baby no2 in US after 1st baby in uk... culture shock!

[deafgal]

Its ok to say no. I never got tenus shot (actually tenus plus whooping cough vaccine) until after birth after I decided yes . I don't have to though. The decision was all mine. they sure did made me feel like there is something wrong with me when I told them no a lot such as flu shots. LIKE i am paranoid or I arma neglectful mother . They just want to check the date of the baby so they can monitor the baby as she/he grow . personally, sometimes, I think they do it in case the mother want to abort. As for pap smear for pregnancy, because you had unprotected sex (pregnancy result from it) , I guess they feel they need to check for STD to protect the baby and others. not sure as I never understood why either.

I do know that doctors will stop seeing you if you don't trust them with anything. I guess they don't want to deal with malpractice either.

 

[hannymunchkin]

i suppose that makes sense but Im opting out of anything that can wait till after the baby is born. its just weird that here they want to do everything while you are pregnant but in the uk they want to wait to do everything after (which is better).

 

[cupcakesarah]

at 13wks i got a transvaginal scan!!! i did not want to be voilated like that but kinda felt pressured into it.

This might sound harsh but a transvaginal scan is hardly a violation. Having been through 2 IUI's and a round of IVF to get pregnant I had to have many of these, often at 8am followed by a blood test, 3 times a week. They really are not the end of the world and I always found nurses very respectful while conducting them. Just say no next time if you don't want it but they show a much greater level of clarity with something very small.

 

[Radiance]

I'm in the US and on my 3rd pregnancy, never have I had care like that. She sounded harsh and pushy. Remember each area and hospitals have different policies. You can always say no and switch health providers? They normally do blood work that test for multiple things like infections, STDs, and drugs and transvaginal ultrasound only if you are before 12 weeks or high risk (IC) but that is here. I recently moved and my new OB does all of those things, it was very weird and different compared to my previous two.

 

[babydustpower]

Pap smears do not need to be performed during your pre-natal visits unless you've had one that was abnormal in the past. I didn't have to have a pap smear during my first prenatal appointment even though I was due for one. My OB said that's fine and that I can do one after delivery.

Trasvaginal probing is done when the baby is 8 weeks because the baby is so small. At 12 weeks, my doctor used an abdominal machine because the baby was big enough to see.

If you want to see which OB accept your insurance and also read reviews on doctors, I recommand using a site called zocdoc.com

It lists doctors in the United States along with what other patients think of them. You can also schedule your doctor from that site.

 

[BunnyN]

After having done a lot of reseach on it I believe PAP smears are way overused in general.

The idea behind doing one when pregnant is that if there is already an abnormality pregnancy hormones can speed it up. They wont generally do anything about it during pregnancy but they want to be ready to act as soon as the baby is born. In other countries they do one at one of your postnatal visits. My MW told me I should get one after having the baby and I said I had decided not to, after I explaind why she admitted that she agreed and doesnt do them any more either.

 

[hannymunchkin]

I'm in the US and on my 3rd pregnancy, never have I had care like that. She sounded harsh and pushy. Remember each area and hospitals have different policies. You can always say no and switch health providers? They normally do blood work that test for multiple things like infections, STDs, and drugs and transvaginal ultrasound only if you are before 12 weeks or high risk (IC) but that is here. I recently moved and my new OB does all of those things, it was very weird and different compared to my previous two.

I'm with kaiser so Im limited to seeing their drs. I managed to switch to the OB/GYn I was originally supposed to have. i see her next month so hopefully she's better. I read that they also use transvaginal scans in the UK but only in the circumstances you described(up to 10wks) but i was 13weeks at my 1st appointment

 

[mara16jade]

I have Kaiser too, and they have a TON of ob/gyns in my area. I saw one last year and hated her, so I won't be going back to her again. She was sooooo pushy about me going on BC even though I can't (hormonal or IUD). So I let her talk and pretty much told her "nope, not doing it - thanks for the concern". They she told me I was obese and NEEDED to lose 30lbs. LOL I'm 5'2" and 140lbs - no skinny minnie but I'm also athletic.

You have to take when they say and want to do with grain of salt. You ultimately have the right to allow or deny them to do whatever. And that goes for all doctors, car mechanics, consultants, sales reps, etc. Everyone has an opinion and you decide whether to agree or disagree.

 

[zorak]

Are you doing your green card application at the same time? What you are describing sounds more like the medical checks you need to go when you get your green card than those checks you do during pregnancy. For a green card you need all sorts of checks done, even if u come from the UK... It's just their procedure.

