Baby name etiquette?

[Kacie]

Hi,

I have a friend that i went to uni with... I see her maybe 2 -3 times a year now to catch up and just chat on facebook etc and she lives a couple of hours away from me.

She is pregnant and due one week after me. She knows she is having a boy and has had her name picked out from the beginning (she even has it embroidered on a blanket already). BUT she has not told anyone what this name is.

I, on the other hand, am on team yellow and have taken ages to think up any names... I still don't have a girls name but I am now set on a boy's name that I really adore, even though I only chose it a couple of weeks ago.

But now I am so paranoid that it is going to be that same name as my friend has chosen.

I was debating texting her and saying " I have chosen a name beginning with 'S', is this the same as you?" Just to see, but if she did come back and say it was the same initial, i still don't know if I would want to change it as I love the name so much now and there is still a chance it would begin with an 'S' but still be a different name

What do you think the right thing to do is? If she had told me her baby's name first and it turned out to be the same as mine then I think I would change my baby boy name, but as she hasn't told me then I can't do anything about it if I have a baby boy and end up naming him the same thing as she was planning. However i think I would still feel bad if this happened.

I know the odds of us both choosing the same name are slim to none but I can't shake the feeling that it will happen. And I know she would be super upset/mad if I have my baby first and anounce his name as the same as hers

Sorry this is so long.. what do you think?, it's not like the boys would grow up together so I don't think it is so bad if we end up with the same names but at the same time I would actively avoid the name if I knew what she has chosen in the first place.

sorry, so long, hope this makes sense

xxx

 

[ILoveShoes]

I wouldn't worry about it. It doesn't sound like you see her very often, and she hasn't told you what it is, so she can't accuse you of stealing her name
xx

 

[ClaireNicole]

I don't think the text is a bad idea... If your not having too many issues with telling your name I would say My boy name is ...... and tell her the whole thing... and then say please don't tell anyone I just want to make sure that yours isn't the same!

 

[NZBeth]

To be honest, if she hasn't told anyone the name then I can't see how or why she should be mad if you end up using the same name. I have a friend who had always wanted to use a certain name for a son, even before we met she was always going to name a son this name if she had another boy. It just happens to be the same name as my son, but she told this me well before her baby was born (she was on team yellow) and it never bothered me. We see each other all the time and our boys are just under two years apart and will grow up together and it really isn't a problem to either of us. I'm having another boy now and did check with her what all her 2 boys middle names were to make sure none of the names were on our list as that would have been going a bit far .

 

[Samemka]

Unless you've discussed baby names once, I'd say you'd have to be very 'unlucky' to have chosen the same name! Asking her the letter though sounds a good idea but like the girls above me have said, if by some chance the name is the same, she can't be mad...it's just a coincidence!

 

[RubyRainbows]

When i was preggo with my son, i had a dream that my cousin used the same name i had planned, for her baby who was due two months earlier. Our families had a falling out years ago so i had no idea if she was having a boy or girl or what names she had planned. But i couldn't shake the feeling that she was going to use the name first!

Sure enough -- she *did* use the name as her son's middle name. Just a crazy coincidence! I ended up naming my son something different all together!

If your name isn't a secret, i would text her & just say "we have decided on the name -- " And just see what she says. Chances are, it's not the same name!

Just out of curiosity -- what is the name? Just wondering if it's a popular one...

 

[katy1310]

maybe you should wait till both babies are born before disclosing the name to each other, then arrange to send each other an email at the exact same time with the baby's name!! And if they are the same it won't really matter if you don't see each other much, plus nobody can be accused of copying or stealing