bad genes and wanting to conceive

[Zelli]

I've been searching for a forum to ask this question, and I'm hoping I found a suitable one..

I've come to the realization that I want to have a baby. I thought I wanted to adopt, but the more I think about it, the more I want to have my own flesh and blood..
What bothers me is the health of my husband and myself. I suffer with thyroid problems (which are highly hereditary), anxiety, and mild depression, and my husband used to have epilepsy and asthma when he was very young, and also suffers from mild depression. the fact that I get horrible breakouts and he has sensitive dandruff prone skin doesnt make things much better either (lol we sound like a winning pair XP).
Now, I don't want to have a child and pass on these traits.. especially the thyroid and depression issues.. i wouldnt wish them on anyone.

would it be selfish of me to want to try and conceive anyways, despite these issues?

Your opinion and honesty is appreciated

 

[toffee87]

I also have depression and worry a LOT that it would pass on, but I think if you bring your children up healthily then they should be fine. Often there is a trigger-the pill screwed me up. And as long as they are open about the way they feel and feel comfortable talking to people, they should be able to solve many problems.

 

[Webbykinskt]

Have you spoken to your doctor about trying for a LO? I think they could give you a better idea than anyone else on here (unless we have some doctors on here?)

 

[Zelli]

Have you spoken to your doctor about trying for a LO? I think they could give you a better idea than anyone else on here (unless we have some doctors on here?)

excuse my ignorance, but what is an LO?

but yes, I suppose your right about talking to a doctor. I suppose Im just looking to see if anyone feels its immoral to conceive when your child could have traits passed down that are less than desirable, or harmful.

 

[Dream.A.Dream]

LO= Little One aka baby.

I think that Broody gave you some good advice. Although as Webbykinskt said, best person to ask is a doctor.

In my opinion, i have suffered with depression in the past, but i wouldn't decide to not have children because of it xx

 

[MissyMojo]

i have a form of cerebal palsy and depression and i have toyed with do i or dont I, my depression was bereavement linked, and the cerebal palsy is 50-50 chance of me passing it on , i think its down to whether u can show your child unconditional love and if they happen to have simialr problems ur there to guide themm through it xxx

 

[cookie25]

I am adopted myself and think it's the best thing that ever happened to me. My adoptive father had manic depression and my mother has a lot of illnesses, related to her genetics - so I am very glad that I was adopted as none of the problems were passed down. So I can see it from both sides. I would also worry in a similar situation but I know I'd want to try for my own LO. Having said that, if we are not able to conceive I wouldn't hesitate to go down the adoption line as like i said - best thing that's happened to me.
xx

 

[cookie25]

P.S you also have to think that there's no control over the genes of the baby you adopt so they could have issues of their own

 

[toffee87]

One thing you have to realise is that most people get depression at some point in their lives. Providing they are aware of the treatments and ways to improve, they should be fine.

 

[jen1604]

You have to think,pretty much everyone has one problem or another but most people still choose to have kids
We've got lots of health issues in this house (mental and physical) but it would never have put me off having kids.xx

 

[Lou]

Hey!

I just wanted to say that it is NOT selfish of you in the slightest. Wanting to conceive a baby is the most natural thing in the world for a woman and no one should have the right to ever take that away from you. Like the other ladies said, lots of people have problems, but so long as you love your LO unconditionally I'm sure that he/she would be fine. Also, Im sure I read somewhere that the genes that make up your baby skip a generation, so your baby will be carrying the genes of your parents, you = your grandparents, your parents = your great grandparents.

I could be very very very wrong, but its worth a thought and a bit of research? If I get chance later whilst revising, I'll will have a look for you and repost if i am wrong or right...

But seriously hunny, don't ever feel that conceiving your own baby is a selfish thing to do.

xxxx

 

[Rebaby]

I don't think it is immoral of you to want to try for your own baby at all

No one is perfect, and if you can give a child a good life and lots of love then how can that be wrong? That's how i feel about it anyway, you have to do whatever feels right for you.