I've always thought pregnancy and labour were better in the US than in the UK, but I guess it will depend on the hospital/medical care you get. But like other ladies have said - it is your right to say 'no'!

Good luck xx

This is not true at all re. green card!

 

[zorak]

Hey,

I am so glad that I found this post! (I am also with Kaiser coincidentally).

Like others have said you just need to learn to say no. Fortunatly, I have had no issues declining things like the pap smear (had one recently anyway). I was happy to have a trans vag ultrasound though at 8 weeks since I have PCOS and this helps to date the pregnancy accurately.

I am happy with my OB, she is very hands off so my appts just normally consist of getting uring checked, blood pressure etc.

That being said, however, I have hired a doula. I want to go as med free as I can and feel that having someone there to support me will make all the difference. Mine is costing $850 (which includes lactation consulting) - maybe it is something you should consider? I know it seems a lot of money but I figure it is an investment.

 

[deafgal]

Yeah, what's she going through is actually what most American pregnant moms go though. Although not all do this, but this is the standard that most ob/gyns are trained to do. It has nothing to do with green card or anything like that.

 

[Sweedot]

Hi, I'm British and I live in the US. I'm from Staffordshire.

Your first post sounded "scary" but the reality is a lot of what you described is quite standard over here. I remember being surprised too by the pap smear at my first ob visit but it's actually standard to get a pal smear yearly here and so I was "due" anyway. The transvaginal us was a bit odd at 13 weeks as they usually offer a dating scan in the us, covered by insurance at 6-10 weeks, though you can refuse it if you wish. I didn't because I'd suffered a obvious miscarriage and so was happy to have the reassurance.

As far as delivery goes, it's a lot more flexible, but it does sadly depend on your insurance. I am at a joint obgyn and midwife operated practice, I did deliver in a hospital first pregnancy but I had a midwife led birth. And only saw midwives except for once when I saw an obgyn for complications.

My friend, Ana, who has had 7 babies in the us delivered at a birthing Center. She is a trainee natural midwife and she had a water birth, no obgyns in sight and it was all very relaxed and natural. Gs and air is never offered here but there's alternatives, like hypnobirthing and tens machines which offer natural pain relief. I took hypnobirthing classes for my first pregnancy. I would suggest you do more research, have you called your insurer directly? It depends what's out of your network.

The care I've received here is exactly the same as the care I received in the uk, in fact I'd say I had more visits, which for me was a good thing. If you want less intervention I suggest looking at birthing centres or at the least looking for a local practice that is midwife led. I loved my midwife who delivered my daughter, she was excellent and I laboured in a tub.

Also, I have my 10 green card so if you have questions about that, please pm me. I've been through all the steps and I'm getting my citizenship.

 

[zorak]

As Sweedot says a lot of it really comes down to your insurance. I am also British and living in the US.

 

[Sweedot]

We've got blue cross federal and it's ppo. It's very flexible and I have hardly any out of pocket costs for baby or pregnancy related things.

It really depends where you are too, I had baby one in Massachusetts in Cambridge and it was amazing. I loved the hospital it was one of the best in the country and my practice was really good ith me.i had an induction because basically my amniotic fluid was too low and the hospital told me I had to be induced that day or my insurer would consider me going against medical advice and deny to cover the birth.

I was hysterical knowing that as had planned natural birth but my midwife fought for me and even though I was induced , it failed and the hospital pushed for c section but she supported me and we tried every single method of induction oer four days and I finally went into labour...so there are some fantastic midwives out there that really care and fight for what you want. With her help I got a vaginal delivery!!!

I'm in Virginia now and I had the early dating scan here, wasn't offered at my previous practice. I didn't have the pap smear at the first appt because I'd had one three months prior. And I was only offered like one other scan, so it's less hands on. My visits are super quick, I go in, pee in a cup, blood pressure and weight and a quick check of the baby and I'm off.

 

[zorak]

The Kaiser hospital I am delivering at actually has the lowest C-section rate in the county. They follow a mid-wife led model much like the UK where the doctors only get involved when needed. My doula has assisted at many births there and has said out of all the local hospitals it is probably most like what I would get in the UK. I actually paid a visit to labor and delivery last week for pre-term labor (fortunatly everything was ok once my contractions subsided and I was discharged after a few hours) . The nurses were fab and my husband said he was really comfortable in that environment too, so much so we never even bothered calling the doula!

