bloody fuming! ex has been spreading lies about me!

[FsMummy]

im so pissed off right now. in the 2 months ive been back in southend my ex has seen the kids twice and thats only because i asked hgim to but hes been telling everyone that i wont let him see them! apparently hes been sitting n crying telling ppl i wont let him! ive only told him he cant have them on his own, i am more than happy for him to come round here or meet up at the park with them etc i even said id take them to his. hes been slaggin me off big time, one of his housemates was a really close old friend of mine and i dread to think what hes been saying to him as i received a text from the friend telling me to rot in hell. not once has he asked me how the kids are or if he can see them, hes made no effort whatsoever, he lives 5 minutes away ffs. idiot. im the one who looks after them every single day and this is the thanks i get, he isnt even giving me any money for them!

 

[purpledahlia]

hmmm thats a tricky one, not sure what i'd do.. probably ask that person who text you what theyre on about? what have you doen to deserve that? see if he says.?

 

[billy2mm]

my ex has been spreading lies about me too. apparently i was cheating on him ad i wont let him see the kids (partially right - i wont let him see them unsupervised or in my home only at a contact centre with a socil worker present).

i just try not to let it bother me coz the people that matter the most to me know the truth and in the end, when we get to court over the divorce, the truth will come out and i know him and he will bring his whole family there and the lot of them will end up knowing what kind of person they have been backing up and me, the innocent one in all this along with the kids, have been suffering coz of their lies and actions.

unfortunately we cannot control what our ex's say about us. if this friends opinion really matters to you then call him or visit and put the record straight but if he is willing to believe anything your ex says without hearing your side of the story then i wouldnt care if he rotted in hell tbh.

sounds to me like he is trying to ease his conscience and back up his suport network for when the truth does come out as in the more people he has on his side now the more chance someone wil be left after they find out he is full of shit!

 

[AppleBlossom]

My ex did the same. We used to work together and while I was on Mat leave he went back into work (even though he had left and got another job) and started telling all our mutual friends how terrible and nasty I was and giving it the "I'm so hard done to" speech. Despite the fact he had been cheating on me, lying to me, abusing me AND he was the one who left us. Which I'm sure he failed to mention. I went back to work after Mat leave unaware of all of this and not one person there wanted to speak to me. All I got were dirty looks and people whispering about me. One of my good friends walked past me and I said hello and she just looked and me, gave me a filthy look and said "Hi" and walked off. I quit my job after that because I refused to work in that kind of atmosphere. And now he gives me grief for the fact I'm on benefits. Well A) You left us with NO money and B) You made me end up leaving my job so yes, I do need benefits! Sorry, didn't mean to go into a rant there. Just ignore him. He might be playing the victim now but it'll come to light one day and people will avoid him and he'll only have himself to blame

 

[LittleMadam]

FSmummy,

Ignore it. As the other girls said, you know the truth. I'd wait for him to get in contact regarding visitation now. Don't bother chasing him. And I would definitely stop letting him get away without paying child support. Contact the CSA if you have to

Best.xx

 

[Kate&Lucas]

Exactly the same situation here. At first I was worried about what everyone thought about me but you know what, I just don't care anymore. The people around me know the truth, I just feel sorry for anyone still gullible enough to listen to his sh**.

 

[gemabee]

don't let it bother u hun... my ex has told anyone nd everyone that i'm some slag he slept with a couple of times nd that i tried to trap him by gettin pregnant!
it doesn't bother me because the important people know the truth... men spread lies to make themselves feel better for their downfalls... nd on both of these occassions its because they are not prepare to look after their children nd they know they are in the wrong because of it.
xxx

 

[Surreal]

FOB is the same withe me... I haven't talked to him for /months/, and he has some contact with some of my fellow co-workers. Told one of my co-workers a couple weeks ago that *I* seduced him into it all, so that I could intentionally get pregnant... What!? Yeah, because most people choose to take the hard route, when it comes to doing things, right? My co-worker was totally disgusted with the suggestion, and hardly believed his feeble excuse.

In the end it comes down to, your ex is attempting to justify his actions, and look better in the light of other people, because he can't stand to stand in face of the truth. well, if it makes him sleep better at night, then good riddance to him -- you don't need that type of crap to deal with. Anyone that matters, will know better then the lies he's spreading.

