bad first labour = bad future labours?

[kbwebb]

I had a really bad delivery (see below ticker) what would be likey to happen next time? Would I be a high risk pregnancy? Even though I had a good pregnancy? Would I be offered a section? Is it possible to have a 'normal' smooth labour?

 

[MindUtopia]

You absolutely can have a positive birth experience next time and in fact a traumatic birth is often the catalyst for lots of women to proactively choose to do things differently next time. Yes, sometimes things happen that are out of your control, but a bitof knowledge about what went wrong, why and better ways to handle it next time can goa long way to preventing it.

Doing your best to avoid induction is one way. Yes, sometimes it's medically necessary but often not and adds a lot of extra risk (andcould havecaused or worsened the shoulder dystocia). If you are afraid of the shoulder dystocia recurring, other than steering clear of induction, you might try to look for a midwife (even an independent midwife) who knows the Gaskin manuever as it's easy to get baby unstuck without an episiotomy or instrumental delivery. Other than that just getting your own fears and anxiety under control will make a huge difference as adrenaline (the fear hormone) can halt oxytocin roduction and cause all sorts of issues during birth. Hynpotherapy is great for that (as well a
s pain management) as is talking therapy. Hiring a doula for extra support can be great too.

You wouldn't necessarily be classed as high risk and you can decline consultant led care if you want (I would personally as you had a healthy pregnancy). You probably could ask for an elective section, but so many women say their births after a traumatic one were incredibly empowering and healing. Have you ever read the blog Birth Without Fear? If not, look it up. I think she had like 3 reallytraumatic c-sections and then went on to have some amazing natural births. You might find it resonates with you somehow.

 

[kbwebb]

Thanks :}
It really upset me if I'm honest, I wanted a natural water birth and although I prepared myself for things to go wrong, I didn't expect so many things to happen. I know that the induced me because of her pooing inside me, but I was contracting well on my own and they induced me that fast I had no break inbetween
I'll take a look at that blog

 

[Eleanor ace]

Definitely! I had some bad aspects to my labour (induction, he pooped so I had to have constant monitoring which nixed my plans for an active water birth which I really wanted as he was back to bac, and I got a 3rd/4th degree tear) although overall I loved it.
My second pregnancy was considered high risk due to the tearing so I was under consultant care but I still saw my midwife. I was offered a section but opted for a vaginal delivery which went great! I had a non induced water birth and only a teeny tear which didn't have to be stitched . Hoping the same for you!

 

[dizzy65]

My first labor and delievery was horrible he was transverse but my second was very fast and a lot better and he came out properly i think each time is going to be a differant experiance

 

[shinona]

I had a traumatic time first time around with foreceps delivery in theatre and narrowly avoiding a section. This was after about 45 hours in labour and pushing for over 3 hours. I cried everytime i thought about it for months.
My second birth was 10 hours start to finish. I had only gas and air. She popped out in 3 pushes and caught the midwife off guard it was so fast. I would have done it again next day if i had to and quite happily. It was amazing xx

 

[tristansmum]

Yes. I had induced first labour for obstetric cholestasis. Pushed for 2+ hours and nothing. Taken to theatre for forceps delivery but they couldn't get him out so had emcs.

This time went into labour naturally. 4cm-10cm in 2 hours on gas& air. Pushed him out mysrlf!

 

[rubberducky88]

I had a shoulder dystopia birth on my first Hun which led to him being in neonatal and needing specialist treatment. Thankfully, he's perfect now.

I'm 21 weeks on my 2nd and purely under consultant led care, so water etc is out of the question, I want a natural birth but have advised them & warned them I want to be as active as possible as my midwife on Noah wouldn't let me move even though I was begging to go on all fours & I think that contributed to the SD.
They said this is fine and if I'm on monitors I'm allowed to be as active as I want within the confines of them.

It's made me really determined to do this again and not opt for a c-section xxx

 

[aliss]

Hi KWebb,

I'll share my story because my 1st also had severe shoulder dystocia with collarbone break (and of course all the destruction to my vagina that comes along with that!)

Yes, you will be a high risk again, just like I was. But you know what? I had a planned home birth (ended in hospital transfer for long labour) and a very mild dystocia without even a simple tear, and walked out 3 hours later to go home

IMO I think this probably started with the induction to begin with (which puts extra stress on baby, meconium, which puts baby in a bad position for dystocia, and of course the tearing/subsequent bleeding). It's like dominos, right/.??

I had a perfect natural birth after but I refused induction on all grounds (I went to 42 weeks) and I stayed home to avoid any induction/meds (I had pitocin, morphine, epidural with #1 and zero anything with #2).

