Breast Feeding or Expressing

[d_b]

I agree with the others, expressing is a pain. For me pumping took ages and sterilizing the pump and bottles was annoying. I did pump a bit in the beginning as LO wasn't gaining enough weight, so I'd pump at the end of a feed and OH would give it to him after the next feed. DS never got nipple confusion, but I was only able to pump maybe 1oz each time.

A friend of mine pumped and had her OH do some night feeds and she found that really good, but for me I just couldn't find enough hours in the day to pump!

When LO was a few months old it got easier, I would pump from one side as LO fed from the other side. Then I'd wait an hour and offer LO the side I had pumped from. DS would never take a bottle from me but would take it from OH.

 

[Shoogle]

I had to express for for ds (it took him five weeks to finally latch) and it was terrible. It was easy enough to get enough milk (I expressed almost 2 liters a day) but it caused an oversupply issue. Plus it's like doing the whole feeding thing twice you have to spend the time to express and then you have to give the baby the bottle plus sterilizing etc. Twice the work really. I had dh do the nappy changes and he also rocked ds to sleep loads feeding isn't the only way to bond or take care of the baby. I would either bf or bottle feed I won't be expressing next time I hated it. Just my two cents.

 

[Amygdala]

I had to express for the first two weeks with baby 1 and I'd never put myself through that voluntarily if I could just breastfeed instead. So much extra work!

Saying that, I then exclusively breastfed LO until we started solids and DH and her have the strongest bond. He'd bathe her (still does to this day), sing to her, rock her to sleep at night, wear her in a wrap on walks... There are so many things daddy can do besides help with feeding. I honestly don't think their bond could be any stronger, even if he'd been the only one to ever feed her. And as soon as they start solids, feeding can be shared anyway.

There's a few reasons why exclusively expressing isn't ideal (although of course much better for baby than formula). One is that it's harder to establish an adequate supply when you're expressing, because a pump never empties your breasts as fully as a baby, so your breasts "think" that they don't need to make as much milk. Secondly, breast milk changes according to baby's needs if they latch on. There are enzymes in baby's saliva that "tell" the breast what's needed in terms of fat content etc if baby is latched on directly. Finally, latching onto a breast has been shown to favour the healthy development of the mouth and jar and even supports speech development. So if you can get that added benefit, why not go for it?

So in sum, I'd always breastfeed directly for the first 6 weeks or so and then go to a combination of direct and expressed feeding at the most. I honestly think your DH won't feel like he's missing out anyway though because he'll find other ways to bond.

 

[hubblybubbly]

I had to express exclusively as due to mouth abnormalities willow was unable to latch, and it nearly killed me, was so much harder than I ever imagined...I mean you just pop on the pump and it comes out right? No...it took an hour to get enough for one feed, which she'd guzzle, while I was desperately back on the pump getting more, my nipples were blistered, I got mastitis, you have to pump through the night to get enough and the feedback mechanism isn't as good as a baby's suck so until your supply is established you're always playing catch up.

I managed 9 weeks, before waving my white flag.

If you get the choice I would establish you're breast feeding first in the initial 6 weeks then if you still wanted to express a bottle a day for DH to feed then great but I would never ever pick to express exclusively or even regularly fro the start. There's lots of ways for DH to bond...bath time together, skin to skin, baby wearing.

Good luck whatever you decide x

 

[Becci_Boo86]

Thanks Ladies for all ur info its given me and hubby alot to think about. I know he can Bond in many different ways but this is one way he personally would like to be able to bond with his son or daughter. He wants to be able to take some of the strain off me so he can feel just as tired and help me out as much as possible. He has said he wants to do everything a mother does cos he wants to be involved as much as possible. He will be off for the first 3 weeks once baby is born and he just wants to make the most of it. i know tht breastfeeding on its own will be hard. I wasnt breast feed but hubby was and he really wants me to go for the breastfeeding but wanted to know about the expressing for him aswell as me having a break at night or during the day.

