BFers, do you?

[XKatX]

Oh hun, that sounds crap. But I understand why you need to go (I know you don't actually want to!!).
Like Lisa said, you need to organise somewhere for you to go and do it. I did this recently when we went to a colleagues of my DH whom I don't know. I was really worried about it and it was really stressing me out. By they were so good and I just popped into one of their rooms and fed in peace.
Hope you manage to get something sorted babes x x

 

[ryder]

I've told him, showed him, everything. He was here the first 3 weeks of her life and slept all day everyday!

Tell him he is no longer welcome to come over then, until he changes.

 

[Novbaby08]

I've told him, showed him, everything. He was here the first 3 weeks of her life and slept all day everyday!

Tell him he is no longer welcome to come over then, until he changes.

I couldn't agree more, if he isn't helping you he's wasting your time. As much as I resent Harley's dad, I'd rather it this way then him come over and sit on his ass all day. Babies are good at monopolizing time as it is, it doesn't help you if he's over there doing nothing.

 

[Samantha675]

Hun, you are just going to have to grit your teeth and get through the day. Ignore them as much as you can, and just excuse yourself to another room to feed her. I don't blame you for not leaving her with him, knowing your situation, I wouldn't leave her either.

 

[Mervs Mum]

He just doesn't try with her. He makes sad faces at her when she cries and waits for it to get so bad I can't listen to it anymore and take her

Tell him to grow the hell up and make an effort, or dont bother coming over. Guys are lazy and if you dont kick their butt into action then sometimes they never try.

And in my sad experience over the past few years with my eldest's dad, some men can have their butts, heads and anything else kicked and still not frame themselves unfortunately

 

[dannyboygirl]

Hey Tori Here's my input ladybug,

If his family doesn't like you for no reason I wouldn't go over there I don't care if thats his family or not...They can come over your house where u feel more comfortable or meet somewhere neutral. My personal opinion alot may not agree with is "nope".I don't take my child anywhere I don't feel comfortable..Yes she is a part of him but you are the main source and the mother..If you feel anxiety the baby will too..So either decision is right because only you know what's best for your child..Its gonna be hard to feed the child when you are feeling uneasy there too..Being a mother you make hard decisions sometimes that everyone else doesn't agree with but hey they never know the whole situation..Trust me if they really want to see em they will come over..Im dealing with a similar situation now I can't please everyone only my baby..You don't want to be around all that fakeness anyway..Good Luck GirlI hope it does go well if u do decide to go..

 

[Serene123]

They won't come here. They're so selfish. I have to go. I'm sure I can make him sort something with the whole feeding situation. If I tell him I can't go he'll go mad. It has happened before and he was so, so horrible!

 

[Novbaby08]

They won't come here. They're so selfish. I have to go. I'm sure I can make him sort something with the whole feeding situation. If I tell him I can't go he'll go mad. It has happened before and he was so, so horrible!

Too bad for him. He sounds like a dickhead! If he can't respect you and your feelings why respect his. Who cares if he's mad, your the one who should be mad. Its not like he's any use to you.

 

[Serene123]

I can't have him being nasty again. When he's nasty he brings Caitlyn into it and how I decided to keep her blah blah, and it just upsets me so much it's not worth it

 

[Novbaby08]

I can't have him being nasty again. When he's nasty he brings Caitlyn into it and how I decided to keep her blah blah, and it just upsets me so much it's not worth it

What a shit. Theres nothing wrong with you keeping her. If I were you I would be pissed. Who the hell does he think he is! What a worthless shithead, you don't deserve to be treated like that. If he doesn't like that you kept her he doesn't need to see her, you'd be doing him a favor if he's so resentful. What a loser.

 

[sam#3]

Oh hun i feel so sorry for you, my sister is in the exact same situation as you at the mo and its shit, her ex is a waste of space and so are his family but she has to bite her tongue and just go along to stuff, otherwise she just gets abuse from him for days after.
I hope its not too bad for you hun xx

 

[Mervs Mum]

You sound just like I used to be with Emily's dad. It took me about 10 yrs to realise I'd made a rod for my own back. He's an arse by the sound of it but you rise above him for your LO - thats admirable.

 

[ryder]

I can't have him being nasty again. When he's nasty he brings Caitlyn into it and how I decided to keep her blah blah, and it just upsets me so much it's not worth it

What a shit. Theres nothing wrong with you keeping her. If I were you I would be pissed. Who the hell does he think he is! What a worthless shithead, you don't deserve to be treated like that. If he doesn't like that you kept her he doesn't need to see her, you'd be doing him a favor if he's so resentful. What a loser.

Totally agree!

Wow Toria, reading that makes me even more sure that you should tell Rich to effen take a hike. Especially if he still brings it up that you "decided" to keep her!

Why do you take that shit from him?

 

[Serene123]

No choice?

 

[Mervs Mum]

It's really easy to say what you'd do when its not you. I dont think its terribly helpful to point out where you think someone is going wrong, when they feel they dont have any option. I know I'd just feel worse...

 

[Serene123]

No, no, they are right, it's fine! I wish I could get out of it and I would have but it's Christmas.

 

[Novbaby08]

All the more reason to get out of it! Christmas is suppose to be fun, and your suppose to spend it with the people who love you. LOL send pictures to them. Why should this loser who is completely useless to you get his way?

 

[marley2580]

I think that you are doing the right thing tbh, Caitlyn has a right to know all her family and you are being the bigger person for rising above it all. I think that Caitlyn will thank you for it. It is hard to rise above it and be the bigger person, particularly when they are being nasty, I do think though that you are going to have to make her dad take her to these things so that you don't have to go. I know he's hopeless but if you're not there to take her he'll either have to cope or bring her back early. If you're not ready for that fair enough, but next year maybe it would be easier that way.

 

[Mervs Mum]

Oh well if they're right then what the frig are you doing??!!! I spent far to much of my DD's life following round hoping to maintain her relationship with her Dad - dont waste your time Toria. He sounds just like him - a wanker who's unlikely to change.

 

[ryder]

It's really easy to say what you'd do when its not you. I dont think its terribly helpful to point out where you think someone is going wrong, when they feel they dont have any option. I know I'd just feel worse...

True.. But if Rich has said and still says stuff about Toria deciding to keep the baby ( I assume he was suggesting she abort or give up for adoption before?) Why should she put up with that... Especially when its obvious he continues to do nothing??

Saying stuff like that when things dont go his way is to me just cruel. Saying it at ALL is cruel and if he cared about them, I dont know how he could say something like that. In fact I would say that is abusive.

Personally I think he is assuming that just being there every once in awhile is enough and his way of getting out of paying child support.

It might be easy for me to point stuff out,, but I also dont take shit from people and I wouldnt put up with it.