So yes, it is possible to have an amazing healthy birth after. That being said, you will be offered a C-section next time too. Both of my pregnancies are perfect, what happened to you (and me) was a result of labour, not pregnancy. The choice is yours. You have lots of time to think! but it's a hard choice. Neither choice is wrong.

 

[XJessicaX]

My first baby was stuck back to back. Labour was 22 hours. Ended up being rushed to theatre due to her going into distress, spinal block in, I was cut down to my anus and my daughter was pulled out. If she hadn't come out then it would have been a c-section.

My 2nd labour couldnt have been more different! I was induced a week late and I spent the majority of labour eating Pringles and reading magazines! Completely bearable contractions up until the last few which were hideous! On paper down as 40 minutes. Used a bit of G&A and DD2 shot out! Tiny labial tear!

 

[hokiemom]

I am also hoping for a VERY different 2nd birth so I'm happy to hear many stories of that happening for others With my first I was in labor for 24 hours and pushed for 4 hours and ended up having the help of forceps to delivery ds. I had horrible tears so had lots of stitches and it took a long time to heal. I'm doing hypnobabies this time around and I'm determined to have a natural birth this time around. We'll see what happens.

 

[aliss]

I am also hoping for a VERY different 2nd birth so I'm happy to hear many stories of that happening for others With my first I was in labor for 24 hours and pushed for 4 hours and ended up having the help of forceps to delivery ds. I had horrible tears so had lots of stitches and it took a long time to heal. I'm doing hypnobabies this time around and I'm determined to have a natural birth this time around. We'll see what happens.

Aw big hugs. I also pushed 4 hours with the 1st.I admit it was 2 hours with the 2nd but I didn't even tear. Do you struggle with transition??? My midwife said that my babies were badly positioned and that I "fought" transition rather than getting through it... you can do this!

 

[hokiemom]

I am also hoping for a VERY different 2nd birth so I'm happy to hear many stories of that happening for others With my first I was in labor for 24 hours and pushed for 4 hours and ended up having the help of forceps to delivery ds. I had horrible tears so had lots of stitches and it took a long time to heal. I'm doing hypnobabies this time around and I'm determined to have a natural birth this time around. We'll see what happens.

Aw big hugs. I also pushed 4 hours with the 1st.I admit it was 2 hours with the 2nd but I didn't even tear. Do you struggle with transition??? My midwife said that my babies were badly positioned and that I "fought" transition rather than getting through it... you can do this!

It did take a very long time to even get to 10 cm. I went into the hospital after being in labor for almost a day with contractions that were 3 minutes apart and I was still 0 cm. So maybe I actually just had more trouble dilating in general. I was also told that he was sitting behind my pelvic bone and that's why he wasn't dropping down. Of course after being in labor for 36 hours with contractions 3 minutes apart, I basically begged for the epidural In the end, I'm glad I got it because I got to sleep for a couple hours which I hadn't done in days and I do think that rest gave me the strength to push for that many hours.

What do you mean you "fought" transition"? I'm looking for all the advise I can get this time around to make it a different experience.

 

[aliss]

You might have had teh epidural by then (I did with the 1st) and basically you just "give up" in general. I mean who wouldn't.... such long labours are just too exhausting. I 'gave up' in my 1st labour and didn't do anything active to help it along (I also get the epi and slept). With my 2nd, it was unmedicated, but I burned out at 10cm and it just dragged on and on and then I just refused to continue at transition (the point between 10cm and pushing -> I didn't know about it the 1st time as I had the epi but the 2nd time, it's basically like a watermelon stuck and you aren't ready to relieve it).

 

[louloubabs]

I too had a horrendous first labour and birthing experience but it was this that made me so adament that the second time was going to be soooo different.

I opted for a home birth and refused any induction or intervention even at 12 days overdue. It paid off as I had a 4 hour labour from first contraction to him being born (compared to 27 hours with my first), no stitches (3rd degree tear with first) and my second was 9lb 13.5oz!! (first was 7lb 6.5oz).

I am also a certified Doula now as my differing experiences made me realise I wanted to help others to obtain the birth they wanted and that it was possible. Feel free to message me hun if you want to I'm always happy to help wherever I can.

XxX

 

[hokiemom]

You might have had teh epidural by then (I did with the 1st) and basically you just "give up" in general. I mean who wouldn't.... such long labours are just too exhausting. I 'gave up' in my 1st labour and didn't do anything active to help it along (I also get the epi and slept). With my 2nd, it was unmedicated, but I burned out at 10cm and it just dragged on and on and then I just refused to continue at transition (the point between 10cm and pushing -> I didn't know about it the 1st time as I had the epi but the 2nd time, it's basically like a watermelon stuck and you aren't ready to relieve it).

