been held hostage!

[sonny]

Ok i am at the end of my tether so looking to release!

Tuesday i dropped boys off to school for 9 then went home,fed tabs up at 9.30 of 4-5 oz and set off to town (15 min walk away) all going smoothly then BAM 12 oclock WAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! as if she is hungry so i go into morrisons baby room which is minging but the only place nearby and i get the bottle out,meds ready,booby juice in a bottle for her meds etc then sit down and start giving it to her only for her to turn her nose up at it etc but still WWWWAAAAHHHHH! (and she has some lungs on her like a 6 month old!) so yeah she is tired so i try getting her off to sleep and everytime i put her in her pram WWWAAAAHHHH! then she is asleep on my shoulder again,put her down WWWAAAAHHHHH! At this point she is at the death scream part and i have been in there an hour! trying to get her to sleep as i know that she can keep that up for hours on end and not conk out so i cant continue doing what i need to get in town.
Anyway eventually after an hour and 10 mins she finally gives in.

Ok that was the other day. then yesterday (sometimes her first nap is around the same time as school run) i think ok ill put her in her sling before she gets tired then she can just sleep there but NO,She isnt having any of it! and i end up in tears trying to get her to sleep knowing we might be late for school but i dont want her screaming at school in front of everyone.

Then today takes the biscuit and im crying as i type as it feels like it is only me who has a baby like this! i have never witnessed other mums with babies that cry like Tabs when they are tired.
Anyway i did the school run and thought ill get to town straight after and i can give tabs her 9.30 feed in town to avoid the midday meltdown which happened on tuesday.
So off i go happily into the boots baby room and i change her nappy, and she has a nice feed of 4 oz and i wind her well no troubles then put her in the pram to continue on and guess what .....she starts the cry which says she is tired! so out i take her and start rocking her etc she falls asleep and i put her in the pram then WAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! This happened 5 times! So at this point im crying my eyes out because i have been in there an hour! fully knowing that i need to get a swimming costume today as it will be my last chance before the weekend and some other need to do stuff. So she is still crying and getting in a tizzy then she is getting hot and sweaty and i can hear her reflux going now so obviously hurting her so she is crying more and more and im crying my heart out (god knows what people outside thought) so then i phone Andy and ask what i should do so he said he would come out of work to me....10 mins later he arrives and takes her from me and sure enough still crying crying crying for another 20 mins................so an hour and a half!!!

I feel like i am being taken hostage each time as i cant do NORMAL stuff! It is such a palava most days and my life revolves around Tabs' sleep/naps
She sleeps quite well at night time but during the day she only has 35 mins tops. She is so alert constantly and she gets bored very easily.
I really dont know what to do

Can i get some advice please and lots of hugs........to top it off i have no family or friends where i live to help or even to give me a break for 10 mins and Andy works and does weight training every night. I cant do anything for myself....straightening my hair only once a week is a treat for me now!!

Could i also ask.......what would everyone else do in those situations? would you let her cry it out?
I hate people thinking badly of me and would hate for her to be crying and me being seen not to be doing anything for her.
i tend not to cos her reflux gets going and it must hurt her more then??

My life revolves around Tabs and i know it should be that she should fit in with the family but i dont know where to start!

Sorry girls feeling very emotional this week which is rare for me usually

 

[Jo]

Oh hunny
you must be exhausted, i don't really have any advice as i have never had baby with reflux
It really sounds like you need some time out though, could hubby miss weight training once in a while, just so you can have some time to yourself? a bath and curl up with a book or something?

 

[bigbelly2]

sonny........BIG HUGE ENORMOUS GIGANTIC HUGS!!!

hun its really difficult i know, im pretty similar with mr t and trying to get stuff fitted in around them seems to be a no go...you are are her mom hun you will know best you just meed to listen to your instinct...it is there and YOUR decision will be the right one, if you think you should nurse her to sleep and be there for an hour thats right, if you think you should let her cry and ride the storm thats right too...

When mr t gets so angry and screams sooo loud i do get embarassed but why do we always think people with think the worst of us? We have ALL been there before at some point, I have to now to get him to go to sleep turn him on his side with a blanket either side of him so he feels really snug with a nightie or tshirt of mine in there too so he can smell me but i just let him carry on, the first time ill try and comfort him by picking him up the second just "sshhhh" quite loud down his hear with my hand quite firmly placed on his chest, third "shhhh" and tbhen unfortunately just vigarously push the pram and turn his musical mobile on to try and drown out the noise for the passers by!! He does stop and weve got down from 45 mons to 25 now before he gives in!!

Sorry if it isnt much help, just be sure of yourself, as for oh does he have to go out every night?? i dont get any help from my oh at all but i know some of the ladies on here their oh are fab..perhaps talk to him or even show him this thread that you have written to see what he says you could do??

h x

 

[Always&4ever]

*huge hugs*

 

[AppleBlossom]

I completely symapthise! I can't go out the house with Grace if I'm on my own because the minute she goes in her pram she cries. As soon as I pick her up she stops. But I can't push the pram and hold her at the same time, plus she's too heavy! Everyone says to me she should cry it out but I get looks off people when she's screaming her head off plus I don't want to listen to her getting frustrated to you!

