Back to square one again and devastated

[kcmb0886]

DH and I have been trying for baby #2 since October of last year. We got our BFP in January and then a week later, my bbt dropped, and I began bleeding before I could even get a hold of the doctor's office. I was crushed but I resolved to continue trying and tried to convince myself that it was just another period and not a CP.

Well, we kept trying and finally got another BFP at the end of April. I had it in the back of my head that I shouldn't get excited, but then I saw the baby with a good strong heartbeat on ultrasound and he or she was growing great. Then at 10 weeks, I managed to get the baby's heartbeat on home Doppler. But the next day I couldn't. And the day after that, I couldn't. So I called the doctors office and they got me in immediately. The doctor couldn't find a heartbeat on Doppler either so she got me in instantly for an ultrasound. I will never forget how the tech wouldn't let me see the monitor. And then she looked up me and said "I'm so sorry, Kaitlyn, but I don't see a heartbeat." I wailed. The tech even cried with me.

I go for my D&C on Monday. And I know we have to wait two cycles to try again. But I am so anxious about the idea of trying again with possibly very messed up cycles and going through all of the motions, and becoming pregnant again just to lose it again, either as a CP or MC. I don't know how I will ever be excited about another pregnancy, because I don't feel optimistic that two losses in a row are just a fluke and not a sign of something wrong with my body.

 

[msbene]

I'm so sorry for your losses mama. Hang in there. I'm sure other ladies with more knowledge/experience on this board will answer soon. Am praying for you...

 

[Sweetkat]

Really sorry for your loss. I had 3 MMCs (8-10 weeks). The last one was a D&C at what would have been 11 weeks but there was no hb on the scan at 10&2.

I was really upset because I really thought that was my rainbow. Physically the D&C was much better than a natural MC at 8 weeks. The procedure was 20 minutes, no pain and only very slight spotting for 2-3 weeks after. I got my first period exactly 28 days after the spotting stopped and my periods have been like clockwork ever since.

I went for loads of tests so didn't try for a few months but we have an unfixable male factor issue (high DNA fragmentation) so we are now trying again (am 4&4 and at high risk of MC).

Good luck and hope you recover quickly from the D&C xxxxx

 

[zoe2010]

I am so so sorry! I had my first loss this week and it's been tough both physically and emotionally. Sending love and hugs to you!

 

[kcmb0886]

(deleted)

 

[kcmb0886]

Really sorry for your loss. I had 3 MMCs (8-10 weeks). The last one was a D&C at what would have been 11 weeks but there was no hb on the scan at 10&2.

I was really upset because I really thought that was my rainbow. Physically the D&C was much better than a natural MC at 8 weeks. The procedure was 20 minutes, no pain and only very slight spotting for 2-3 weeks after. I got my first period exactly 28 days after the spotting stopped and my periods have been like clockwork ever since.

I went for loads of tests so didn't try for a few months but we have an unfixable male factor issue (high DNA fragmentation) so we are now trying again (am 4&4 and at high risk of MC).

Good luck and hope you recover quickly from the D&C xxxxx

Thank you, and I am sorry for your losses. I hope you and DH will get your rainbow baby soon!

I appreciate hearing about your experiences with D&C. It makes me feel a little less anxious. Though I am not looking forward to how the dropping hormones are probably going to make me an emotional wreck. I can't wait for these next few weeks to be over.

 

[kcmb0886]

I am so so sorry! I had my first loss this week and it's been tough both physically and emotionally. Sending love and hugs to you!

I'm sorry for your loss. Love and hugs to you, too! Here is hoping we can recover quickly both physically and emotionally and go on to have our rainbow babies!

 

[emilydee87]

Mama I'm so sorry to hear this. So sad. I just had my first pregnancy and miscarriage 2 days ago, and have found so much comfort in these boards with women going through similar sadness. Is this home doppler thing safe? Its a very very good sign that you've already had a successful pregnancy. As hard as it is right now, at least you know that your body can do it. Also, I want to add that we've been TTC for 15 cycles with no success. This was the first month I did acupuncture and we got pregnant! Maybe something like that would make the difference for you. Good luck to you, and some day this will be a distant memory of struggle and perseverance.

 

[Wobbles]

Sorry to read this

 

[kcmb0886]

Sorry to read this

Thank you.

 

[kcmb0886]

Mama I'm so sorry to hear this. So sad. I just had my first pregnancy and miscarriage 2 days ago, and have found so much comfort in these boards with women going through similar sadness. Is this home doppler thing safe? Its a very very good sign that you've already had a successful pregnancy. As hard as it is right now, at least you know that your body can do it. Also, I want to add that we've been TTC for 15 cycles with no success. This was the first month I did acupuncture and we got pregnant! Maybe something like that would make the difference for you. Good luck to you, and some day this will be a distant memory of struggle and perseverance.

I'm sorry for your loss. How far along were you, if you don't mind my asking? The two times we've used Pre-Seed, we've gotten pregnant. Except that obviously we lost both of them. As far as the Doppler, it's no different than the doctors office. I used it all through my first pregnancy. If I become pregnant again, I know I'm going to become so paranoid that I will definitely use the Doppler again. I can't imagine if I went to my 1st trimester scan next week and found out then.

I hope that we can both be saying soon that our rainbow babies are on the way and that we go on to have happy healthy pregnancies.