 

[Pyrrhic]

Same thing here.

Seems a bit of a coincidence that all our ex's are the same. Mine told everyone I'd been cheating on him and left him for someone else. As a result, my family have stopped speaking to me and I haven't heard from them at all in 6 months. His mum rang me the other day and actually asked me how my boyfriend was

When people ask me why we ended I don't talk about all the nasty abusive, controlling behaviour he did. I just say it broke down because of a lot of anger.

I have no idea why these men lie. I guess they know they have acted so badly they are afriad of the truth coming out and to save face they try to get in with 'their story' first.

Big hugs Hun

 

[billy2mm]

Same thing here.

Seems a bit of a coincidence that all our ex's are the same. Mine told everyone I'd been cheating on him and left him for someone else. As a result, my family have stopped speaking to me and I haven't heard from them at all in 6 months. His mum rang me the other day and actually asked me how my boyfriend was

When people ask me why we ended I don't talk about all the nasty abusive, controlling behaviour he did. I just say it broke down because of a lot of anger.

I have no idea why these men lie. I guess they know they have acted so badly they are afriad of the truth coming out and to save face they try to get in with 'their story' first.

Big hugs Hun

what did you say to her?!?

 

[Pyrrhic]

Same thing here.

Seems a bit of a coincidence that all our ex's are the same. Mine told everyone I'd been cheating on him and left him for someone else. As a result, my family have stopped speaking to me and I haven't heard from them at all in 6 months. His mum rang me the other day and actually asked me how my boyfriend was

When people ask me why we ended I don't talk about all the nasty abusive, controlling behaviour he did. I just say it broke down because of a lot of anger.

I have no idea why these men lie. I guess they know they have acted so badly they are afriad of the truth coming out and to save face they try to get in with 'their story' first.

Big hugs Hun

what did you say to her?!?

I asked what she was talking about, and she said that ex had told everyone I left for another man and had been seeing him this whole time. So I put her straight. Told her that the only other people involved in our marriage were the women he was sending inappropriate emails to, and that I haven't been with any man since my marriage broke down. It's pointless actually trying to speak to people though. His Mum will always take his side, and people will always believe what they want to believe or what is easy for them. Not the truth.

 

[FsMummy]

thank you all for the replies. i still havent heard from him at all. oh well, his loss. i think everyone here deserves a great big men are a bunch of idiots (the majority anyway lol) we dont need them x xx

 

[Greenlightx]

Hi I'm new here and recently became a dad. My partner is going thought the rubbish. Her ex has been slagging her off saying she beats the kids and that she won't let him see them which is utter rubbish! It started when she left him nearly 3 years ago. He was quiet for a few months... When she finally met someone nice he caused a lot of shit between them and they eventually split for other reasons. We got together nearly 2 years ago and things were great until he found out I was on the scene. He started slagging my partner off all over Facebook and she was getting threatened. They have 2 girls ages 11 and 8 and is constantly slagging us off infront of them. I held my tongue for a year before I said anything to him about it. He blatantly lies about things even if he's been caught out. He makes excuses for not collecting the girls just to make it awkward for us. Now the eldest girl wants live with him after everything he has done to her. He's not paid a penny towards them until now only because CSA got involved and he's still lying on when he has them. It's a joke. Just before we got together He even claimed the kids were living with him so he could stop my partner receiving the child benefit she was entitled to. He was constantly calling my partner asking her and even did it the same night he met current gf. She got pregnant after 2 months of being together and now the baby is born he's put him before his girls. It breaks my heart the way he's treating them. But to this day still causing problems. He won't say anything to my face and he's right not to. It's been so hard not to get physically involved. Any advice??

 

[sophxx]

Id start a new thread thus is old and people who have advice might not see your post x

 

[SophiasMummy]

Same here my ex has being spreading lies about me since I was pregnant saying I wouldnt talk to him or let him have anything to do with the pregnancy and more recently telling his family im stopping him from seeing her ans saying my LOs staying at his and then that I cancelled last minute making me look like the bad person, when hes only seen LO 15 times and has been told until he visits her egularly with me there then he cant have sophia by himself as she doesnt know him, men are such liers it drives me nuts x