I definitely had the epidural by then I got it around 4 cm so from that point on I was basically in the bed on my back. I tried a few different methods of pushing (but you a somewhat limited when you can't feel your legs). So what kind of things are you supposed to do between 10 cm and pushing? I'm sure sleeping (like I was trying to do) is NOT suggested

 

[aliss]

You might have had teh epidural by then (I did with the 1st) and basically you just "give up" in general. I mean who wouldn't.... such long labours are just too exhausting. I 'gave up' in my 1st labour and didn't do anything active to help it along (I also get the epi and slept). With my 2nd, it was unmedicated, but I burned out at 10cm and it just dragged on and on and then I just refused to continue at transition (the point between 10cm and pushing -> I didn't know about it the 1st time as I had the epi but the 2nd time, it's basically like a watermelon stuck and you aren't ready to relieve it).

I definitely had the epidural by then I got it around 4 cm so from that point on I was basically in the bed on my back. I tried a few different methods of pushing (but you a somewhat limited when you can't feel your legs). So what kind of things are you supposed to do between 10 cm and pushing? I'm sure sleeping (like I was trying to do) is NOT suggested

Hehe I got mine at 4cm too! You're supposed to waddle/walk/sway/move the hips around.

 

[kbwebb]

I love reading all your replies and seeing that 'normal' births are possible. Although I honestly don't think I'd even consider it all again for quite a long time, its nice to know what may happen to me if I did decide to have more. I don't know if any of you can relate but I find it very hard to come to terms with what happened, I'm constantly thinking about it in the back of my mind, and although I spent the whole time with my eyes closed (to block out the pain) the parts I do remember/saw really upset me. I can't look at pregnant people/ people with babies/ both in real life or on tv without crying.

 

[hokiemom]

You might have had teh epidural by then (I did with the 1st) and basically you just "give up" in general. I mean who wouldn't.... such long labours are just too exhausting. I 'gave up' in my 1st labour and didn't do anything active to help it along (I also get the epi and slept). With my 2nd, it was unmedicated, but I burned out at 10cm and it just dragged on and on and then I just refused to continue at transition (the point between 10cm and pushing -> I didn't know about it the 1st time as I had the epi but the 2nd time, it's basically like a watermelon stuck and you aren't ready to relieve it).

I definitely had the epidural by then I got it around 4 cm so from that point on I was basically in the bed on my back. I tried a few different methods of pushing (but you a somewhat limited when you can't feel your legs). So what kind of things are you supposed to do between 10 cm and pushing? I'm sure sleeping (like I was trying to do) is NOT suggested

Hehe I got mine at 4cm too! You're supposed to waddle/walk/sway/move the hips around.

Alrighty...you learn something new everyday lol. That's why I NEED a natural birth this time around. You can't waddle/walk/sway/move hips when with an epidural I expressed my concerns to my doctor and told him I was more nervous this time than last and he said he would be shocked if I experienced anything worse than I did last time. I'm starting to think positive thoughts already so I'm totally prepped to have a good labor in 12ish weeks

 

[hokiemom]

You might have had teh epidural by then (I did with the 1st) and basically you just "give up" in general. I mean who wouldn't.... such long labours are just too exhausting. I 'gave up' in my 1st labour and didn't do anything active to help it along (I also get the epi and slept). With my 2nd, it was unmedicated, but I burned out at 10cm and it just dragged on and on and then I just refused to continue at transition (the point between 10cm and pushing -> I didn't know about it the 1st time as I had the epi but the 2nd time, it's basically like a watermelon stuck and you aren't ready to relieve it).

I definitely had the epidural by then I got it around 4 cm so from that point on I was basically in the bed on my back. I tried a few different methods of pushing (but you a somewhat limited when you can't feel your legs). So what kind of things are you supposed to do between 10 cm and pushing? I'm sure sleeping (like I was trying to do) is NOT suggested

Hehe I got mine at 4cm too! You're supposed to waddle/walk/sway/move the hips around.

I love reading all your replies and seeing that 'normal' births are possible. Although I honestly don't think I'd even consider it all again for quite a long time, its nice to know what may happen to me if I did decide to have more. I don't know if any of you can relate but I find it very hard to come to terms with what happened, I'm constantly thinking about it in the back of my mind, and although I spent the whole time with my eyes closed (to block out the pain) the parts I do remember/saw really upset me. I can't look at pregnant people/ people with babies/ both in real life or on tv without crying.

A few minutes after ds was born, I told the doctor that I don't think I'll be doing this again anytime soon lol. My Mom always told me that you quickly forget any pain associated with giving birth once you get to hold your baby....uh, no Mom, you were WRONG!!! It's been over 2 1/2 years and I still remember fairly vividly what was associated with my birth. Sure the feelings have faded a bit, but not enough lol.

Also, I find myself wanting to smack people who tell me they barely made it to the hospital, pushed 3 times and had a baby