 

[septbride]

I'm sorry this has been a tough transition. I must say, Kaiser is the worst insurance plan I've ever had, so that could be a large part of the problem. It might be worth switching, if you're able to do so.

 

[hannymunchkin]

I'm sorry this has been a tough transition. I must say, Kaiser is the worst insurance plan I've ever had, so that could be a large part of the problem. It might be worth switching, if you're able to do so.

unfortunately we cant switch, Im insured through hubbys work and it was hard enough getting added on without a social so its not an option until all my paperwork is sorted (which will probably be waaay after the baby comes) but yeah Kaiser is pants!

 

[hannymunchkin]

We've got blue cross federal and it's ppo. It's very flexible and I have hardly any out of pocket costs for baby or pregnancy related things.

It really depends where you are too, I had baby one in Massachusetts in Cambridge and it was amazing. I loved the hospital it was one of the best in the country and my practice was really good ith me.i had an induction because basically my amniotic fluid was too low and the hospital told me I had to be induced that day or my insurer would consider me going against medical advice and deny to cover the birth.

I was hysterical knowing that as had planned natural birth but my midwife fought for me and even though I was induced , it failed and the hospital pushed for c section but she supported me and we tried every single method of induction oer four days and I finally went into labour...so there are some fantastic midwives out there that really care and fight for what you want. With her help I got a vaginal delivery!!!

I'm in Virginia now and I had the early dating scan here, wasn't offered at my previous practice. I didn't have the pap smear at the first appt because I'd had one three months prior. And I was only offered like one other scan, so it's less hands on. My visits are super quick, I go in, pee in a cup, blood pressure and weight and a quick check of the baby and I'm off.

sounds pretty much like the uk, we live in maryland and i spoke to my obgyn about going over their recommended term +9days and she said they couldnt force an induction but they dont recommend going over that. my 1 baby was 13days overdue... and the midwives told me if she wasnt ready i could continue with the pregnancy with no induction. they were not putting any pressure on me which i dont believe would be the same here.

 

[hannymunchkin]

Hi, I'm British and I live in the US. I'm from Staffordshire.

Your first post sounded "scary" but the reality is a lot of what you described is quite standard over here. I remember being surprised too by the pap smear at my first ob visit but it's actually standard to get a pal smear yearly here and so I was "due" anyway. The transvaginal us was a bit odd at 13 weeks as they usually offer a dating scan in the us, covered by insurance at 6-10 weeks, though you can refuse it if you wish. I didn't because I'd suffered a obvious miscarriage and so was happy to have the reassurance.

As far as delivery goes, it's a lot more flexible, but it does sadly depend on your insurance. I am at a joint obgyn and midwife operated practice, I did deliver in a hospital first pregnancy but I had a midwife led birth. And only saw midwives except for once when I saw an obgyn for complications.

My friend, Ana, who has had 7 babies in the us delivered at a birthing Center. She is a trainee natural midwife and she had a water birth, no obgyns in sight and it was all very relaxed and natural. Gs and air is never offered here but there's alternatives, like hypnobirthing and tens machines which offer natural pain relief. I took hypnobirthing classes for my first pregnancy. I would suggest you do more research, have you called your insurer directly? It depends what's out of your network.

The care I've received here is exactly the same as the care I received in the uk, in fact I'd say I had more visits, which for me was a good thing. If you want less intervention I suggest looking at birthing centres or at the least looking for a local practice that is midwife led. I loved my midwife who delivered my daughter, she was excellent and I laboured in a tub.

Also, I have my 10 green card so if you have questions about that, please pm me. I've been through all the steps and I'm getting my citizenship.

like you said, it depends on insurance and mine sucks! Kaiser is great cos they have a lot of stuff under 1 roof but they are not flexible at all. i spoke to someone from there and they said they stopped using birthing centres in 2010. no more info. but i will try speaking to a few more people though i doubt it will make any difference.

 

[Sweedot]

I thought the whole big point of the American system was that it was set up so that you could have the care you choose for yourself, no outside party telling you what and when and how you can receive your care. It's BS! Lol....people are going mad about Obamacare because they don't want to government telling you what you can and can't do with your own healthcare and yet here we are with these awful insurance companies doing just that and worse because there's so little regulation...etc. just a rant! I get fed up too sometimes...it's ridiculous they won't allow you to birth in a birthing Center...you pay for your insurance you should be damn well able to birth your baby wherever you darn well
Please.