Bad reaction from ttc friend :(

[confuzion]

Glad you two worked things out

Even though it didn't take THAT long for us to conceive in comparison with a lot of other people (6-7 months in between which we had a loss). It still hurt me finding out others were pregnant, so I like to remind myself of that when speaking to other friends.

I guess it's more difficult for you because you haven't really been in that situation and don't really know how to approach it (though I think you did pretty well). My sister-in-law got pregnant and was due around the same time as me with my loss, and now every time I see her with her big belly I think that's where I would have been. It makes me sad even though I'm already pregnant again.

I don't think her first reaction was a bad one. I think you should be happy that she tried to sound happy for you. She obviously cares about your feelings but can't help her own. Just keep that in mind. Agree with a few others that maybe keep the pregnancy talk to a minimum around her. It's not "pussy-footing", it's just courtesy and consideration. Though I think you've been a good friend thus far. You shouldn't feel bad because she feels bad, but just try not to make her feel worse. I wish you luck.

Congrats on your BFP by the way!

 

[kaylacrouch93]

Im sorry your goiing thru this just give her time she will come around

 

[Krissykat1006]

One of my closest friends has been ttc for 2 years and hasn't reacted very well to my BFP
I told her as wanted her to be one of the first to know, knew it would be hard for her and didn't want her finding out from anyone else.
She said all the right things but wasn't able to hide disappointment from her voice.
I text her this morning to make sure she's ok but she's ignored me.

Really don't know what to do, she's an extremely emotional person at the best of times but surely she should still be happy for her friend?

I know it sounds harsh but I'm not willing to pussy foot around her, she's 40 now and has to understand that I'm 12 years younger so it was gonna happen quicker but still feel awful

She is happy for you, but she is still going to be sad. You have what she has wanted for the last 2 years. Just give her her space for now and let her be sad. You both have to respect the others emotional state right now and I really think a little space will help. She will eventually show you the happiness that you are wanting to feel

 

[Misscalais]

It's hard for the long term TTCers to see everyone else getting pregnant its tough, took 12 months to get this bub and had to watch friend after friend fall pregnant with ease and you can't truly understand how hard it is until its taken you a long time. I'm only 26 and it still took us a long time. ( after expecting it to 'just happen' like it did with our boys.
While I was very happy for all my friends of course, I felt gutted at the same time and it was hard to be overly ecstatic.
Don't be hard on your friend, just leave it be I'm sure she will come around and I'm sure truly deep down she's very, very happy for you.

 

[Ibelieveitwil]

TTC is the hardest thing, my sister fell pregnant after 2 months of trying and had a baby girl all within the worst year for us with ttc, I can understand your friend as I also avoided my sister and conversations about babies and sometimes pretended like she wasn't even pregnant. But my sister understood and knew I was happy but hurt and I just needed time. I think you are being a bit harsh, its not an easy journey to be on!

 

[LittleMum]

I am absolutely chuffed! Looks like us getting pregnant has given her fella the push he needed to really start taking this seriously and they have just booked their first appointment to get the IVF ball rolling!!!! I'm soooooo happy as this is what she's wanted for months.
She's coming over to see me tomorrow and I'm going to make sure all the talk focuses around her exciting news! So happy

 

[Starry Night]

I'm glad the situation is turning around for your friend. Sometimes it takes a baby or pregnancy happening to someone close for a man to get excited about TTC. That happened to me too. I hope IVF works for them.

I think everyone else has said what I could so I won't really add anything. Just another vote to the "be happy for yourself but do show some sensitivity". I haven't had infertility but multiple miscarriages. I had 2 this year so when I found out my brother and his wife were expecting when my second angel would have been due that was the hardest ever. I acted happy for them but after that initial reaction I couldn't talk about it. I cried every day to the point of wanting to throw up. I HATED feeling like that but I couldn't help it. I'm just coming around now. I even bought something for the baby today. That was a huge step for me. And I'm sure your friend will slowly grow more excited for you too.