Born too soon at 21 weeks (pprom, long)

[tansy24]

My son Oliver was born July 19th 2011 at 21 weeks. He was with us for a little over an hour before he passed away. I've had 2 early miscarriages before him, so once we got to 12 weeks, and then to 20 weeks, we really felt like everything was going to be ok. However on July 18th I was woken up out of sleep by severe cramping. When I went to go to the bathroom, at first I thought I might have wet myself since I was leaking. Once I got there I realized it was probably my water breaking. I timed the cramps I was having as my husband drove me to the hospital and they were coming up 5-7 minutes apart.

Once we got to the hospital they checked and said my water had NOT broken (oh how I wish i had known those strips can be wrong!) and sent me for an ultrasound. The ultrasound still showed plenty of water around Oliver, however my cervix was completely thinned and dilated. They checked again at that point and realized that my water had broken and that it was just a slow leak. They told me that because it was so early there was nothing they could do, and since my water had broken and the risk of infection was high, they wouldn't give me drugs to prevent contractions.

We spent the night in the hospital trying to come to terms with what was happening and the next morning Oliver was born. We held him and cried over him, he was bigger than they were expecting at 1lb 3 ounces. They had told us to expect no more than 15 minutes with him, but he was a fighter and stayed with us a little over an hour.

After about 20 minutes of holding him my placenta was refusing to come out and I was hemorrhaging so I had to leave my baby and husband and be taken for an emergency d&c. They also had to give me 3 pints of blood. By the time I came back he was gone, however they let us have the rest of the night with him to say goodbye.

I'm still in shock at how fast it all happened, and right afterwards I had every test under the sun done to try to find out what happened. I did have a very bad SCH around 8 weeks, however it had resolved by 12 weeks. There is still a chance it weakened his amniotic sack I was told. They don't believe I have an incompetent cervix, and while there were signs of infection in the testing they did on the placenta, they don't know if it came before or after my water broke. They also don't know if I went into labor first and my water broke, or if it broke and that put me into labor. I wish science could give us more answers, it seems like a lot of people who have gone through this get told by dr's that they aren't really sure exactly what went wrong.

After HSG's, genetic testing, and MRI's all came back okay, they gave us the go ahead to try again, with the promise of monitoring a future pregnancy much more closely.

 

[Hellylou]

I am so sorry for your loss. It is such a terrible trauma to lose a baby this way, and so suddenly and inexplicably. And the fact you lost 2 before this...life is so very unfair.

We are all here to talk, and welcome you to this part of the forum, although it is so sad that you have had to join us.

I lost my baby boy to pprom at 16 weeks and I have yet to even have any path results on the tests they did on the placenta. My waters were slowly leaking, and by the time it was picked up there were clear signs of infection and I was in a lot of pain and very ill. I still don't know which came first - waters breaking or infection, and probably never will. There was no hope though, either way.

I am glad you have had the all clear to try again, and I know how daunting that must be for you. Sending positive wishes your way for that rainbow baby

 

[tansy24]

I'm sorry you also lost your son I wish so badly we both could have the answer to WHY but I'm also glad that they are honest with us and admit that they aren't sure what happened. I'm trying to stay cautiously optimistic for the future but it can be hard. No one in my circle of family or friends knows anyone who has had a second trimester loss, so thank goodness for everyone here!!

 

[KamIAm]

Welcome Tansy ....

I hate that life has thrown you into this category but sooo thankful you found your way here.... Everyone here has experienced at least 1 loss in this time frame so we know how you are feeling & thinking... No, you are not alone... I know I find this place my "saving grace"... my true life line... A place I know I can always come to and have no judgement placed on me and surrounded by such understanding... I truly hope this section on this forum is a blessing to you as it is to me ... Everyone here is BEYOND nice and friendly ...

I must say, I absolutely LOVE your lil guys' name!!! Oliver! It's perfect! I know he has met all of our lil ones and I'm sure getting into trouble and being mischievous right along with them

I lost my Emma 7 month ago, she was born sleeping at 19.4 weeks... She weighted 8.7 ounces and was 6 inches long, so yes, Oliver was a good size boy ... So precious.....

