Bit of birthing partner advice needed....

[tashalina]

Hi Ladies, I have a bit of a situation with who I'm having at my birth...a bit of background first, for my first baby it was just me and hubby at the birth, then when my DD was born my sister came too so I had the both of them.

When I found out I was PG my best friend jokingly said she thought I should have a home birth so she could be here too. Hubby replied saying well there is space for 2 people even at hospital. We were really close and spending a lot of time together and after thinking and talking about it with hubby I asked her if she would like to be my 2nd birthing partner when the time comes.

In Jan she briefly split up with her partner and came to stay with us, she got back with him very quickly but since then it seems like I hardly see her. We have always been close (and my kids see her as an auntie) we used to see each other several times a week but recently it can be weeks before she can fit us in and often cancels or rearranges plans last minute.

Basically the way things are I really dont feel like I want her at the birth. Its a very special time and I dont think we are close enough for her to share it with us.

Its a tough situation as she is quite an emotional and sensitive person and she is likely to be very upset by me telling her I have changed my mind. I dont want to lost her as a friend but I cant just have her there so as not to upset her

Any suggestions on how best to break it to her??

(sorry for the essay lol)

 

[MomPepperdine]

I'm thinking the best way to do it is to just do it

 

[curly79]

I would say that you and hubby had been talking about the first birth and how special it was when it was just the two of you and that you'd like to recapture that feeling. If you want someone else there again just don't mention it and say when labour kicked off your mum or whoever was with you and were really helping you through the contractions and you changed mind again for the extra support.

 

[cupcake0406]

Just text her when you're in labour and say you will let her know when you've arrived at the hospital and she can meet you there. Then just get your partner to call her and say the midwife you have got wont let anyone else in the room and is a dragon haha! Eek it's a tough situation xx

 

[helensamantha]

If she really is a true friend, she will understand if you just say to her you have changed your mind and would just like your hubby to be there. End of, no excuses and she shouldn't ask questions, just respect your decision.

Granted, it is a tough one and I can understand how you don't want to upset her, but I would just let her know, sooner rather than later

Good luck xx

 

[tashalina]

thanks I know the longer I leave it the harder it will be, just worried about her reaction. Think Ill just have to bite the bullet. (would it be mean to take the cowards way out and text her lol) xx

 

[laceyinthesky]

I'd just let her know that with how "busy" she's been (canceling and rearranging on you and what not) that you think it might be best that somebody who you know is going to be reliable be there in the room with you. She should at least understand that as when you're in labor is when it's most important that you know she's going to be there since you can only have so many people in the room with you.

I wouldn't worry about whether or not she's throws a fit. You're the pregnant hormonal one here.