being pregnant and lazy

[0400772]

Im not saying that if you dont work your lazy, im meaning little things in life .

Some people dont work but then they fulfil there days by doing other things. I have actually been extremely ill throughout my pregnancy so far but i still dont take it as an opportunity to have people do things for me.

Im saying that some people treat pregnancy as an excuse not to do anything for themselves. i.e. fetch me a drink from the kitchen (like my friend does)! Even though she is clearly capable of doing so herself. (this is what i mean by lazy).

And the reason it bugs me so much is that it then becomes a stereotypical thought of a pregnant in the case of my wor place, i.e they see pregnant people as lazy becuase they can use the "im tired" excuse. although the 70 year old man who has been on his feet for 12 hours is expected to shift his ass faster lol (see what i mean). Its the stereotypical image.

Also i didnt say everyone on here was one of these people. ust i have read a few comments where people are pretty much expecting their oh to do everything just becuase there pregnant. if you werent pregnant, would he expect to be treated like your servant?

 

[haze]

I dont know what PGP is but I have SPD (I got it super early in this prgnancy) and that really limits how much I can do in a day. I moan about it alot, because it hurts!

 

[minkymoo]

I dont know what PGP is but I have SPD (I got it super early in this prgnancy) and that really limits how much I can do in a day. I moan about it alot, because it hurts!

Basically the same thing chick x I feel for you.

 

[tootles123]

Good on you girl for carrying on - I respect it a great deal...but I have to say I've struggled and I agree with the girls on here who say each pregnancy is different -

I'm normally manically active - I work as hard as the next person but when I became pregnant it all got too much and for the sake of my baby's health I had to acknowledge slowing down was the only option. It's most definitely not me being lazy.

I had severe morning sickness for the first 5 months, developed anemia and have SPD - my mobility is limited, I'm tired all the time because I'm struggling to get enough iron even on medication and I've only just got back into 'normal' eating.
I'm balancing two part time jobs (both home based so I consider myself lucky) and full time study, alongside training in another area.

I'm finding it all really hard going and I admit I moan alot.
My OH is amazing most of the time and does lots of the lifting based chores...drives me about and cooks so I'm not on my feet too much as this can land me in trouble the next day with shooting pains that stop me walking.

But as much as I moan I also - I'm sure like lots of the ladies on here - let him know how much I appreciate him

I know that no matter how much I did or didn't do I'd still feel guilty that I'm putting too much onto him and my parents..they all know that I hate to ask for help - but sometimes I think I'm stronger for saying when enough is enough.

I'm a part time carer for a family member,

 

[emsie]

if you werent pregnant, would he expect to be treated like your servant?

YEP!

 

[haze]

I dont know what PGP is but I have SPD (I got it super early in this prgnancy) and that really limits how much I can do in a day. I moan about it alot, because it hurts!

Basically the same thing chick x I feel for you.

I just googled it lol.

I agree with others every pregnancy is different, if you can be energetic and active the whole way through then good for you but there are loads of reasons why someone can't work or be more active.

 

[0400772]

No offence hun but you're only 16 weeks, when you are lugging a bigger bump around you might not feel so perky! Some ladies really suffer with pregnancy and illness. The pregnancy itself isn;t an illness but can trigger many illnesses.

I am employed but have been signed off for the last 6 weeks so that has made me become lazy because I have a longer day to fill so I relax in between but if I were still at work I would be commuting for 3 hrs, dealing with scrotes of the universe and trying not to get punched etc. I am bored out of my mind though.

My OH does all of the cooking but he did this before I got pregnant and frankly I'm not a martyr and if I get to put my feet up for a few months and be looked after then great, because I have the next god knows how many years of running myself ragged to do.

Again minky moo i did say i can understand if your ordered to do something but you say your signed off work but does that mean that you will now expect someone to do everything for you, if your hungry they should make you toast etc no. Your oh does all the cooking but he did this before anyway. But if he didnt would you now command him to do so. This is what i mean. Its not about being signed off work etc its just about the attitudes of some people (and i pressume this applies to non pregnant woman) that an excuse occurs so they take full advantage. if you get what i mean lol

 

[super mummy]

if you werent pregnant, would he expect to be treated like your servant?

YEP!

Hahahaha

 

[0400772]

I dont know what PGP is but I have SPD (I got it super early in this prgnancy) and that really limits how much I can do in a day. I moan about it alot, because it hurts!

Basically the same thing chick x I feel for you.

I just googled it lol.

