BBQ Bump rant

[tamithomas]

Hello ladies, it's 3 years this month that my DH and I started TTC. I'm in the 2ww due to test next week on the 29 if AF has not shown on 27/28. My DH went to go see a friend of ours alone that their baby is due in about 7 weeks. I didn't go with him because call me selfish but I don't like being around bumps,primarily accidental bumps which this one is as accidental as they get.

The father of the bump needed some talking to because he was apparently nervous about being a father (gonna give credit to my DH, he's hell of a lot stronger than me because I wouldn't be able to handle a conversation of that sort of a father who doubts themselves meanwhile I'd kill to be a mother) so my DH went to console him. This happened last week. Then, this morning I hear from the father telling my DH "so when is the BBQ?" and my heart sunk to the pit of my stomach, I kept a smile on my face as I don't believe in defamation or fights in front of others. my DH totally forgot about how uncomfortable I feel around that bump and apparently invited them to a BBQ at our place next month which she'll be 4 weeks due last week while he was out with them. So now I'm stuck in a very awkward position next month of having a BFP woman within my compound and it's not me. Talk a woe is me moment lol. I just feel ubber jealous that the first bump under my roof won't be my own.

I won't cancel as I don't believe in backing out of plans but the DH got a swift reminder to never do that again. He's a sweet guy, best I could ever ask for it's just frustrating when men or at least mine is stronger than me when it comes to being around bumps and babies. Hope that night goes by quickly and I won't be shy to tell the mother to shut up if she rambles too much about the baby,after all my house..my rules! lol thanks for listening.

 

[SunUp]

Hey! Sounds like it would be a rough time... my advice (take it or leave it) would be to come up with something to do? Maybe play cards, taboo, something like that, where you all can do something without talking about babies all the time, and not focus on that. Also, you can plan some sort of escape? Say you'd love to have them over for a few hours but then you have a meeting/appointment so it could only be a few hours?

 

[rosebud_01_99]

hi
my advice for what its worth, is to protect yourself, do not care what the other couple will say or think if you cancel, come up with a great excuse of some kind , even always be busy or have places to go when talking to them, but the number one priority in all of this is your sanity not worrying about offending the happy couple who after all have already all the blessings in their life, this attitude has what has got me through 17yrs of this IF hell without cracking up. rosebud

 

[Armywife84]

Personally, I agree with Rosebud. Your feelings come before a pregnant woman's. No one walks on eggshells when it comes to an IF woman's feelings.

If you're uncomfortable with having them in your home, then tell your DH you're going to have to cancel...or move it to their place and fake a sickness.There's no need to sit around feeling miserable, it's your home!!

 

[tamithomas]

Thanks ladies, I ended up by sitting down the couple and laying down the rules flat and I wasn't shy about it that there will be no baby talk at all, no exceptions will be made in the house for them as they are stepping on my turf, not theirs. Basically once they are under our roof, the baby is none existent. They both found it very rude at first but then once I explained to them to whole story they were more understanding afterwards.

 

[lovie]

the way i got through situations like that was to drink lots of yummy alcoholic drinks and talk about my exciting child un friendly holiday plans.

really tho i would have probably cancled and said it was something you dont want passing onto the baby then they will also think you are being kind... im not great at biting my lip in situations im not happy in tho.

good luck