Being intimate post partum

[Lirpa11]

When can we consider DTD after giving birth?

I had a first degree tear at the bottom of my opening and it had stitches. I then had two tears on my labia and opted for no stitches . The side tears have healed as far as I can see, I can still see my stitches at the bottom of my vaginal opening though. I tried looking at the area yesterday but seemed to just stir it up and made it bleed lightly, so I don't think it's ready for intercourse yet.

I've read 2 weeks, 4 weeks, 6 weeks, and just when you are ready. Just wondering how you ladies went? I'm scared of ripping the area again although it's been four weeks Friday. Isn't that long enough?

Also is it best to use a condom, or without a condom? Or does it matter? I heard infection can happen so I want to avoid that...

Thanks

 

[spunky84]

I've heard 6 weeks because of risk of infection or when given the okay by your OB/midwife.

I know there are many that have much earlier and some have waited longer. I, personally, waited until 8-10 weeks after, but that was because I had a c section and was too nervous about my stomach hurting (yes, that much later).

If you think you're ready before 6 weeks, you can always call up your doctor and see if they'll do your post natal exam a little earlier and see if they think it's safe as far as infection risk.

 

[MindUtopia]

Once your lochia has fully stopped and doesn't show any signs of coming back (it can mysteriously reappear even if it's stopped if you push yourself too hard) and once you are healed and feel nice and comfortable down there with no pain or swelling or discomfort. And once you actually have the energy again! I think for me personally this would have definitely been after 6-8 weeks in terms of how I felt physically (bleeding lasted until 4 weeks and then I think there was probably still a bit of tenderness even after that). But we didn't actually have sex again until about 7 months pp, simply because we were both exhausted and we were bedsharing and neither of us could muster the enthusiasm for a romp on the sofa when we could have just gone to bed! But physically, it would have been comfortable well before then. In terms of whether to use a condom or not, it's mostly about are you using other forms of birth control and/or do you want to get pregnant again soon? You are very fertile in initial weeks pp, even if you haven't had a period yet, so I would use a condom if you don't want to get pregnant and you aren't using another form of birth control. Alternatively, if you do want to get pregnant again, it's a great time to try. But in terms of infection, you don't need to worry. There's nothing inherently dirty about having sex in the sense that you won't encounter any bacteria that you haven't already, so there's no added risk of infection assuming you've healed and your lochia has stopped.

 

[Kitteh_Kat]

I had a 3rd degree tear so waited until I was cleared at 6 weeks, but we started doing other things around 2 weeks. Take it slow and listen to your body!

 

[Lirpa11]

Thanks ladies. We haven't done anything with my areas as I don't want to rush it and have tears occur. I'll call and see when my doctor wants to check me over as tomorrow is 4 weeks since the birth. We should nearly be at the safe zone

 

[mum140381]

for me its 3-6 months x

 

[MamaLoCo]

We managed to wait 2 weeks lol but I had to have a C-Section :/

 

[Lirpa11]

Well, we DTD around 6/7 weeks after I got the all clear. We have DTD twice...

The first time I spotted for nearly a week after. It was also quite painful... Not tear wrenching, but not pleasurable at all.

The second time it did not hurt as much, until the end when DH kinda thrust in deeper (sorry TMI). Now it's been over a week and I'm still spotting.

Will the spotting ever stop? Will it ever feel just plain pleasurable again? I'm just over DTD as it doesn't feel nice now any tips???