Baby crying - Pick up or not?

[Wobbles]

My HV said if baby is having a paddy (oh boy how are they so loud when so small? lol) and shes fed, clean, nappy dry etc then to let her cry it out! I know shes not very well at the moment and to be fair she isn't a bad baby but I'm not saying shes ill can I just leave her .... has nothing to do with now its something that was said a while back and its played on my mind since. Its not right to leave them surely OR is it? Is there where she gets use to being picked up on every wimper?

Just curious what you Mums think

Thanks x

 

[Lil_Baby_Boo]

At first I picked Noah up at every wimper and it got to the point where if I walk out the room he started crying. I had to start letting him cry other wise I'd never get anything done! He's a good baby and I know his pain & hunger cry and if its that then obviosly I do something. Sometimes he does want picking up and I will do but there's just times I need to eat or get dressed and I have to let him cry. Sometimes he doesn't like to be held a lot, after a while he will get a bit restless and wants his own space!

A friend of mine picked her LO up at every moan and now she can't even go to the toilet without him!! He screams his head off & throws a tantrum, in 9 months she's never been without him - not even for an hour, she has to shower when he's in bed as he won't even sit with his dad on his own!!

 

[miel]

Hello Wobbles,
i am not a mom yet may be this month but i have work with a lot new born babies and older ones also ...
We always say in my family a newborn never cries for no reason really (it may be discomfort by some thing that we can not see really) and it is there only way to signal it to us.
i think if you can't tell why she is crying she can not tell you why either ...
but you are her mom you will have the best instinct to tell and learn her different cries even the ones when she just want to be pick up...it doesn't have to be because sheis in a physical discomfort either they are so tiny and everything is scary for them a noise ,a smell they don't know this new world ...who knows?
i wish you the best and good luck !
hope i made sens i think when they older they can trick you better with the pick me up think ...

 

[Tilly]

Go with your gut feeling, of course HV etc can be harsher.. it's not their baby. When Bethanie is ill, I baby her even more than I do normally. Saying that though, you do need some rest yourself and sometimes the little babies like to be left alone (all that holding must make them sore).

Id say, let her cry it out a little but if you feel you should pick her up, then do it.

 

[marley2580]

I always pick Kaya up as soon as possible if she's crying, but sometimes she has to be left as I'm getting dressed etc, but I always pick her up as soon as I can. Even if she's been changed fed etc she may be crying because she wants comfort (she's only 7 weeks old!), Kaya also cries when she's fighting sleep and I've read that babies of this age can't sooth themselves to sleep - they need help. I would never leave a baby to cry for any length of time, they have no understanding of why you are not coming and they can (I believe) think that they've been abandoned. I never want my baby to think that there's no point in crying as no one comes.
Just my opinion though

 

[cupcake]

I studied early childhood development and most of the theories state young babies need to be attended to when they cry to develop trust in their caregiver. when your baby cries and you answer it knows that crying will help it communicate and that you will come and help it. i agree that new borns dont cry for no reason, even if its feeling like i need mommy i think that is a good reason.

i dont think its the end of the world if u need to put on your sweater and she cries for a min as long as you respond to her in a relatively short amount of time i think thats fine. older babies are a bit different but i think atleast the first while this theory seems very logical ( some people say it extends the whole of the first year).

 

[becky&willow]

i do let Willow cry it out sometimes other wise i would never get anything done, i know the difference between her hungry and pain cry so those times i will go pick her up but if she is just wingy i let her cry it out.

 

[lorrilou]

Everyone always says leave them when they are crying and they'll eventually go to sleep/stop etc..... But its so hard, callum cried pretty much all day yesterday (he's not well mind) and i just wanted to cuddle him in all day.

But you dont want to end up having a really clingy baby, especially if your going back to work, i know i dont!

 

[Tilly]

Im not a baby expert but even from a young age i've only left Bethanie for 5 minutes at a time - then I will go check her and keep coming back (this was from about 3-4 months, as I think doing it before then is a bit harsh). I thought as long as you came back they wouldn't think they'd been abandoned? thats why experts say to return after 5-10 mins? if I go out of the room now, Bethanie has a little moan but then shes fine as she knows I will be back in a few minutes.

Even now, it gets too hard and I can't leave her if she is really crying.. no one wants to see their baby upset!

 

[Wobbles]

Thankies

Was the replies I expected and agree with but as a new Mum made me wonder after what she said - as it would

 

[Tilly]

Of course, wondering is what all new mums do im sure.. I know I did and still do!!

 

[Tam]

My sister picked her LO up at every whimper and at 1 yrs old now, she is a miserable baby, if she is put down and wants to be picked up (which is most of the time) she screams, if her Dad is sorting her and she cries, my sister takes her off him to comfort her, but as a result doing this has made her cry for every bit of attention she seeks. Don't get me wrong, she is not generally miserable, but she cries loads coz she is so demanding, coz she knows she can be.

I pick Alfie up if he is crying in distress, but if he is tired I have to leave him to cry it out, it only last a few minutes but if I pick him up he tries to fight sleeping. Generally I hold Alfie alot as I love cuddles and playing with him etc, but he is quite an independent baby and very content and you only really hear him cry if he is hungry or over tired. x

 

[marley2580]

I think once they're a bit older its ok to let them cry for a wee bit, but not at this age

 

[beanie]

I never left Seren to cry despite my hv saying I was making a rod for my own back - she is not at all clingy and I believe thats becuse she feels secure that if she wats her mum I am there

 

[Tam]

I was refering to Alfie as he is now, but as a tiny baby I never really put him down much in the first place, I just wanted to cuddle him all the time unless Daddy wanted a turn ofcourse

 

[mickey]

I do not let Juleika cry, only if I must e.g. I am in the shower... (apparently I even take the bouncing cradle with me in the bathroom when I shower!)

otherwise I pick her up as soon as I can to give her comfort.

I try to get her used gradually to the new world around her, for example every day I can leave her a little bit longer in her cot on her own.

I heard as well that they cannot get to sleep by themselves yet and now that they can see already a little bit more they start to fight sleep as everything around becomes more interesting.

so sometimes they cry as they are tired and I would not let herself cry to sleep as she just doesn't know yet how to get to sleep herself.

but tbh I do not get done a lot during the day, but she is my priority, everything else OH helps out!

just ask myself how I am going to do this when once a little brother or sister is coming

 

[Wobbles]

Planning another Mickey?

 

[mickey]

OH is planning, me not yet

 

[Wobbles]

lol @ your OH when is he planning it for?!

 

[Iwantone!!!]

i think even thou i anit a mum yet there is a fine line between not wanting a winy baby that cries all the time and not wnat to upset ur baby by leaving ur baby to cy forever u will fine ur own way of dealing with her criesxxx