bf- feel like a complete and utter failure

Discussion in 'Breastfeeding' started by doumauk, Oct 14, 2008.

  1. doumauk

    doumauk mama to salim,expecting

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    Well I apologize in advance if this doesnt make any sense at all. After having a bad few days with Salim, the health visitor came to do his 3 month check a month early due to us flying to morocco in 3 weeks. Ive been ill for a few days with the cold virus thats going around, not been eating much and just generally feeling down and stressed. Im totally breastfeeding him and up until a few days ago it was going really well.
    He weighed 6lb 15 at birth
    putting on 8-12 oz in a week
    7 week he was 10lb 8 oz and when she weighed him today he has lost 4oz. She said he is hungry and needs topping up with formula after every breastfeed. I feel like such a failure. If i breastfeed him I feel like im starving him and if i bottle feed him I feel like im not doing enough as a mum, this isnt to offend any mums who choose to bottle feed, I have nothing against it what so ever I just really wanted to breastfeed for as long as I can. No one in my immediate family have breastfed and dont really see why I breastfeed so dont understand why im so down about it. Its been playing on my mind all day that I havnt done a good enough job.
    Do you think he has lost that weight because of my lack of eating? What more can I do to make my milk good for him again? I really dont wanna stop feeding him
    Thanks for reading
     
  2. freckleonear

    freckleonear Crunchy mummy

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    Firstly I just wanted to say well done for getting this far. You've given your baby the best start in life. :hug:

    You said that breastfeeding has been going really well for you until now, which makes me think that your little one is not going hungry. He would soon let you know if he was! How often does he feed? How long does he sleep at night? Does he latch on well?

    In my opinion there is no need to top him up with formula after every feed unless YOU (not the health visitor) think he is hungry. Giving formula can actually reduce your milk supply. Perhaps try feeding him more often to increase your milk supply and see if that helps. Make sure you eat and drink plenty of nutritious foods.

    Remember that sometimes weighing can be inaccurate, if the health visitor was using different scales or if your baby had recently had/not had a dirty nappy. So don't panic too much yet, get him weighed again in a week or two before you go away to see what's going on.

    You've done a wonderful job so far, and I'm sure you can get through this. Good luck. :hug:
     
  3. Margerle

    Margerle Well-Known Member

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    Agreed.

    Do not top with formula it'll only cause you to loose supply. If you want to continue bf go with LO's cues. He'll be having a huge growth spurt here in the next 4 weeks or so.

    (at 16 weeks)
    :hug:
     
  4. ryder

    ryder Mum to Jasmine & Peyton

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    Do what you are comfortable with, hun! You know your baby best and he will let you know when he is hungry.

    Topping up with formula will not decrease your supply as long as you continue on with your regular BF... It will decrease though if you cut down your BF.

    The more you BF the better your supply will be, but this only works if you are eating healthy and drinking loads. If you arnt eating or drinking you will not be able to produce enough milk.
     
  5. mylittlebubs

    mylittlebubs Well-Known Member

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    I heard that babies lose some weight in the first couple of months though, so maybe that's why he lost weight.
    I would say you are doing a GREAT job as a mom. You know you baby best and if you BF as much as you can and he's still hungry then top up with formula if you want to. All of this is up to you.
    I used to feel bad when i had to top up my baby with formula in the first few weeks of his life but now i think i done the right thing because he was hungry.
    there's some food that you can eat to help your body producing milk better like papaya, liver, ginger drink or tea ...,. This is what helps me anyway, you might try if you like and i also use hot pack to put on my boobs and warm bath also help
     
  6. shanegem

    shanegem Mother of 2

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    Hi hun
    I think you're doing a wonderful job. As the other ladies have said, if you dont feel he is hungry (snd he will let you know if he is) I would carry on as you are. Personally, I find it very frustrating that health visitors first reaction to anything is to advise topping up, it makes no sense as it will decrease your milk supply. I would go back to basics and have plenty of skin to skin, eats lots of oats (nice excuse for flapjacks!) as oats naturally increase your supply.
    You are doing a wonderful job xxxxx
     
  7. Serene123

    Serene123 Guest

    Don't top up with formula if you don't WANT to. HVs don't know anything. You would know if your LO was starving.

    :hugs:
     
  8. doumauk

    doumauk mama to salim,expecting

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    Thank you all for your replies, im just that tired and rundown now that everything thing upsets me lol. Hormones grrr. He sleeps perfectly through the night having a feed at 11 or 12 and sleeps until 5 or 6. He doesnt need rocked to sleep either I can feed him,burp him and change him then just put him down and hes off. He is most unsettled first thing on a morning and usually from 7-9 on a night. She prescribed colief drops as from what I told her she thinks he has a bit of colic. He feeds every 2-3 hours during the day. She didnt seem too concerned about his 4oz weight loss as he is still maintaining the 25th centile and hasnt lost any before so she said come back in 2 weeks. Im just hoping he hasnt lost anymore. Loads of eating and drinking for me than. Thanks alot for the reassurance.:hug:
     
  9. shanegem

    shanegem Mother of 2

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    He sounds absolutely fine, great even! I wish my LO would sleep from 11pm - 5am!! You're doing great xxx
     
  10. Samantha675

    Samantha675 Maybe baby #3?!?

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    Just wanted to add that you are doing a great job!!!
     
  11. creamcakes

    creamcakes Active Member

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    What a load of rubbish your HV is speaking. It makes me so cross that they are so poorly trained. The other posters are right - don't give your LO formula unless you want to - there is absolutely no need. If for some reason your supply is slightly down, regular feeding on demand will bring it back up again. You could also try fenugreek capsules from holland and barrett (3, 3 times a day) to help boost supply. They can be really effective and you can stop them when you feel there is no longer any need. They can make you smell a bit odd though, just a warning...>! Lucy
     
  12. jenstar

    jenstar Well-Known Member

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    If you do think you need to "top-up" the lactation consultant advised me to give the formula bottles as a separate feed and not straight after, the reason was that babies are clever and if he always gets a bottle after a breastfeed he will soon catch on that there is no need to work hard at getting milk from the breast seeing as he can get it the lazy way straight after! I did lapse into giving my baby his bottle at the same time and I think it is true for my baby, so I stopped.

    Just a warning if you do decide to give him a bottle as well.
     

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