nikkiangel83
Mum to a little girl
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- Jul 8, 2008
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It all started on the Saturday night at 40+4. I just couldnt get comfy with Rich in bed so for a few weeks I had been spending the odd night on the sofa bed and this night was no exception. I was woken up every half hour or so with period cramps but didnt take too much notice as I was in denial that I was ever going to actually go into labour by this point. I had spent the last couple of months in SPD agony so period cramps were a breeze compared.
Come Sunday morning, I still felt achy and crampy so I decided to get in the bath to see if it would head things off. Rich and I were getting a bit excited by this point but I still wasnt getting my hopes up. Being in the bath was lovely but I got out so I could watch Hollyoaks (yes, yes, I know!) So Im sitting there in my towel and suddenly I felt a whole lot wetter. I have a feel between my legs and a sniff *blush* and thought that maybe my waters had broken (I had spent the week convinced that my waters had broken several times!!) I stood up and there was no mistaking it! Water trickling down my legs and almost immediately a DEFINITE contraction. Still I was in denial and not too sure if this was it!
I put contraction master on and starting timing. I kept mucking it up and got annoyed but could see that they seemed to be every 10 20 minutes. I needed to get some big, cheap knickers from Asda for the aftermath and decided that now would be a good time. Walking round I had to stop several times and STILL we wasnt 100% sure! I think denial was playing a big part of this! In the shop someone asked me when I was due, I told them last Tuesday and they said oh you must be fed up, and at that moment another contraction came. By this time I think they were a regular 10 minutes apart.
(Noon) I got home and started on contraction master again and by this time I was in AGONY. I couldnt believe how much pain I was in. I called the delivery suite and they said that they would send a midwife round for me to get my home birth under way. As I was in so much agony and my contractions were about very regular I was certain that I was 6-7cms dilated. (14.30) The MW arrived and got me on the bed and had a feel. Oh my goodness that was horrid! Dont know if it hurt as I have a tilted cervix but it was yuck! I was only 2-3cms gone and they dont give pain relief until at LEAST 5 cms. I asked to get in the bath and she said go ahead. I didnt realise that she was going to be hanging around from that moment until the birth. I felt a bit weird about that as I thought she would come to check back when I called again. Anyway, she said she was going to go to the hospital to get the G&A for later.
Contractions were unbearable. MW arrived back and says she thinks it best that I go into hospital as they are very short staffed and as I was in so much pain it would be better for me. My NCT teacher had warned me that they would say this and before that moment I would have put up a fight but I thought I was dying so agreed readily. (16.00) Arrived at the hospital and was put in a room and that was it. Was there in a baking hot room with a window thats was hard to open and felt like I needed to poo. It was hell. I was in and out of the toilet but nothing was happening. The MW at the hospital was so harsh with me and made me feel like a failure. I said I needed pain relief and she tried me on the G&A but I hated it. It made me feel so weird and I was so surprised by that. The MW had no bedside manner and just didnt help me at all. I asked for a bath and she said that the room I was in didnt have one. I was distraught. Luckily, they were able to move me to another room.
I lost track of time by this time but I think I had a bath in my new room about 17.30. She checked me again and I was still less than 3cms. I couldnt believe it. The contractions were every 3 mins and I was ready to give up. Little did I know that it was only getting started. The reason I was in so much agony was because the baby was back to back and was quite comfy! I had said that I was never going to have an epidural but by this time I was begging for one. The blokey put it in at 18.15 and I thought it was going to work straight away but it didnt. It did feel a bit better but not the numbness of bliss that I had heard about. He gave me the top up button and left me to it. I kept pressing the button just in case I was allowed my next dose but nothing seemed to work. By this time, 21.00, a new MW was on and she was amazing. Explained the monitor to me and told me the baby was fine but I was still only 5cm. Everything about her was lovely. Just lovely.
This new room was just as hot as the old one and the fan was attached to the wall behind the bed and just to the side so it wasnt getting me at all. I was so frustrated. I then opted to have some pethidine. My contractions was still painful but the time in between were spaced out nothingness. The pethidine lasted an hour . I couldnt believe it.
