal depression too.

I've spoken with my midwife and she is suggesting referring me to a birth specialist and mental health team to prevent this happening again.. but obviously this won't be for another number of weeks.

Has anyone got any experience of similar situations and how you dealt with the next labour/what was put in place for you?

She has said that they'll monitor with growth scans nearer to the end to prevent the same massive misjudgement (my bump always measured 3 weeks too small!!).. but yeah, I'm just kinda looking for some familiarity and a little bit of positive reassurance haha. Hope everyone is well!! X

 

[xdxxtx]

My first delivery was quite traumatic. I'm not gonna go into detail as to scare anyone, but when I had my next SURPRISE pregnancy (because I was NOT having any more kids after that ordeal), I was soooo scared. I worried the entire pregnancy about what that delivery would be like. It was beautiful, by the way. Not overly painful, and very short (2 pushes), even though I had an epidural that DIDN'T WORK. With my third, I had an induction, no pain meds. Again, it was beautiful. It was my best by far. It wasn't overly painful, and my baby practically jumped out without me even pushing at all. (I was 7 cms dilated; they said baby wasn't coming... well, she did, and nobody was there to catch. lol) My fourth wasn't difficult, either. I remember the pain more fondly because it was only 14 months ago, but it really wasn't bad. An extremely long labor (and a surprise 9lb2oz baby after the rest of mine were 7-something), no pain meds again, but the delivery was quick, and I went from 7 cms to 10 in seconds again, and the baby was out in one push - no tearing or anything! I'm STILL anxious about this labor and delivery, although I've had three AWESOME deliveries. That first one just scarred me for life.

I understand your worry - and share it... Try to take a deeeeeeeeeeeeep breath.... and remember that your body will remember what to do and has already had some practice, so you're likely to have a MUCH easier time. There's a good, great, wonderful chance that you'll have a perfect labor and delivery this time.

 

[jade1991]

Thank you so much for your kind post! It's women like you that give me some confidence!

I think you're right we'll all be scared and anxious but hopefully this time will be easier as my body will know what to do. I'm so glad your following Labour's were positive and hopefully you get another good one this time around!

Thank you X

 

[whatwillbex]

Hi Hun, just wanted to let you know you are not alone. Please see my thread I made the other day about I still cry 4 years later.
I thought I was ok but since becoming pregnant it has bought back a lot of raw emotions. My midwife has been fab and suggested talk talk the counselling service. They have even arranged for the head midwife of the ward to talk through my notes about what happened and what went wrong with my last delivery. Definitely talk to your midwife they are so supportive. She has even put me in touch with the consultant and we have been discussing me having a csection not that it is easier just another option. Just keep talking don't bottle it up. I had postnatal depression as I bottled everything up. Determined this time to be more open about how I feel x

 

[superfrizbee]

Hi hun, I can't offer too much advice as neither of my births have been traumatic and both have been short labours. However my first was a hospital birth and my second a home birth. I too was more scared the second time around knowing the pain that was coming, but weirdly having done it before I and my body felt better prepared. I knew what I was doing, how to control my pushing, didn't panic so much during contractions etc. I think that helped me manage the pain and situation better. I had a second degree tear after my first delivery and nothing after the second so I must have done something right! I hope you find something to help you. For me it was about having control. I used a tens machine. I don't know if it helped pain wise, but I liked having something to hold and "do" during contractions (it had a boost button that I would mash during). With that in one hand and gas and air in the other I felt like I was more in control. The gas and air piece was better for biting to be honest. I didn't really get to use it for pain relief as my son appeared 10 minutes after the midwife arrived! My friend who had ptsd after her traumatic birth had some counselling before her second which did help her, but she decided on an elective c section in the end. Good luck with your decision and the rest of pregnancy/birth/motherhood!

 

[lindsayms05]

I have no advice other than to tell you you are not alone in feeling that way. I had a very traumatic birth with my daughter and was petrified when I got pregnant again. Things took a turn for me and I have now had a procedure due to IC that will not allow for a vaginal delivery so I will have to have a csection. I'm not going to lie, I know that a csection will be no walk in the park because I had a laparotomy done for my surgery which is the same incision as a csection, but I am somewhat relieved that a vaginal delivery is off the table for me. I'm sure a second delivery would have been much easier than my first, but that choice is out of my hands now. Don't feel alone in being scared! It's definitely normal after a traumatic birth.

 

[Farmgirlalee]

My first was awful. Water broke- labor didn't start. They induced but I swear up and down they really over did it on the pitocin. My body was convulsing each contraction and I went from being able to breath through contractions the first half hour to screaming. My body wouldn't dilate because of the incredible stress and pain I as in, they finally gave me an epidural. When I was ready to push I couldn't feel the contractions and had to have them tell me when to push so I felt really out of balance. They had to use vacuum pressure to help pull her out and I did have and episiotomy. Some of it wasn't bad and I recovered well, but yeah it was mentally really ravaging.

With this one- my first OB appointment I made it very clear that if there was any induction we were going to start MUCH slower and not just go with what the normal dosages are. I am learning to be very outspoken about what I need and if that means my doctor and team need to hear my story three or four times then that is what I will get because this is my body and I need to be confident. With my first I didn't feel confident in speaking up- I felt once I signed the papers that was it.

Also make sure your partner or whoever will be with you when you labor knows about your fears so they can stand up and say "No" if things are getting out of hand.

I think the second time we deliver will be totally different. That is what my mom has said and most stories I have read said the second time around will be so much easier. Hang in there but don't forget to advocate for yourself and your limits. *hugs*