I agree with others every pregnancy is different, if you can be energetic and active the whole way through then good for you but there are loads of reasons why someone can't work or be more active.

again this isnt about working, this is just about the way some people treat others. If you cant work then it will be for a MEDICAL reason. i.e. signed off work. Im talking about how people seem to be demanding of others around them. think people arent understanding what im trying to ask lol

 

[0400772]

if you werent pregnant, would he expect to be treated like your servant?

YEP!

ah honesty lol

 

[Mummy to be x]

I think the "im tired" excuse isn't an excuse a lot of the time. By the time tea time comes around i feel zonked! I went to a party last night for halloween and left early because i was actually tired, It was in no way "an excuse" Carrying a baby beleive it or not is and can be very tiring. Yes a lot of women will cope differently, some may have loads of energy and not be tired at all, others may find it very exhausting. Again just my opinion

 

[minkymoo]

Im not saying that if you dont work your lazy, im meaning little things in life .

Some people dont work but then they fulfil there days by doing other things. I have actually been extremely ill throughout my pregnancy so far but i still dont take it as an opportunity to have people do things for me.

Im saying that some people treat pregnancy as an excuse not to do anything for themselves. i.e. fetch me a drink from the kitchen (like my friend does)! Even though she is clearly capable of doing so herself. (this is what i mean by lazy).

And the reason it bugs me so much is that it then becomes a stereotypical thought of a pregnant in the case of my wor place, i.e they see pregnant people as lazy becuase they can use the "im tired" excuse. although the 70 year old man who has been on his feet for 12 hours is expected to shift his ass faster lol (see what i mean). Its the stereotypical image.

Also i didnt say everyone on here was one of these people. ust i have read a few comments where people are pretty much expecting their oh to do everything just becuase there pregnant. if you werent pregnant, would he expect to be treated like your servant?

Well perhaps you should. We don't all have to be martyrs just so we can say at the end that we did it all ourselves.

Seize the opportunity to use pregnancy as 'an excuse' get some fuss and some rest now and then because otherwise you're going to be going straight into motherhood completely exhausted.

Yes, there are women who perhaps expect their OH's to do it all when they shouldn't but then it's up to their other halves to complain about it.

 

[tootles123]

Just thought I'd add

Be careful about roping all pregnancies together - people have different situations and experience pain differently. I can't know what others feel so I can't ever judge a choice made by someone else to work or not to work through pregnancy...

The pelvic issue I have is serious - I am in sports and if I don't rest and let my OH do things for me I stand to cause permanent damage to my body, possibly leading to me not being able to do the sport I'm in. If i do this I will put everything I have worked towards at risk and our financial security and my OH knows this...

So he doesn't mind going down the stairs to get me a drink because simply climbing the stairs causes me too much pain in the evening...and he doesn't mind carrying my bags because the weight makes just walking unbearable.

 

[super mummy]

I think that me being pregnant and carrying and looking after our child that my oh should help me out... Not that he minds anyway because he is lovely like that, but why cant i sit there with my feet up and say " Get me a glass of water please" ??? He doesnt mind. Especially if iv had a complete shitty day of feeling like crap then yes he should help me... He decided with me that we was having anohter child so there for he should help..

 

[Jenniflower]

No offence hun but you're only 16 weeks, when you are lugging a bigger bump around you might not feel so perky! Some ladies really suffer with pregnancy and illness. The pregnancy itself isn;t an illness but can trigger many illnesses.

I am employed but have been signed off for the last 6 weeks so that has made me become lazy because I have a longer day to fill so I relax in between but if I were still at work I would be commuting for 3 hrs, dealing with scrotes of the universe and trying not to get punched etc. I am bored out of my mind though.

My OH does all of the cooking but he did this before I got pregnant and frankly I'm not a martyr and if I get to put my feet up for a few months and be looked after then great, because I have the next god knows how many years of running myself ragged to do.

Again minky moo i did say i can understand if your ordered to do something but you say your signed off work but does that mean that you will now expect someone to do everything for you, if your hungry they should make you toast etc no. Your oh does all the cooking but he did this before anyway. But if he didnt would you now command him to do so. This is what i mean. Its not about being signed off work etc its just about the attitudes of some people (and i pressume this applies to non pregnant woman) that an excuse occurs so they take full advantage. if you get what i mean lol

Yea... I don't know. I think you start to straddle a fine line between judging though when you start cherry picking who can and who can't be, what you call "lazy". I'm afraid I get looked at like this at work all the time because I have to sit down every once in awhile or I have to ask for help to reach something because I can't strain to get it anymore. My DH always tells me it's just in my head that no one would think those things, but here's proof that people really do judge. You don't know what my circumstances are, just as you don't know what your neighbours might be. If you want to ride your high horse and exclaim to the world what an amazing pregnant woman you that good on you. But don't make the rest of us feel any more lazy or horrible than we already feel because we can't do what we once did.