A new epidural person was going to come and see me as by this time it was discovered that my epidural had come out. No wonder the top up thing wasnt working. This new doctor explained that the epidural was unlikely to work as I was having a back labour. Why they didnt tell me that in the first place I dont know. There was a small time when there was calm and Rich and I had tea and toast but that all seems like a dream now.
The whole time I was bellowing like a buffalo. You could hear me all over the hospital. The G&A still scared me and I was desperate for a poo. The MW explained that she couldnt feel anything in my rectum when she gave me an internal so it was just the baby pressing down but I didnt believe her. I asked to go to the toilet to poo but she wouldnt let me off the bed because of the epidural. I told her I could feel my legs but it didnt make a difference. I told her I was going to go on the bed then and I asked Rich to go behind the curtain but he just kept laughing at me. Lo and behold .I pooed! I knew I had to poo! MW hadnt been able to put a catheter in for the epidural so I done a good wee too.
When I was 7cms I had overwhelming urges to push. I was now naked and was clambering on and off the bed. Leaning over the back and standing up. Anything to get the baby out. MW told me not to push but I was uncontrollable. Everytime I pushed, more waters and blood come out.
At some time she sent Rich to the car to get the baby clothes and I thought I might be near but I was still only 8cms. At 9 cms she told me that if I was going to push then I was going to do it her way. No bellowing, just all that effort into pushing. I pushed for ages and then she got the second MW in so we were nearly on our way. Honor still hadnt turned. They got a doctor and asked me if I wanted to feel the head as I couldnt believe that I was close. Touching the head was amazing. The doctor said I didnt have long to go so wasnt going to interfere except to help deliver. They held a mirror for me and it really helped me push her that last bit. I had an episiotomy and a small internal tear but finally the head was out and within second I had Honor on my lap. This was 3.20am Monday.
I had one long stitch put in and I asked if we could go home now! They said they wanted me to go on the ward for the day but I compromised and said I was going at lunch time. Honor was feeding well so I wasnt worried about that and I just wanted my creature comforts.
The whole labour I was screaming, begging for it to be over and telling them I was going home so all the normal things!
Sorry it is long!!
Got loads more to say but I think this is enough for now.
Come Sunday morning, I still felt achy and crampy so I decided to get in the bath to see if it would head things off. Rich and I were getting a bit excited by this point but I still wasnt getting my hopes up. Being in the bath was lovely but I got out so I could watch Hollyoaks (yes, yes, I know!) So Im sitting there in my towel and suddenly I felt a whole lot wetter. I have a feel between my legs and a sniff *blush* and thought that maybe my waters had broken (I had spent the week convinced that my waters had broken several times!!) I stood up and there was no mistaking it! Water trickling down my legs and almost immediately a DEFINITE contraction. Still I was in denial and not too sure if this was it!
I put contraction master on and starting timing. I kept mucking it up and got annoyed but could see that they seemed to be every 10 20 minutes. I needed to get some big, cheap knickers from Asda for the aftermath and decided that now would be a good time. Walking round I had to stop several times and STILL we wasnt 100% sure! I think denial was playing a big part of this! In the shop someone asked me when I was due, I told them last Tuesday and they said oh you must be fed up, and at that moment another contraction came. By this time I think they were a regular 10 minutes apart.
(Noon) I got home and started on contraction master again and by this time I was in AGONY. I couldnt believe how much pain I was in. I called the delivery suite and they said that they would send a midwife round for me to get my home birth under way. As I was in so much agony and my contractions were about very regular I was certain that I was 6-7cms dilated. (14.30) The MW arrived and got me on the bed and had a feel. Oh my goodness that was horrid! Dont know if it hurt as I have a tilted cervix but it was yuck! I was only 2-3cms gone and they dont give pain relief until at LEAST 5 cms. I asked to get in the bath and she said go ahead. I didnt realise that she was going to be hanging around from that moment until the birth. I felt a bit weird about that as I thought she would come to check back when I called again. Anyway, she said she was going to go to the hospital to get the G&A for later.
