Baby Blues, plain exhaustion or PND?

[CupcakeBaby]

I don't know if I'm getting PND or if this is just normal.

Having a baby just isn't the joy I was expecting.

I'm EBF and she's been super fussy feeding every hour or so for 3 days so am really tired and stretched to a limit I've never experienced before.

I just keep wishing I could have my old life back, go back to work and sleep 8 hours straight.

I don't know that I love my baby yet. I don't want any harm to come to her, she's adorable and I'm super proud of her. But I can't coo over her like DH and the rest of my family seem to. I just don't really enjoy her and feel I'm wishing time away until she's a bit bigger and happier.

Is this normal? Am I awful?

 

[DragonflyWing]

You are NOT awful. It's certainly possible that you're developing PND, how do you feel otherwise? Do you feel sad, numb, anxious, etc? If you're really feeling badly, then I'd suggest seeing your doctor so you can nip it in the bud before it gets worse.

On the other hand, sometimes it takes a while to bond with your baby, and honestly, newborn babies are not all that interesting They sleep, they poop, they eat, they fuss...it'll be a little while yet until she starts interacting and being more interesting. It doesn't make you a bad person if you don't find her fascinating right away.

 

[Al Syr]

It could be just baby blues. I had it with my first born, I felt like I didn't want him. Yes he was precious, had such a sweet face and the little sound of his cry melted my heart but I just wasn't happy. At 3 weeks or so post partum it went away and everything just became a perfect feeling. This time I think I have second baby blues . . . I think! I feel totally bonded with my new daughter and I adore her and love her to pieces as much as I love my son, but I feel sooooooo guilty about my son not being my only child anymore that I have cried over it.

If you continue to feel this way past 3-4 weeks I'd give you doctor a call. Hang in there, I promise it gets better

 

[Sinead82]

I could have written your post myself - my lo is a week old and I am finding it a struggle. I'm also thinking back to when it was just hubby and me and everything seemed so easy.

My midwife says that these feelings are all completely normal at this point but if they go on I should visit my gp as it may be pnd and it's inportant to get it treated early if it is. I feel like I am in a fog and going through the motions, but my midwife has reassured me that my love for lo needs time to grow and will come. It's normal to be overwhelmed by it all.

I'm sorry I couldn't be more help, but I thought it might help you to know you are not alone in how you feel x

 

[b4baby]

I had exactly the same. I always thought that a few days after birth and I would be back to normal. But my hormones were everywhere, I was EBF but it was not coming easily to me and I was stressing, I was tired and just out of it. I remember thinking that this was my life from now on. I refused to see people and were ignoring calls/texts unless they were my immediate family!
But slowly it all came together and about 3/4 weeks it all started to get better. Hang in there, the first few weeks truly are the hardest. Try and nap when you can, I know this isn't easy as I always struggled to sleep in the day. Have you considered expressing a bit of milk so someone else can feed LO whilst you get a good few hours in? Just stay strong, it does get easy and one day you will wake up and feel that gush of love like everyone else seems to, remember they didn't have o go through what you did!

 

[Dibbles]

Sounds normal to me I was the same with all my children. It gets better after about 6-8 weeks. Ofcourse be on the look out for PND and symptoms of it getting worse.

I think it's unfair how we are prepped to believe we will be so head over heels over the baby that we will glide through the hardships in the beginning.

It is hard, it is frustrating, it is normal to wish for the hours and days to fly by. It will get better getting a few good night's sleep would definitely help. Can you express and ask someone else (DH, your mum, sister?) to take over for a couple of nights? If not it will pass eventually ^.^

Wish you all the best

 

[Al Syr]

Hope you are doing good. I now really do believe I have baby blues. I feel guilty, out of place, and sooooooo exhausted. I would do anything to sleep for 8 hours straight. It's been 2 weeks and 3 days of very short sleep intervals.

I guess I'm asking for too much there.

 

[CupcakeBaby]

Thanks everyone. Just knowing others feel the same really helped.

I'm feeling so much more positive now. Starting to enjoy my tiny lady and although I'm still exhausted I've learnt how to cope better and am much calmer in general.

I think it's unfair that most things say baby blues are 4-5 days after birth and then you feel normal.

It's 3 weeks now and I could still cry at some point most nights when she's screwing but I'm certain it's not PND. Just pure tiredness and frustration!

 

[b4baby]

I think it's unfair that most things say baby blues are 4-5 days after birth and then you feel normal.

It's 3 weeks now and I could still cry at some point most nights when she's screwing but I'm certain it's not PND. Just pure tiredness and frustration!

This is so true. For the first week I was doing ok, and I felt pretty smug about it. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks and it all went down hill until I hit 4 weeks. I think you do just learn how to cope better

 

[MindUtopia]

I think that sounds completely normal. Just hang in there and take it day by day (or hour by hour, or feed by feed). It really does get better! I remember when my daughter was that age I just never felt like I'd ever feel normal or sleep again. I also didn't feel incredibly bonded to her right away either. I loved her and felt responsible for her, but it took to about a month or more for my maternal instinct to really kick in.

You will feel much better in a few weeks. 6 weeks was when it started to get A LOT better and was better still by 8 weeks. At 12 weeks, I felt like I really had the hang of it and almost felt like myself again. Now I'd be really sad to have to go back to work right now and leave her (though I am beginning to work again a little bit, as I work from home). The first few weeks are SOOOOO hard. Just keep going. You're doing it and it will be so much easier in a few weeks. Just keep doing it. And get support for BF if you need it. We had a lot of struggles with BF early on. It's hard, but you're doing a great thing for you baby so keep at it if it's what you want to do. You'll be so happy you did. And make sure you have someone there (partner, mum, sister, friend) to take care of YOU. Your job is too look after your baby, but you also need someone who's job is to look after you so you don't need to worry about anything but feeding and caring for your baby.

 

[CupcakeBaby]

MindUtopia. Xxxxx Thanks so much. That was a wonderful post.

I'm still having teary days but fewer and further between and have days now where I'm my old self again (except more tired - lol!)