In my situation, MY body failed us.... Emma was perfect and healthy... I have a reason why she passed.... I am diagnosis'd with Incompetent Cervix (IC) ... Crap Cervix is what I call it... I have a ugly history with my cervix and we don't like each other much ... I am sooo thankful you don't have that.... I know answer are MUCH NEEDED and I pray you get them in time...

Thank you for reaching out to us and sharing Lil Oliver with us.... Just your story alone will help so many others.... We're all in this together... Always here for ya!!

 

[Nikki_d72]

Hi Tansy, I'm so, so sorry for the loss of little Oliver. What a lovely name.

I too unfortunately know too well the shock and anguish that comes with this type of loss, my waters broke with a huge gush at just past 19weeks and I went into labour 6 days later and delivered my twins.

I'm so sorry you were rushed away from your boy, that must have been the most hellish thing. It's amazing he stayed with you so long, what a fighter.

I also have no solid answers and had infection present in the placenta but as my waters were broken for so long it's impossible to tell which came first. I know how frustrating it is to get no answers but I suppose we got to hang on to there being no reason it would happen again. It's better they are truthful with us than make up possible scenarios though. I'm glad you will get lots of monitoring next time.

I also wanted the tocolytic drugs or a cerclage and they wouldn't due to the risk of infection - they said the most likely reason I would go into labour was my body ridding itself of infection and if they prevented it they would most certainly risk sepsis for me, risking my uterus and possibly death. They said it would be against their hippocratic oath. It was awful though to know that they were alive and well but no-one could save them from what was coming. I'm so sorry you went through this too.

I've read a lot about SH weakeneing the membranes, but did you feel any leaking before that night? The reason I ask you that is the fact you were woken by contractions, so it may be more of a true case of Preterm labour which broke the membranes rather than spontaneous breakage, have they said anything about that? It can have a different approach to treatment - there is quite a lot that can be done to prevent PTL, I think. Here's a good link I found: https://www.keepemcookin.com/prevention.aspx

I hope you don't mind me asking that, it's just beacause I know it needs more active management that an unknown pPROM which many doctors may just put down to bad luck or something like SCH so will not actively manage a future pregnancy unless the SCH re-occurs. It sounds like your doctors will be on the case anyway, which is great - some won't do anything unless you've experienced 2 second tri losses, which I think is beyond cruel. Luckily I have a good and compassionate OB as well. I know any rainbow pregnancy will be terrifying though.

I'm so sorry you have had to join us, but welcome. The ladies on here have kept me sane and taught me a lot. It can be a lonely time, like you say not many have lost a baby in the second trimester so nobody really understands in RL. You will be understood here and not judged, we all have our seemingly mad thoughts and moments, no matter what you are feeling I would almost guarantee one of us has been in the same frame of mind or still is and can offer consolence.

I wish you all the best. xxx

 

[Andypanda6570]

I am so deeply sorry for your loss
My Ava was born sleeping at 18 and half weeks
It has been 8 months since we buried her and not a day goes by that my sadness or emptiness is not there, this is so sad
I want you to know the women here are beautiful and so caring, whenever you need us we will be there.
Life just seems so unfair and what a terrible thing we all have to endure.

XOXOOX Thinking Of You

 

[MissingRyder]

I'm a new member myself and I'm sorry you have had the need for this forum but have to say you will run across some wonderful people that also have went through what your struggling with. Sorry for Oliver's passing and I hope and pray you find comfort in time. I too have an angel boy and his name is Ryder. I lost Ryder 10/20/11. Floaty kisses to both Ryder and Oliver

 

[angel jayvian]

So sorry huns I also loss my son Jayvian at 21 weeks july29 2011due to pprom I was inthe hospital for about aweek till I delivered. never thought something like this could happen after 20 weeks .. Its upsetting that
After something like this happens they promise us more attention to our next pregnancy and we are left with no answers!

