birthdays, money, general immaturity

[isil]

I'm sorry, I don't really read this section very often as I only have internet on my mobile now. I'm hoping you'll all forgive me tho.

Ally's Dad is coming down over his bday. He is seeing him all day monday, tuesday and thursday. We're supposed to do something together with Alasdair on the wednesday (22nd so not for a while yet) but lately I am starting to feel like I can't bare to. See he is constantly trying to show me up. Recently he's put VERY personal photos on his fbook of me, he is leaving comments on photos and about my status. most I've deleted because they are so immature and just mean towards me, usually about my parenting abilities. Also, we agreed when we split in feb that he'd give me £20 a wk for Alasdair. I've seen no money and he's working part time. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and just left it but after his most recent comment I decided to text him about it. I was really polite and mature and just stated facts and he's now ignoring me completely. I want to be able to tell ally that on his 1st bday we put our differences aside but right now I don't think I can. What do you all think? x

 

[Becky]

oh hun I have just seen this! Does he come see him often? Im very opionated when it comes to situations like this, my belief is if he cant provide finacially and emotionally then why should he be able to share these special times!

As for the whole facebook thing, He is a grown man not a 13 year old. I know its hard but try to ignore it but keep it all recorded you never know what information you may need in the future

x

 

[isil]

thanks Becky. He has seen him once since he moved back to manchester. I took him up there on the train as I don't have a car. later this month he's coming down here but he's complained about the cost of coming already! I made a mistake in the first post, he's not working part time he's working full time. He doesn't pay rent to his parents... You'd think he could provide some sort of support to his son financially...

I am going to give him until monday night to reply to me and then I'm going to say I'm having 2nd thoughts about doing something together on Alasdair's bday. Like, I don't want to try and bribe him to give me money and stop him from seeing ally but at the same time I provide for him every day and I want to spend his bday with him and think that we'd have a nicer time just me and Alasdair. I hate this, feel like Alasdair will blame me when he's older.

 

[Frankie]

Being a Dad is a full time does he maintain regular contact? if so has he ever let your son down?

Some blokes can be so immature like

 

[isil]

he saw him for a few days when I took him up for the wk. He had Ally overnight once and it was ok. He hasn't been exactly reliable, turning up late a lot. Then one time he picked him up then an hr later text me and said he needed to bring Ally back in half an hr (an hr and half early!) and I was in the middle of manchester panicking. I dunno. It's just bugging me that he isn't willing to discuss money or anything with me. I get no time to myself, I'm so tired and I love Ally to bits but surely every mum needs a bit of help...?

 

[Jade--x]

My ex hasn't paid anything towards my LO either. He's too busy buying '42 inch tv' 'xbox' '5000 computers' and whatever other rubbish he tells people he is buying, though where he gets the money from I'll never know, he always used to take all my money because he was so skint all the time.

Like Becky said, if he's not paying and he's not there emotionally for your little boy why should he get to be there when it's fun and when he feels like it? And if you don't feel comfortable with him being there, why ruin one of the best days of your life with your little boy?
x

 

[xXhayleyXx]

Hey hun, only just seen this thread, Sorry u and Ally have still been having a crappy time with his dad. Hope Ally did end up having a great 1st birthday tho xxx

 

[busybuzybee]

If he won't pay you voluntarily then you should get the CSA involved. He shouldn't be allowed to dodge his responsibilities

 

[Emilias Mummy]

Emilia is 2 in October her dad had paid 52p towards her upkeep, and thats thru CSA they told me that I was entitled to £22 a week, then a few weeks later I got a paym ent of 52p since then(May - i think) I have received no payments. I received a letter last week saying i get £2.50 a week. He has quit his job to avoid payments Aghhhhhhh. I struggle to support my daughter financially but she wants for nothing.