BLW - sceptical grandparents

[SoupDragon]

We're starting BLW next week I can't wait, I'm so excited (and nervous, but mostly excited)!

My parents, though they agree with BLW in principle, sort of, are starting to say stuff like 'she needs food, you need to feed her', etc etc, especially if I say she's had a lot of milk in one go, and it's grating on my nerves! They know what we're doing and why, but I suppose it's just so different to what they did with me.

They know the science and research behind it, so there's no point going over that again, and they don't take well to being 'corrected'. Their viewpoint isn't going to make us change our approach - DD is perfectly capable of bringing food to her own mouth, and she's taking in a good amount of milk and following her centile line perfectly, so we're not worried!

I think I'm just looking for others' experiences with sceptical relatives, and how you dealt with the fact that not much food actually gets swallowed for the first couple of months? *We* know it's not important for her to swallow stuff yet, but family are going to be all up in arms about it and are going to go on about how we should be spoon-feeding as well to make sure she gets enough nutrients. Never mind that an ounce of carrot has a fraction of the calories and nutrients of an ounce of milk.

 

[fortunecookie]

You'll be surprised how much they do ingest, my little ones have both done BLW and judging from my DD nappies she is definitely taking on food. Maybe you could show one of your babies nappies to satisfy them lol.

 

[SoupDragon]

Oh lovely, lol, I thought we'd have at least a few more weeks of nice (as much as poo can be nice, you know?) breastmilk poo before it started changing! But that'd be good if I can provide evidence of that sort to prove she's taking stuff in. Plus I'll still be taking her to clinic...if her milk intake falls and she drops centiles, then there would be grounds to worry, but otherwise I trust her to know what she needs, I just wish others would too. But then, I am her mummy and I know her best. I know that BLW rather than spoon feeding purees is the way to go for her...she is so determined and independent, I can't see her accepting a spoon being put in her mouth for her!

 

[fortunecookie]

DD Is still taking in a lot of milk (except when I'm at work as I breastfeed, but that's a whole different story). We are still on at least 5 feeding sessions in the day and at least 2 in the night.

On the pooh issue, yes it definitely smells bad compared to sweet smelling breastfed pooh but on the plus side it does stop poomageddon with it squirting everywhere.

Just remember food is for fun until they are one x

 

[Stacey_Ann]

My mum and nan were hugely sceptical when I did blw with my son, Everytime he gagged in the beginning they'd have a fit, insisting he was choking etc.

Once he'd got the hang of it though they thought it was amazing and would tell everyone about it lol!

I stuck to my guns, didn't let it bother me and just let Jacob lead the way. Now with Isla they are fully supportive and were expecting me to BLW.

We're 3 weeks in and she's definitely swallowing some food as her poops are more solid etc

Xx

 

[MindUtopia]

I would just say that the recommendation now is that breastmilk or formula should be the bulk of their calories until 1 (which is true) and that finger foods and self-feeding are also recommended (which is also true), even if the NHS does support traditional weaning as well. And just tell them to wait and see!

My husband's family was massively skeptical and thought we were nuts. They weren't so much concerned with her not eating enough, but more that she would never lean to eat properly - proper foods and with proper cutlery. How they rationalised that pureed food and being spoonfed is the only way for babies to learn to eat real food and use a fork, I don't know! My MIL went to visit a friend who was caring for her grandchildren (who were about 5) and they were eating pasta with their hands, and she came home ranting about how our daughter was going to be one of those kids that never learned proper table manners and how to use cutlery because she was using her hands to eat instead of us feeding her. She was always bringing it up and asking us if she was using a fork yet (she was like 9 months, so no, not yet!).

She's now 2 and uses a spoon and a fork very well, which she did from probably just past a year. She eats all sorts of foods that kids don't normally want to try - she'll polish off a whole bowl of olives, she loves chorizo, she loves pickled vegetables, she's tried seaweed. She sat and ate a whole roast dinner with them on Easter Sunday perfectly fine. They now marvel at how well she eats and what she's willing to try, and say they wish they had known they could have done this when their own children were little because it seems like such a better way to go! They are total converts to BLW now and always compliment us on choosing it.

So I think just explain your reasoning, explain the science and recommendations behind it, tell them you know people who've had much success doing it this way, and then just change the subject. It's your choice and who cares what they think. They'll be eating their words one day and amazed at how well your LO has done.

 

[Mrs HM]

I'd say the best thing is not to discuss it with them. You've made your choice for your LO and if they don't agree there's no point in seeking their input or approval. I did a mix of BLW and purees with both of my LO's - they always had a range of finger foods to feed themselves at every meal along with a cereal, yoghurt or puree that I fed to them. This worked for us.

My son is still a lazy eater and needs a lot of encouragement to eat even things he likes, while my DD will eat anything going. And at 10months she'll eat more variety and quanties than her big brother who is 3. We introduced them to food in exactly the same way yet he'll go without rather than eat unfamiliar food, and she is the complete opposite. So while some BLW babies are unfussy, adventurous eaters, I suspect that's because of the nature of the child and not totally about how they were weaned. At least that's our experience!

 

[SoupDragon]

I'd say the best thing is not to discuss it with them. You've made your choice for your LO and if they don't agree there's no point in seeking their input or approval.

Lol, I don't, but I get input anyway! In principle they agree, but at the moment it's the fact that we haven't started giving her solids the second she was 6 months...we're waiting til Saturday so DH can be there too...I figure 3 days won't make any difference! It's in the form of teasing at the moment but it doesn't feel like it's only teasing, because it gets mentioned every time we speak. Like they're worried she's going to starve. Maybe I'm just being too sensitive, I don't know. I hope by the time we're next all in the same room that DD has taken to blw like a duck to water and is chomping away on everything I put in front of her!

 

[HBGirl]

My DD deposited a nice human pooh the day after we started blw. We started her on soft butternut cubes. They have days where they throw most of it but days where they eat like a tavern keeper. LOL

 

[amytrisha]

My MIL was SO sceptical when we started BLW, we just brushed off her comments every time she mentioned him 'not eating much' and 'making a mess' just told her he was fine.. She'll even say now she didn't like it at first but she thinks it's brilliant how good he is at eating now.

You'll love it far too much to care what others say, your LO will love it too it's so good for them they learn so much from it. I still love watching my son eat enjoy!!

 

[RaspberryK]

My dad was sceptical til ds ate a whole salmon fillet for lunch when he was about 7 months, by himself, left 2 bones to the side too.
Xx