My son Oliver was born July 19th 2011 at 21 weeks. He was with us for a little over an hour before he passed away. I've had 2 early miscarriages before him, so once we got to 12 weeks, and then to 20 weeks, we really felt like everything was going to be ok. However on July 18th I was woken up out of sleep by severe cramping. When I went to go to the bathroom, at first I thought I might have wet myself since I was leaking. Once I got there I realized it was probably my water breaking. I timed the cramps I was having as my husband drove me to the hospital and they were coming up 5-7 minutes apart.

Once we got to the hospital they checked and said my water had NOT broken (oh how I wish i had known those strips can be wrong!) and sent me for an ultrasound. The ultrasound still showed plenty of water around Oliver, however my cervix was completely thinned and dilated. They checked again at that point and realized that my water had broken and that it was just a slow leak. They told me that because it was so early there was nothing they could do, and since my water had broken and the risk of infection was high, they wouldn't give me drugs to prevent contractions.

We spent the night in the hospital trying to come to terms with what was happening and the next morning Oliver was born. We held him and cried over him, he was bigger than they were expecting at 1lb 3 ounces. They had told us to expect no more than 15 minutes with him, but he was a fighter and stayed with us a little over an hour.

After about 20 minutes of holding him my placenta was refusing to come out and I was hemorrhaging so I had to leave my baby and husband and be taken for an emergency d&c. They also had to give me 3 pints of blood. By the time I came back he was gone, however they let us have the rest of the night with him to say goodbye.

I'm still in shock at how fast it all happened, and right afterwards I had every test under the sun done to try to find out what happened. I did have a very bad SCH around 8 weeks, however it had resolved by 12 weeks. There is still a chance it weakened his amniotic sack I was told. They don't believe I have an incompetent cervix, and while there were signs of infection in the testing they did on the placenta, they don't know if it came before or after my water broke. They also don't know if I went into labor first and my water broke, or if it broke and that put me into labor. I wish science could give us more answers, it seems like a lot of people who have gone through this get told by dr's that they aren't really sure exactly what went wrong.

After HSG's, genetic testing, and MRI's all came back okay, they gave us the go ahead to try again, with the promise of monitoring a future pregnancy much more closely.

 

[daopdesign]

It's awful when you don't get a solid answer as to why it happened I'm so sorry for your loss and your previous losses. I'm sure you will go on to have a baby full term

 

[tansy24]

Thank you so much for all the support ladies, and I'm so sorry so many of us have been through this

They do think my water was leaking for about a week before I went into labor. I had actually gone in a week earlier since my discharge had increased and they did a strip test and it came back negative and they blew me off. But when I got to the hospital it also was negative, but when they examined closer she said my discharge was very watery and sure enough a more careful test with the paper and the ferning test did in fact show amniotic fluid. It was just a really slow leak

I just had my first Dr's appoinment for a new pregnancy, and they are planning on doing a scan at 9 weeks to get a baseline for my cervix, and then they will monitor every 2 weeks until 15 weeks. From 15 weeks and beyond they will be checking it weekly.

They also are going to do bacterial infection cultures regularly in case that is what caused the pprom last time.

I'll be on P17 shots from 14-36 weeks once a week.

And they are willing to let me come in at any time for reassurance (they are less than a mile from house which is nice!)

They will only do a cerclage if I show signs of having IC.

I wish no one ever had to go through the pain of losing a baby or the anxiety involved when you decide to try again after a loss.

We have all of Oliver's things is a memory box, and I'm so glad I let the nurse take pictures. At the time I wanted her to just leave us alone, but now they are the most important thing I have.

