Baby #3? Mommy's of 3+ please read.

[Maybe1daysoon]

I came back to these forums after all these years to get the advice of all mommy's of 3++. We have a 4yo DS and a nearly 2 yr old DD. The topic of the third is bought up weekly (if not more). I'm scared, I really don't want another baby DH insists. I just can't imagine it being 3 of them and 2 of us and being alone with 3 children scares the heck out of me. I love being pregnant and I love babies but 3 of my own ahhhhh
What is the 3rd one like. Is it manageable? We wanted the first sooooo badly and the second came as the most pleasant surprise, but 2 were inevitable for us (we are both only children and knew we didn't want to raise an only child) but 3!!!!
IDK give me the good, the bad, and the ugly of 3!
Thanks mama's!
(Is there a different forum group that I should post this question in like ttc or 1st tri? Maybe even the older kid groups suggestions on that as well)

 

[Missy08]

No advice, but I'm looking for the same info! We currently have 7 & 2 year old girls. We also knew wanted 2 but now the question of a 3rd is coming up. Looking for answers to the same questions!

 

[Maybe1daysoon]

At least you have two of one gender and its assumed that youd want a son. Once I had my DD everyone and their mothers FIGURED that we wouldn't want a third becasue we already have "one of each" or "the million dollar family"

 

[Missy08]

Yeah, I had thought about that too and I would love to have a son but, then again, we aren't guaranteed that either. I do think people kind of assume we are done just because we've had 2. I've decided not to tell anyone if we start TTC because I'm excited to see the shocked reactions when we tell people

It does seem like more and more people are having larger families, or maybe I'm just noticing them more....DH is 1 of 3, my SIL has 4 kiddos, and several people on my facebook are on or have had their 3rd kiddos.

 

[Maybe1daysoon]

Exactly I have quite a few of my sorority sisters on or baking their thirds. I thought of putting this question on my fb but I don't want anyone to know we're even considering until I'm sure; because my aunts would start shopping again.

 

[Jessicahide]

For me personally number three just slotted into place and was a little dream come true, may i also add on a more personal level, i was your dh a few years ago and my dh was not wanting anymore and i was broken, my heart hurt everyday wanting another child, and i think if a partner wants another, they other should say ok, because its not a controllable want, its a need inside someone xxx

 

[Maybe1daysoon]

He acts pathetic some times its sad really. Tonight he said all I'll have to do is breastfeed and he'll do everything else. He also threatened to replace my bc with tic tacs... he is clearly joking so we had a little laugh. He is giving me a few more months tho so that's good. I actually offered him a sports car if we could nix the whole idea. He said he would give up driving forever just to have another one lol. It was kinda sweet. (He's a car guy)

 

[Jessicahide]

He acts pathetic some times its sad really. Tonight he said all I'll have to do is breastfeed and he'll do everything else. He also threatened to replace my bc with tic tacs... he is clearly joking so we had a little laugh. He is giving me a few more months tho so that's good. I actually offered him a sports car if we could nix the whole idea. He said he would give up driving forever just to have another one lol. It was kinda sweet. (He's a car guy)

I think he is being very clear that he will not be able to "get over" this xx

 

[Maybe1daysoon]

I have my yearly exam next week so I'll be discussing with my OB then. Trying to stay in WTT as long as possible lol. Not sure why but this one is the hardest decision I have made yet. We are basically having another. At this point I'm looking for the most practice time and gap.

 

[CaliDreaming]

For me personally number three just slotted into place and was a little dream come true, may i also add on a more personal level, i was your dh a few years ago and my dh was not wanting anymore and i was broken, my heart hurt everyday wanting another child, and i think if a partner wants another, they other should say ok, because its not a controllable want, its a need inside someone xxx

This is how I feel on the matter too, except I think I'm more sympathetic when it's the woman that wants more than the man since the hard work usually falls mostly on mothers. My brother wanted a third to try for a boy, and my SIL wanted to stay at 2 because she is a SAHM and doesn't get a lot of help since my brother's job has him working long hours. My bro convinced my SIL to have another and promised he would help out more, but once the baby came he did not do his share. I really feel bad for SIL although she of course loves the baby.

In my case, I am the one who wants a third and my dh wants to stay at two. He is looking forward to a time when we can have more time together and he also wants to have more money to save and other things.

I think his concerns are valid, but I do 99.9% of the child related work and we would still be able to have more time after the third child got out of the baby/toddler stages. As for money, there is no material thing I'd want more than a third child and we'd be able to make sure that all three children had a good quality of living with our income.

To his credit, he understands how strongly I feel about it and accepted that we will try for a third. It is a huge thing to ask but I just think I would live the rest of my life with regret and some resentment, so I don't feel too bad about insisting on #3.

 

[Jessicahide]

For me personally number three just slotted into place and was a little dream come true, may i also add on a more personal level, i was your dh a few years ago and my dh was not wanting anymore and i was broken, my heart hurt everyday wanting another child, and i think if a partner wants another, they other should say ok, because its not a controllable want, its a need inside someone xxx

This is how I feel on the matter too, except I think I'm more sympathetic when it's the woman that wants more than the man since the hard work usually falls mostly on mothers. My brother wanted a third to try for a boy, and my SIL wanted to stay at 2 because she is a SAHM and doesn't get a lot of help since my brother's job has him working long hours. My bro convinced my SIL to have another and promised he would help out more, but once the baby came he did not do his share. I really feel bad for SIL although she of course loves the baby.

In my case, I am the one who wants a third and my dh wants to stay at two. He is looking forward to a time when we can have more time together and he also wants to have more money to save and other things.

I think his concerns are valid, but I do 99.9% of the child related work and we would still be able to have more time after the third child got out of the baby/toddler stages. As for money, there is no material thing I'd want more than a third child and we'd be able to make sure that all three children had a good quality of living with our income.

To his credit, he understands how strongly I feel about it and accepted that we will try for a third. It is a huge thing to ask but I just think I would live the rest of my life with regret and some resentment, so I don't feel too bad about insisting on #3.

I'm glad he agreed to try for a third it's heartbreaking when you want a baby so much, it's all you can think of, and you feel as though someone you love is standing in your way of being happy xxxx I don't know what i would have done if dh had not changed his mind, i spent many nights sobbing to myself that is for sure xxx

 

[Maybe1daysoon]

We both work outside the home and we split most of the housework. I wish he would just get over it since McKenzie is nearly our of diapers and we were JUST starting to get more freedom. The conversation has gone from weekly to daily, I just wish that I wanted it as bad as he does. Eventually I'll give in.