 

[nicole_]

I dont know what PGP is but I have SPD (I got it super early in this prgnancy) and that really limits how much I can do in a day. I moan about it alot, because it hurts!

Basically the same thing chick x I feel for you.

I just googled it lol.

I agree with others every pregnancy is different, if you can be energetic and active the whole way through then good for you but there are loads of reasons why someone can't work or be more active.

again this isnt about working, this is just about the way some people treat others. If you cant work then it will be for a MEDICAL reason. i.e. signed off work. Im talking about how people seem to be demanding of others around them. think people arent understanding what im trying to ask lol

in my eyes, my bf did this to me, and he doesnt feel the way i do, and my hormones dont always put his feelings first
i love him a lot, even when im not pregnant he gives 110% to keep my happy and smiling and thats why hes perfect for me. im all for independent women and all this malarky, but i do like to be spoiled and feel like the luckiest girl in the world. the fact i never have to ask for anything i want makes it even better

you dont seem to be understanding of how some pregnant woman feel lol!

 

[PixieBelle]

I have to agree with what a lot of the ladies are saying here. I get the points you have raised but the manner in which you've introduced your points and follow up specific relation to a post by someone else who felt bad about being nasty to their OH does make you seem like you are trying to be the martyr, even if that's not your intention.
I am fiercely independent. I have always done things for myself and I hate other people looking after me. As you say, I have two legs so I do it myself. BUT, I have been diagnosed with PGP and SPD. I am not on crutches, needing a belt or in a wheelchair thankfully but I am on reduced working hours so working half day for now and we'll see how I get on. I am constantly exhausted but still try to do my best to help in the house. I still cook and do the dishes and the laundry when I'm up to it.
I'm glad you are still feeling able to do all these things and yes, people using pregnancy as an excuse when they're coping is not fair but posting something basically asking people to out themselves as lazy isn't going to help anyone and if I'd posted some of the very specific references you've made in your comments, I'd be really upset.

 

[alparen]

I'm not working and i have to sit alot due to a short cervix. dr's orders to take it easy. I complain about not being able to get out of the house and i feel completely useless lol. My oh keeps telling me shut it i am making a baby and that is a huge job. But i do feel useless. I am not allowed to do hardly anything and it blows

 

[wiiwidow]

Ah I don't know...I wish I felt like some people do...amazing, top of the world, never felt better, but I don't I really dont't. I feel exhausted all the time, I sleep really badly, I have bad back pain which really limits what I can do, fun stuff or household chores and unfortunately the least painful place for me is either the sofa or bed. However I've not yet been diagnosed with anything so I really do sympathise with those who have been and are struggling with it.

I appreciate what you're saying pregnancy is not an illness, but trust me most people at work or friends or family if they had even half of what I've got, would be off work on sick leave. The back pain, the exhaustion, nausea, dizziness would be enough for them not to come in, I'm sure. So with this in mind I think people are better off knowing how bad it is and therefore potentially sympathising rather than being presented with people who are feeling rubbish but heroically pushing on through and not moaning, as that's why they then think other pregnant women are lazy. I've got a colleague who has had a great pregnancy and has never felt better, and then there's me who although has not had it tough has not had it easy, however most of my peers have been pregnant and are all sympathetic to me and understanding, including the other pregnant colleague. In this respect I consider myself really lucky, I would've felt devastated if they all just thought I was lazy, which I'm sure is sadly all to often the case for other people.

 

[Twinminator]

It's all very well starting threads like this but come on, it's always asking for trouble when you start throwing the words "lazy" around.
I would've thought we'd learned our lesson by now that if your opinion is going to be, or may be misconstrued as, offensive, don't give it until it's asked for..??

I was running a pub with my husband until I was six and a half months pg with my twins, and was head chef - through the christmas season. Yes I felt tired and grumpy, but I didn't appreciate then how lucky I was to have a relatively "easy" pregnancy til this one. In fact my niece who fell pregnant a few months before me was complaining about her sickness, tiredness, aches, etc and inwardly i rolled my eyes (importantly though I kept my thoughts to myself). Now I have had the other end of the spectrum and I know I will never say "This is what it's like to be pregnant" because it's a different beast for everyone.

I know you have a specific idea of the kind of pregnant woman you mean, but live and let live eh? There are plenty worse crimes to commit in this world than taking it easy when you're pregnant if you can get away with it!