Hi ladies,
So, I just wanted to start off my own little thread, dedicated to the utter, utter maddening worry that seems to come hand in hand with first trimester pregnancy.
I mean, nobody bloody warns you about the ever so intimate experience of trying to get knocked up in the first place (oh the fun - temping, endless boinking whether youre in the mood or not, piddling on sticks (of the ovulation or HCG variety), symptom spotting like a crazy person, or the horror of IVF (my personal favourite) hot flushes, totally buggered up sleep patterns, a feeling of going mental, being prodded and poked all the time). I always listened to the stories in Take A Break, whereby virginal school girls fell over on to some sperm and immediately got pregnant (I may be exaggerating for dramatic effect, but you get my gist bints everywhere getting knocked up without even fecking trying arrgh!)
Anyway you finally, finally complete that mega fun little journey to hell town, and get the result youve always wanted a BFP. Two gorgeous little lines, shouting look at me, look at me, youre not a dried up old prune with dust for innards after all! oh the happiness. I dont know about you ladies, but I floated about on cloud nine for a few weeks, used all my spare moisture up peeing on sticks so I could track my progression (and there is something shockingly addictive about seeing those little lines come up as your piddle moves across the stick).
Then the worry starts to set in. My first BFP resulted in a blighted ovum (feck you universe), so that one didnt just take the wind out of my sails, it also crapped on my crew and then sank my boat completely.
So with my second (IVF) BFP, and once the honeymoon excitement of just having gotten pregnant had subsided, my cynical side took over (Im from London so have oodles of cynicism to use up) and I started getting all doomy and gloomy. Google became my absolute nemesis and I think I diagnosed myself with every pregnancy ailment under the sun. Despite seeing my little bean at 7 weeks with a lovely flickering heartbeat, I remained convinced something, somewhere would / will go wrong.
Anyway Ive managed to get to 11 weeks without incident and had my midwife booking appointment yesterday. That in itself was terrifying as I kept expecting them to find some horrifying medical condition whilst doing my obs (I swear to God Im never usually a hypochondriac but pregnancy seems to have turned me in to one of super nutty proportions!) ..
And next week I have my 12 week scan and nuchal test cue mentally deficient panicking of the epic variety ..I am absolutely bricking it. Hubby and I have both agreed that should anything be proven to be wrong with bubba, then we would need to seriously consider the options (this may not be the tack everyone would take, but its a personal decision, so judge ye not).
Im now not sure how the feck to get through the next 7 days. Its killing me already. I wish my belly was made of glass so I could just take a look myself. I did wonder how much a personal ultrasound would cost turns out Id probably have to sell a kidney and pimp my hubby out to get a down payment together ..
How do you cope?! HOW?!!!!
Good grief Im starting to wonder how the human race ever managed to procreate!
So, I just wanted to start off my own little thread, dedicated to the utter, utter maddening worry that seems to come hand in hand with first trimester pregnancy.
I mean, nobody bloody warns you about the ever so intimate experience of trying to get knocked up in the first place (oh the fun - temping, endless boinking whether youre in the mood or not, piddling on sticks (of the ovulation or HCG variety), symptom spotting like a crazy person, or the horror of IVF (my personal favourite) hot flushes, totally buggered up sleep patterns, a feeling of going mental, being prodded and poked all the time). I always listened to the stories in Take A Break, whereby virginal school girls fell over on to some sperm and immediately got pregnant (I may be exaggerating for dramatic effect, but you get my gist bints everywhere getting knocked up without even fecking trying arrgh!)
Anyway you finally, finally complete that mega fun little journey to hell town, and get the result youve always wanted a BFP. Two gorgeous little lines, shouting look at me, look at me, youre not a dried up old prune with dust for innards after all! oh the happiness. I dont know about you ladies, but I floated about on cloud nine for a few weeks, used all my spare moisture up peeing on sticks so I could track my progression (and there is something shockingly addictive about seeing those little lines come up as your piddle moves across the stick).
Then the worry starts to set in. My first BFP resulted in a blighted ovum (feck you universe), so that one didnt just take the wind out of my sails, it also crapped on my crew and then sank my boat completely.
So with my second (IVF) BFP, and once the honeymoon excitement of just having gotten pregnant had subsided, my cynical side took over (Im from London so have oodles of cynicism to use up) and I started getting all doomy and gloomy. Google became my absolute nemesis and I think I diagnosed myself with every pregnancy ailment under the sun. Despite seeing my little bean at 7 weeks with a lovely flickering heartbeat, I remained convinced something, somewhere would / will go wrong.
Anyway Ive managed to get to 11 weeks without incident and had my midwife booking appointment yesterday. That in itself was terrifying as I kept expecting them to find some horrifying medical condition whilst doing my obs (I swear to God Im never usually a hypochondriac but pregnancy seems to have turned me in to one of super nutty proportions!) ..
And next week I have my 12 week scan and nuchal test cue mentally deficient panicking of the epic variety ..I am absolutely bricking it. Hubby and I have both agreed that should anything be proven to be wrong with bubba, then we would need to seriously consider the options (this may not be the tack everyone would take, but its a personal decision, so judge ye not).
Im now not sure how the feck to get through the next 7 days. Its killing me already. I wish my belly was made of glass so I could just take a look myself. I did wonder how much a personal ultrasound would cost turns out Id probably have to sell a kidney and pimp my hubby out to get a down payment together ..
How do you cope?! HOW?!!!!
Good grief Im starting to wonder how the human race ever managed to procreate!
Doctor's not worried that by MY measurements I'm measuring behind since I'm right on schedule with LMP. Maybe by the 12 week scan things will level out/catch up? 
