BFP with a 11 month old- not sure how I feel (no judgement please)

[Ginagg]

Hi ladies,

I've just found out I'm around 4 weeks pregnant! I already have a 11 month old son and I love being his mum - love kids infant and have always known I wanted one more just not this soon. My partner works away from home but comes home every weekend.
I'm due to start an access course next September and have no intention of putting that off.

I know I'm going to have our baby and I wouldn't want it any other way but I'm just worried that I don't feel happy that I'm pregnant- If I'm honest I'm not sure how I feel. I'm worried about how I will cope if I will at all?

Has anyone got this age gap with a similar home set up as I do? am I putting to much pressure on myself with the studying (I did course as well as working the whole way through my last pregnancy)

Sorry about the life story- and congratulations on all of your pregnancies.

Gina
Xoxo

 

[Bexivillian]

Honestly i think its normal to feel like this. I do and my daughter is 3. Its a big adjustment to your life, but i really doubt there isn't a pregnant lady that hasn't had doubts at least once

 

[Eternal]

Mine was a shock too, I have a nearly 4 year old who has suspected autism and ADHD and twins who are nearly 2, we had thought about another but a little further down the road, as it is I'll have 4 children under school age. Still we were happy and as home has gone on we have been happier and happier and convinced it will work i perfectly with out family, but my first reaction when two lines appeared was "oh crap" lol.

 

[Ginagg]

Thank you for your reply- I guess it's just different from your first. Everyone says that your first is always exciting. I'm just feeling guilty that I'm not bursting with excitement.

I guess this will come

Xox

 

[Ginagg]

Mine was a shock too, I have a nearly 4 year old who has suspected autism and ADHD and twins who are nearly 2, we had thought about another but a little further down the road, as it is I'll have 4 children under school age. Still we were happy and as home has gone on we have been happier and happier and convinced it will work i perfectly with out family, but my first reaction when two lines appeared was "oh crap" lol.

Yeh my test went straight in the bin followed by a lot of tears haha

 

[LittleAngel09]

Hi

I had the same feelings when I fell pregnant with my son in June 2011. At the time my daughter was only 9 months old and I'd just signed up to train in my new career.

The whole way through I felt like I wasn't ready and I wanted to be able to have the baby but in a few years time.

It all worked out in the end, just take it one step at a time. New baby will fit in just fine to your lives.

Xx

 

[Jo.t]

Me ! My LO is 10m & I got my BFP 2 days ago - shocked is an understatement !

I have also started a health science degree with the open university & the exams clash with my due date !

I am still getting my head around things !

 

[Mrs HM]

Thank you for your reply- I guess it's just different from your first. Everyone says that your first is always exciting. I'm just feeling guilty that I'm not bursting with excitement.

I guess this will come

Xox

^^^This is totally true. We had planned this pregnancy but it happened really quickly so I felt really unprepared and a bit shocked. My age gap is bigger than yours will be, but I've had the 'will I cope/how will we manage/what are we doing' thoughts too. I think it's completely normal to think these things as having a baby, no matter what number or age gap, is a huge life changing event and surely it would be strange if we didn't think these things?!

 

[Nikki_lou]

Im going to have about the same age gap as you as my little boy is 11 months old. although this one was planned i still have worries, im no where near as excited as i was when i found out i was pregnant last time which i feel really bad about and i also worry that my son wont understand and feel left out. My partner works full time and i have just gone back part time but we are now having to move to a bigger house which means more bills and we are not even sure if i can afford the childcare to go back to work after this baby (ive just got used to leaving him and look forward to having me time for the 2 days i work)
i know its not going to be easy at first but Im sure that the babies will fit into our lives, my mum said to me (when i had a bit of a freak out) that she found there is never the perfect time to have children and there will always be different challenges but you cope and things will work themselves out.

 

[o0oCharlieo0o]

Its completely normal to worry hun, although this pregnancy of mine was planned i have an 18 month old, a 4 year old, a 7 year old and a 4 year old step son, and as much as i planned this baby when them two little lines come up the dawn of realisation hit me that omg im going to find this hard!! But I'm still excited and as much as yes it will be hard we all learn to adjust to new situations xx

 

[amaryllis]

I'm only on my first pregnancy, but when I found out I had a bit of an emotional breakdown! I was a mess of tears and panic and I didn't feel good about it at all.

It's OKAY to not be happy! It's not ungrateful or horrible. You already have a bub you're caring for and you're worried about providing for two little ones.

I know lots of women that weren't jazzed about being pregnant. Most tend to grow to love their new one, getting used to the idea as time goes on. It's okay to have mixed emotions. It's the media and popular imagination that thinks that women, when pregnant, are supposed to be these glowing-faced, beneficent beings of light and love who cope beautifully with all that nature throws at them.

I don't have much to say about your specific situation, but I sort of read into your words that you are worried you're not jumping handsprings, and are worried other people will think badly of you for it? Maybe I got it wrong, not sure.

Just wanted to reassure you that it's normal and fine to be feeling what you're feeling.

 

[twokiddos]

I agree with PPers here. It is totally normal to be worried about whether you can juggle everything going on in your life. We planned this pregnancy as well but didn't think it would happen so quickly. My boys are 7 years, 4 years and 8 months with a new little bundle due in June. With each pregnancy, there was always a hint of doubt as to whether I'd survive this one LOL. In the end, I wouldn't change it for the world! I know that's how it'll be this time. Give yourself some time to adjust. You have a full 9 months to get used to this new adventure. Don't beat yourself up for feeling this way... plenty of moms feel the same. They just don't always talk about it.

 

[Leids]

Definitely normal! I still have days where I just go 'ergh what have I gotten myself into?' I found out I was pregnant when my LO was 15 months and I wasn't prepared for it at all. I had a panic attack when I saw those 2 lines and just bawled for about 30 minutes!

I'm getting more used to the idea, but I'm definitely nowhere near as excited as I was with my first pregnancy which bums me out. I feel guilty for taking time and attention away from my son, and then I feel guilty for not thinking more about providing the next baby with love.

Hopefully when we start to feel movement we'll become more attached.

 

[jenmcn1]

Its a normal way to feel-when your pregnancy wasn't necessarily planned. To be honest I have felt the same way about my pregnancy. - have 2 other kids, and my youngest is 16 months. I have worried that its too close of an age gap, and worrying about how to manage 3 kids. Hang in there its not easy...once you see the baby on an u/s and you feel the baby kick it will sink in more

 

[MittenMom]

I know the feeling, I thought I was done after my last child. She was just turning one when I found out. I still feel very disconnected, I am almost 14 weeks....