Birth certificate and rights

[missjacey44]

My ex's name is on the birth certificate so i understand he does have rights and if anything was to happen to me he would have Tye. But he isnt fit to look after anyone not even himself and he doesnt even know Tye anyway so iv decided im going to contact a solicitor about changing that so my mum would get Tye if anything was to happen, I know its unlikely that something would happen but you never know!

So i just wondered if anyone else had done this? Or thinking of doing this?

Im not sure how it all works but i spoke to somebody from parentlineplus and they gave me a number of someone i need to contact. Apparently i dont even need to tell his dad i am doing this, I know he would go mad if he knew but i know its for the best for my son!

 

[AppleBlossom]

I'm not sure you can do it without his permission if his names on the birth certificate. Although if something happened to me I wouldn't want Jason to end up having Grace because I know my family would never get to see her, plus apart from being a selfish arrogant pain in the arse, he wouldn't be able to cope. He didn't do anything for her, feed her, bath her, get up in the night etc. So i'd want my parents to take her. I asked this same question earlier and got told if you write and submit a will stating who you want to have custody (bit depressing i know) then there isn't much he can do about it x

 

[Naya69]

it was only the other day i was talkin to my friend about this subject my ex cant even look after himself let alone josh he drinks way too much and takes drugs. theres no way i would want josh to go to him if anything should happen to me (touch wood) i would ither want josh to go to my mum or my brother as he is the best dad to his little boy and has brought him up perfectly but iam not sure about how i would go about doin this myself xx
my ex is not on my baby's birth certificate tho but he soon will be payin csa x

 

[Aria]

He is the father, he has rights. Is he willing to sign over his rights? If he doesn't know the child and doesn't care to (and I am NOT going to fault him for this - we have the right to abort if we don't want to be parents, but men have no equal right to not be parents), he should have no problem signing away his rights. Now if he doesn't want to know the child and refuses just to spite, you, then he's an ass. But as it stands, unless a court finds him permanently unfit to be a parent, his rights will stand. You two may be able to go in on this together - cut any claim to child support and him cutting the claim to parental rights. Even then though a judge might not go for it. Get him on your side though and you may have a chance.

 

[missjacey44]

Well he was arrested when baby was 2weeks old for attacking me and since then hasnt paid and only seen baby a few times but hasnt bothered to feed or play with baby.

He isnt working and he sits at home allday drinking and taking drugs, Im sure that can be proved if need be! Im sure he doesnt stand a chance if it was to go to court and i say i dont want him to have any rights or have custody if anything was to happen to me.

 

[PrettyBonk]

I've always wonder about this...even thought my son is 11 years old now and his "sperm donor" lol doesn't know him and he doesn't know his "sperm donor" lol ...the ass name is on my son't birth certificate...I just want to change his name...my son wants to have my name...but I am scared that if I go to court or something that they are gonna find him grant him visits and stuff :X even though I know he is not fit for any but the system is so screwed up that I dont even trust it...
We dont even know where he is...thank god.

 

[MummyMummy]

me andmy current partner seen a solicitor after ex went through solicitors being a silly bugger *rolls eyes* god knows why because he doesn't make the effort now no matter how much i get on about it! *sigh* and i mentioned the same thing that if aything touchwood should happen to me i would want 'my' son to stay with my current partner. i asked about making a will stating this and sol said i could if i wanted, but itwouldn't really mean anything as ex has parental responsibility. if somebody has been aroundthe child for a certain amount of time (think itmight bearound 3 years) then they can apply for rights to keep/have regular contact with the child they have the relationship with. destroying an established relationship with a non bio parent is apparently deemed far worse for the child than them not being placed with the bio parent from what sol said it would go through courts and there it would be decided. i don't wanna keep ex away from son, not at all, just want my son to stay where he is comfortable and knows where is home. and that is here with my partner, plus there will be a newbaby in afew months and i think it's important theyboth stay togehter. i've made my partner promise he'd dowhatever tokeep my son with him as a family, and keep the contact days/hours my ex chose to see son on - although he's been told many times he can have him more hours/days.
xXx

 

[missjacey44]

From what you've said seems like it might be more difficult than what i was told. I am going to ring in the week and find out about it! I shall update this when i know for anyone else thinking the same as me!

 

[sezzlebum]

try here

https://www.ukdps.co.uk/


it has the letters and info you need to change kids name, it has to be done by deed poll

 

[MummyMummy]

these rightsfor fathers people campaigning for this that and the other are a pain in the arse.

we go through labour, the after effects oflabour, not including stretch marks/our bodys changing they get bugger all of that stress/strain on their bodys/life (style) yet get all the rights we do? why?! wtf do they do?! dads get to bugger off whenever they choose to and it's us left at the end of the day that's GOT to bring that child up. and they get to come and go as they please. my sol said there's no permanent stopping access if there is no violence etc. type issues all we as mothers can do is stop it till the dad goes back to solicitors. so if they take the piss and as always its left down to us to deal with messed up routines we can onlystop them short term until again they involve solicitors andit can just keep going on from whatsolicitor said.

it really pees me off that i do everything formy son, asdoes my new partner including working 12hour shifts to provide for 'my' son and he by law has no rights at all, including agreeing to any medical type things... yet he knows more about baby than his real dad does! his real dad does fa off his own back, it always takes me saying/asking/shouting grr! he went to school last week for first time and not once did his dad make an effort to take him/pick him up/wishhim well the night before etc etc. yet new partner took a few days off to see him go/pick him upetc etc!
no thanksfor giving up my life, no well done for havinga well rounded littleboy. as you all know i don't wanna cut ex out of babys life, i just want him to make an effort! it isn't my place to stop that contact, though it is my place to keep my son in ahealthy routine and not to be upset when his daddy don't wanna speak to him, even when as 3yearold suggestedusing his roary(the car) phone as he was sure his daddy would speak tohim them! how heart breaking!

i really don't believe some... the key there being some dads deserve the rights they get. obv if they have always been there, done all they could possibly then they DO deserve the recognition, but the dads we seem to have borrowed the sperm off i don't believe do, it seems it's all on their terms. not the childs. i really don't agreewith mothers who take the p with the dads and make them jump through hoops etc etc. that is low! really effing low. i keep trying to get my ex to make an effort, not because i believe it will make my wonderfullil boyany better/happier/clever just because it's my sons right to know his real dad and to be able to sharea relationship with him, it'd be wrong of me to keep him away from hisreal daddy just because he has a new daddy. so tospeak.

although, it is some comfort to know that in re: to schools/drs etc etc for a dad to object through the courts it has tobe a bloody good reason not just a 'but all my family went suchand such aschool reason' so i guess we do have a bitmore of a say about the littlepeople we bring up and dedicate our life to!

rant?! me?! never please becarful of my soap box as you walk past girlies, thanks!

xXx