 

[Andypanda6570]

Thank you so much for all the support ladies, and I'm so sorry so many of us have been through this

They do think my water was leaking for about a week before I went into labor. I had actually gone in a week earlier since my discharge had increased and they did a strip test and it came back negative and they blew me off. But when I got to the hospital it also was negative, but when they examined closer she said my discharge was very watery and sure enough a more careful test with the paper and the ferning test did in fact show amniotic fluid. It was just a really slow leak

I just had my first Dr's appoinment for a new pregnancy, and they are planning on doing a scan at 9 weeks to get a baseline for my cervix, and then they will monitor every 2 weeks until 15 weeks. From 15 weeks and beyond they will be checking it weekly.

They also are going to do bacterial infection cultures regularly in case that is what caused the pprom last time.

I'll be on P17 shots from 14-36 weeks once a week.

And they are willing to let me come in at any time for reassurance (they are less than a mile from house which is nice!)

They will only do a cerclage if I show signs of having IC.

I wish no one ever had to go through the pain of losing a baby or the anxiety involved when you decide to try again after a loss.

We have all of Oliver's things is a memory box, and I'm so glad I let the nurse take pictures. At the time I wanted her to just leave us alone, but now they are the most important thing I have.

I am thinking of you and I want you to know I wish you all the best with your new pregnancy. I also want to say to you that Oliver is watching over you .. I am going to post a thread in a little while telling what happened to me today, i am still in shock over it. All I can say is I used to not have any hope or faith and today it all has changed. I just know our babies are ok and waiting for us.. I am so sorry for your loss of Oliver, I am here if you ever need a friend.
XOXOXOOX

 

[Hellylou]

Ah, wishing you a happy and healthy 9 months ahead. I am so glad they are going to be keeping such a close eye on you this time. It's not going to stop you from being scared, but it will certainly help.

There are so many similarities with what you are describing to what happened to me, only earlier in gestation. I know my waters were leaking for a full week before I started getting contractions, but no one ever did a strip test like the one you mention. I didn't know what the discharge was, and it had been looking unusual for a while before the waters started leaking, but they did swabs and to this day I never got a result from any of them, and since joining this forum and hearing about BV, I do wonder if that may have been something to do with it.

I know next time I will be insisting on all kinds of swabs and tests. I look back and wonder what may have been if I'd made more of a fuss and insisted on things instead of believing when they said it was all ok.

 

[wife.mom]

I am so sorry for your loss.
We lost our son at 13 weeks...I cannot imagine how painful it is to lose a baby even further along than that.
Huge hugs.

 

[Nikki_d72]

I'm so glad you are getting such good care this time and I know it will be scary but Cogratulations on your pregnancy!

Those nitrazine tests are often negative - my waters gushed and soaked my jammies, filled my slippers etc and they still wouldn't believe it was amniotic fluid as the test was negative. I took my jammy bottoms with me and suggested they test that, it was positive but they still sent me for scans to rule out TTTS, as they said the test off clothing isn't conclusive.

They told me the same about not placing a cerclage unless there is change evident, I'm glad you are going to be so closely watched and that's great you live so close - I live nearly 4hours away from the hospital but there is a scanning place here so a lot of it will be done remotely and the consultant comes to a hospital an hour away once a month. I will be under shared care with a MW as well, if I get to that point. Anyway, I'm prattling.

Congrats again, wishing you all the best. xxx

 

[DueSeptember]

Sorry for your Loss they couldnt give me a diagnosis either I Lost My Maya at 24 weeks my water broke at 23 weeks but congrats on ur

 

[yazoo]

I am so very sorry for the loss of baby Oliver.
I lost Jakob 12 weeks ago at 22 weeks. I noticed you mentioned about the SCH. I bled alot during my pregnancy but a SCH was never detected so they thought it was just one of those things. HOwever on the last scan I had (the day I went into labour) they noticed a 10x9 SCH which was behind the placenta & caused the membranes to break. At my follow up the OB said that I likely had a SCH all along but it was never detected on the scans. It doesn't really fill me hope for the next time.

Congratulations on your new pregnancy. I wish you a H&H one. We are all here for you..

 

[Nikki_d72]

Would it be worth taking blood thinners, Clexane or similar, as a precaution against SCH, or does it not work that way? Just a thought.

xx