Contractions were unbearable. MW arrived back and says she thinks it best that I go into hospital as they are very short staffed and as I was in so much pain it would be better for me. My NCT teacher had warned me that they would say this and before that moment I would have put up a fight but I thought I was dying so agreed readily. (16.00) Arrived at the hospital and was put in a room and that was it. Was there in a baking hot room with a window thats was hard to open and felt like I needed to poo. It was hell. I was in and out of the toilet but nothing was happening. The MW at the hospital was so harsh with me and made me feel like a failure. I said I needed pain relief and she tried me on the G&A but I hated it. It made me feel so weird and I was so surprised by that. The MW had no bedside manner and just didnt help me at all. I asked for a bath and she said that the room I was in didnt have one. I was distraught. Luckily, they were able to move me to another room.
I lost track of time by this time but I think I had a bath in my new room about 17.30. She checked me again and I was still less than 3cms. I couldnt believe it. The contractions were every 3 mins and I was ready to give up. Little did I know that it was only getting started. The reason I was in so much agony was because the baby was back to back and was quite comfy! I had said that I was never going to have an epidural but by this time I was begging for one. The blokey put it in at 18.15 and I thought it was going to work straight away but it didnt. It did feel a bit better but not the numbness of bliss that I had heard about. He gave me the top up button and left me to it. I kept pressing the button just in case I was allowed my next dose but nothing seemed to work. By this time, 21.00, a new MW was on and she was amazing. Explained the monitor to me and told me the baby was fine but I was still only 5cm. Everything about her was lovely. Just lovely.
This new room was just as hot as the old one and the fan was attached to the wall behind the bed and just to the side so it wasnt getting me at all. I was so frustrated. I then opted to have some pethidine. My contractions was still painful but the time in between were spaced out nothingness. The pethidine lasted an hour . I couldnt believe it.
A new epidural person was going to come and see me as by this time it was discovered that my epidural had come out. No wonder the top up thing wasnt working. This new doctor explained that the epidural was unlikely to work as I was having a back labour. Why they didnt tell me that in the first place I dont know. There was a small time when there was calm and Rich and I had tea and toast but that all seems like a dream now.
The whole time I was bellowing like a buffalo. You could hear me all over the hospital. The G&A still scared me and I was desperate for a poo. The MW explained that she couldnt feel anything in my rectum when she gave me an internal so it was just the baby pressing down but I didnt believe her. I asked to go to the toilet to poo but she wouldnt let me off the bed because of the epidural. I told her I could feel my legs but it didnt make a difference. I told her I was going to go on the bed then and I asked Rich to go behind the curtain but he just kept laughing at me. Lo and behold .I pooed! I knew I had to poo! MW hadnt been able to put a catheter in for the epidural so I done a good wee too.
When I was 7cms I had overwhelming urges to push. I was now naked and was clambering on and off the bed. Leaning over the back and standing up. Anything to get the baby out. MW told me not to push but I was uncontrollable. Everytime I pushed, more waters and blood come out.
At some time she sent Rich to the car to get the baby clothes and I thought I might be near but I was still only 8cms. At 9 cms she told me that if I was going to push then I was going to do it her way. No bellowing, just all that effort into pushing. I pushed for ages and then she got the second MW in so we were nearly on our way. Honor still hadnt turned. They got a doctor and asked me if I wanted to feel the head as I couldnt believe that I was close. Touching the head was amazing. The doctor said I didnt have long to go so wasnt going to interfere except to help deliver. They held a mirror for me and it really helped me push her that last bit. I had an episiotomy and a small internal tear but finally the head was out and within second I had Honor on my lap. This was 3.20am Monday.
I had one long stitch put in and I asked if we could go home now! They said they wanted me to go on the ward for the day but I compromised and said I was going at lunch time. Honor was feeding well so I wasnt worried about that and I just wanted my creature comforts.
The whole labour I was screaming, begging for it to be over and telling them I was going home so all the normal things!
Sorry it is long!!
Got loads more to say but I think this is enough for now.
