fantastica
Mum.
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2009
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Sorry this is a bit pointless...and never really posted in here before..just don't know what's going on with me!
Lost another baby 2 weeks ago today..and I don't feel 'upset', it's the third baby i've lost...but I do have a healthy baby boy too.
With the first two I cried for weeks...well with the first it went on until I fell pregnant again...about a year...the same with the second...the first was over the week after I found out..and it somehow didn't feel as real at the time...until about a week afterwards (hope this makes a little bit of sense), with the second baby I thought I was 12weeks..but baby had stopped a lot before that...I was really attached to it all...planning everything, and suddenly it had gone. Then fell pregnant with my son...everything was fine apart from one scare. This time...I really didn't want to fall pregnant (i know that sounds awful..especially here), but I guess I got used to the idea of this baby..and started to love it like the others.
But...since losing 'it'...I don't think I've even cried once..no I did once..but that's it. In some ways I never thought the baby would survive, just had that feeling. Thing is..although I've not been 'upset'...I'm slipping in to old ways.
Suffered from depression on and off for years..and now I find myself not getting dressed most days, not taking my LO out much , not being able to sleep...but wanting to stay in bed all the time, not wanting to eat or over eating.
Sorry this is so long...been on my mind for a few days...is it normal? Or am i Just a heartless cow not feeling as distraut as I have in the past? It's not that I don't miss bubs...agh..I just know I don't feel 'right'..maybe it'll come out in the next week or two
Lost another baby 2 weeks ago today..and I don't feel 'upset', it's the third baby i've lost...but I do have a healthy baby boy too.
With the first two I cried for weeks...well with the first it went on until I fell pregnant again...about a year...the same with the second...the first was over the week after I found out..and it somehow didn't feel as real at the time...until about a week afterwards (hope this makes a little bit of sense), with the second baby I thought I was 12weeks..but baby had stopped a lot before that...I was really attached to it all...planning everything, and suddenly it had gone. Then fell pregnant with my son...everything was fine apart from one scare. This time...I really didn't want to fall pregnant (i know that sounds awful..especially here), but I guess I got used to the idea of this baby..and started to love it like the others.
But...since losing 'it'...I don't think I've even cried once..no I did once..but that's it. In some ways I never thought the baby would survive, just had that feeling. Thing is..although I've not been 'upset'...I'm slipping in to old ways.
Suffered from depression on and off for years..and now I find myself not getting dressed most days, not taking my LO out much , not being able to sleep...but wanting to stay in bed all the time, not wanting to eat or over eating.
Sorry this is so long...been on my mind for a few days...is it normal? Or am i Just a heartless cow not feeling as distraut as I have in the past? It's not that I don't miss bubs...agh..I just know I don't feel 'right'..maybe it'll come out in the next week or two