 

[marley2580]

I know it's embarrassing BUT most people will be looking at you in sympathy - not annoyance. Kaya used to scream when she got tired, all I could do was push the buggy faster - or find some cobble stones

 

[Carolyn]

i'm in the same boat. i always go out with this attitude 'you're fed, dry, warm, cuddled, you'l just have to cry missy!!!' that doesn't last long! what can we do other than keep trying. i had my mum to help yesterday when we went to town...i kept saying to her..no one else's baby's screaming!!!what will people thnk?'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!surely they have to grow out of this, right???????????/

 

[oOKayOo]

if i know they are fed, clean nappy and is just screaming because there tierd , i just let them scream it out. I also have another child and i need to get to school and do other things.
SO i tend to make my routine around her now that she is older. I just have so much to do i have no choice but to let her cry it out.. it lasts for abit but she soon goes to sleep cos i know once i pick her up she will start nodding off. Needs to be able to do it on her own , and now i dont really have a problem she now knows when she screams and screams sometimes i cant always pick her up to rock her to sleep.

I hope it gets better , no advice really apart from try and let her cry it out

 

[Erised]

Now, I haven't got a child so can not fully relate to this subject. But as she seems to quiet down when you're holding her, could you not get a pouch or sling to carry her around in instead of the pram? That way she's being held up against you, and she's likely to stay asleep. Plus you'll have your hands free to still go shopping.

I know that trying on a bathing suit won't be possible, but for your usual shopping/school runs it might be worth giving a try?

--Edit-- Do ignore me, misread your post and mistook 'sling' for 'swing' in your post. Idea has obviously been tried to no avail ... really sorry. Hope you'll find a solution or support!

 

[Whisper]

Now, I haven't got a child so can not fully relate to this subject. But as she seems to quiet down when you're holding her, could you not get a pouch or sling to carry her around in instead of the pram? That way she's being held up against you, and she's likely to stay asleep. Plus you'll have your hands free to still go shopping.

I was just going to suggest this, do you give her a dummy?
You could also try swaddling her then giving her a cuddle and putting her into the pram/cot swaddled so she still feels snug and warm?

Another thing during the day when you are at home could you bring the pram into the house and put her in it for naps or just some play time? It might help for her to get more used to it?

I really hope things start to improve for you soon, it must be really tough to deal with...big hugs....

 

[Amanda]

Aww hunnie. Big .

Do you use a dummy? I've read somewhere that dummy's help with reflux, and she may just be a sucky baby.

Hope things ease off soon for you.

 

[xarlenex]

I would try the dummy like others said, and I know you said she cried in the sling, so how about an actual baby carrier, might let her drift off to sleep easier and you get the shopping you need to get.

As for OH, dont mean to sound cheeky,but its sounds like he has to realise that your little girl is his too, he needs to give you some time. Why not send him your regular bread milk shoppin after work with Tabitha? Even an hour to ourselves can sometimes be fantastic xx

 

[lady3]

Big hugs to you! Marlowe is similar to this and will cry when she's trying to get to sleep. I usually just hide from people in town until she's calmed down! Not very easy as I live in London. I also just hold her and push the pram, and keep trying to put her in to see if she'll finally sleep. I think I'm going to try one of those pram mobiles that I've seen in mothercare as Marlie loves her cot one. I'm hoping that will lull her to sleep. Let's hope they grow out of this and they don't get stronger and louder as time goes by. Marlie can already nearly kick herself out of the pram!

 

[Vickie]

You are not alone at all. Hannah cries and cries when she gets overly tired. And she rarely sleeps more than 30 minutes at a time during the day unless I'm holding her. The only time I really get to put her down is when she's playing or if I get her into a very deep sleep I'll get a few minutes to get housework etc. done, but most of my day is spent in the rocking chair holding her. It's hard, very very hard and I know how frustrating it can be....but being frustrated doesn't make us bad mothers, it makes us human

PS To add the last time I dared take her shopping with me she threw a fit in a changing room while we were trying to feed her, cried for a good 45 minutes!

 

[sam's mum]

I think all that would have me in tears too - I always feel like I'm rushing around trying to get things done before Sam gets bored/hungry when we're in town... No real advice to add, sorry - except that if Sam is awake when we're out during the day either carrying him around in an upright baby carrier so he can see what's going on (he'll fall asleep in it if he's tired too, but still feels like he's being held), or dangling something over his buggy for him to play with seems to distract him for long enough for me to run around the shops to get a few things before he gets hungry again/grumpy.

Just wanted to send you loads of x x

 

[bev309]

Sorry no advice but lots of I am having a LOT of sleep issues with Jack at them moment too, which involves a LOT of very loud screaming, but at least he sleeps whilst in his pram - it is one of the things that calms him down as long as he is out of the house & moving

 

[acv_17]

 

[sparkswillfly]

Ive just been reading this thread and I this wave of panic just washed over me. I dont think I know what Im getting myself into. Reading what the mums have said about the constant crying for hours and not sleeping for longer than 35 mins! Oh my I really dont have a clue. I cant even cope with my dog and his relentless night time barking he makes me cry. How do you all cope? How do you stay sane?

 

[oOKayOo]

Ive just been reading this thread and I this wave of panic just washed over me. I dont think I know what Im getting myself into. Reading what the mums have said about the constant crying for hours and not sleeping for longer than 35 mins! Oh my I really dont have a clue. I cant even cope with my dog and his relentless night time barking he makes me cry. How do you all cope? How do you stay sane?

Not all babies are like this hun. Alot sleep through out the night and most of the day like mine always have. Just sometimes some babies are little devils at young ages!!