Baby Shower Questions and Issues

[HopefulMarla]

I'm not trying to pick a fight but I really don't think that lemongrass was being insensitive, but merely observing that dealing with a lost loved one and a terminally ill child is overwhelming in itself, and that a baby shower might not be at the top of her mother's priority list. Of course she deserves shower and for her baby to be celebrated, we all do, but sometimes tragedy overshadows that, understandably. We're all just trying to help.

You are not seeing my point. Sometimes, especially when someone is stressed out. Or overwhelmed. They just need to vent and be heard. I'm sure the OP knew that her mom was overwhelmed, and the situation was difficult. I'm sure she knew that she is financially responsible for her new child. It doesn't become helpful when people restate the obvious, and can come off pretty condescending. If we want to help each other, we should be encouraging and loving. That doesn't come off that way, and I see It a lot in threads. So I said something. It's fine if it doesn't win me popularity points. That's not why I said it. I said it because people don't realize it, and how is it suppose to change if no one knows it's happening? You don't have to agree with me, but I think it would be pretty silly to not even see my side of that. Just a little bit. I've had it happen to me. I'll post something, and people will take it wayyyyyy out of context, and almost be rude because they think I'm saying something im not. It's not helpful. I don't see how someone couldn't see that, that's not helpful. She is the most aware of the situation.

 

[felix555]

And sometimes we just need a bit of perspective and to be reminded that yes it sucks but right now unfortunately caring for a terminally ill child and coping with the death of a loved one might just trump a baby shower. We all give support differently as long as we are not rude or insensitive .... which nobody has been.

Wonder what the reaction would be if someone posted on here that they're trying to care for their terminally ill child and someone is upset with them for not making a baby shower a priority. My feeling is all hell would break loose.

 

[Genevevex]

A friend of mine is currently pregnant and living in Alaska, which is super far away from Florida where all of her family and friends live. To that end, she planned her own shower. She created some online registries with things she needs, so that people can buy from there and have the items mailed to her. Then, as she gets items in the mail she simply sets them aside.

On the day of her shower, she is going to have everyone log into Skype and have a Skype video call where she opens all the boxes.

Ultimately, it doesn't much matter if you have a shower or not, other than the experience of having one. A lot of the other ladies are right; many of the items you get are not terribly useful (though some are). If you want, start getting things now. Worst case is someone else buys the same thing, and you can always return one or the other to the store to exchange for something you need.

 

[ambertwogood]

Oh, Wow, I had no idea this thread was going to turn into this. First of all, to be perfectly honestly, I do agree with HopefulMaria, I have to admit that when I read majority of the posts I did feel they were slightly insensitive and a little condescending. But that is just my opinion. I am aware that my mother is overwhelmed, I too am helping to care for my niece whom I raised for 3 years and am incredibly close to, the fact that I know how overwhelming this all is us the main reason why I was asking if it is appropriate for me to just throw my own shower. Also, I think several people are under the impression that I haven't done or purchased anything for my child and am just planning on mooching off my friends and family. Neither of these are the case, and again this is just how some of the comments came across. I have bought lots of stuff and I am aware that majority of stuff gifted isn't useful and is just cutesie Stuff, I just have mainly small stuff to purchase and don't really think its financially smart to buy all that stuff if indeed it will be gifted to me at my shower. I am a first time mom, this is overwhelming, and I still deserve the experience of having a shower. That is not being selfish, I am well aware of what myself and my entire family is dealing with and to be perfectly honest I think the celebration of a new life would be a much needed breath of fresh air considering all the tradegy my family and I face daily.

 

[ambertwogood]

PS thank you to all posters that offered kind and considerate support. This thread was a question but a lot of it was venting. Thank you for realising that and offering helpful suggestions. It was much appreciated.

 

[MollyNorwood]

OP maybe call for a forum admin to close this thread? If you feel you have gotten some useful information from other posters and to prevent a potential blow up it may be best.
Wishing you all the best with what you and your family have been facing, and good luck with your baby

 

[felix555]

I'm not at all surprised you agree with HopefulMaria as she told you what you wanted to hear.

Good luck with your planning. I'm sure it will all work out and your family will welcome your new baby ... with or without a baby shower

 

[HopefulMarla]

I'm not at all surprised you agree with HopefulMaria as she told you what you wanted to hear.

Good luck with your planning. I'm sure it will all work out and your family will welcome your new baby ... with or without a baby shower

You're being a sore loser. Either way, OP sorry to make that a thing. I didn't realize so many people would be offended. I hope you get the shower you deserve! Especially with so much going on in your life. Just remember to breathe, and take it one step at a time. That's what helps me!

 

[Tiff]

Closed at OP's request.