He is just so loving all he wants is the best for me and baby.

xx

 

[CordeliaJ]

I will start expressing after a few weeks, maybe 4, will see how it goes. Obviously you can't know whether expressing is going to be difficult or easy for you, as it varies a lot, but breast milk can be frozen. I don't see why you'd have to do it every 2 hours everyday when it can be stored (perhaps you would need to do it that regularly if you aren't producing huge amounts, I guess I will find out soon enough).

My DH wants to bottle feed baby expressed milk. It's not just bonding, that's what he wants to do, and I'm not going to deny him that chance unless I am not able to express for whatever reason. All babies and breasts are different, a friend of mine's baby would never ever take the breast, even from birth. She had help from lots of consultants and specialists but her baby just didn't like breastfeeding so she had to exclusively express. You just never know what's going to happen, so I'd say just have a vague idea of what you want to do, and wait and see how it works out.

 

[CatherineK]

Your husband really needs to know that giving you a break at night is not that simple, if he wants togive baby a bottle, you will still
Need to get up and pump, or your body will not know to produce at that time. Just like pregnancy, there are some things about baby that only mom can do- there is so much more he can do to give you a break and bind without a bottle. I know it sounds blunt, but his pushing to give baby a bottle before it is best (since you seem to want to breast feed) may cause you more difficulty in the long run. I am in no way against expressing- I work full time, and pump 4 time a day for over a year for each baby. But those first weeks and months are the basis To develop a good supply, ad statistics show the more you breast feed directly, the more chance of success.

 

[Becci_Boo86]

My hubby isnt pushing me to give our baby a bottle its sumthing we have both talked about. Yes i would like to breastfeed and he would like tht too we are just thinking of different ways to help us both! He knows its not going to be tht simple and he knows tht its going to be very hard from day one. he is just trying to help like a nice helpful husband and daddy does!!

If it means i breast feed fully for 4 weeks or so then we express then we will do that. If baby dosnt like breast feeding then we will either express if i can or we will go onto forumla.

He is just wanting what is best. We are both wanting to enjoy this special time together as it has taken us 4 years to get where we are. Him wanting to help me in every way possible even if he cant i think is the best thing in the world!!

I'm think of getting the freezer bags just incase i can make more milk.

to be honest if for some reason i cant breast feed i wont beat myself up about it cos its just the way things happen and i cant change tht.

x

 

[aliss]

I pumped 24/7 with the 1st and swore I wasn't going to do that again. What *we* found wonderful was me laying in the bed doing a side-lie nursing position with OH spooning and just laying there resting with us (baby on my side of course). It was wonderful. Much nicer than me sitting milking myself like a cow on one side and then him using a plastic bottle (which was what we did the 1st time).

 

[Evana]

I plan to breast feed and express so DH (he wants to do it too) can learn to feed and bond with the baby as well ...

 

[Amberyll23]

There are lots of varying opinions out there and, at the end of the day, you are going to find that every woman and baby is different. Like I said, I had zero problems with DD1 both expressing and breastfeeding. That being said, my milk came in rather fast and in a rather abundant supply, so I never experienced any supply issues until later in the year during my period when it returned, but I was still able to go the full year with use of fenugreek. My daughter had zero issues with latching, zero issues with taking to both bottle and breast. I was also constantly in touch with a lactation consultant during the early weeks to make sure what I was doing was not going to harm my supply or cause any issues.

My BFF was not so lucky, she had latching issues with her DS right from the start and had to focus on that and getting breastfeeding established before she started to try and do both. It took her a while, and she has found it difficult and plans only to BF for six months as a result.

I am expecting DD2 next week, and if my milk comes in just as easily, and she takes to things just like her sister, I plan on doing the same thing. But every birth and baby is different, so if I have to wait/delay expressing, I will. I plan on continuing to keep in touch with the same lactation consultant I had for DD1, as she was awesome.

It is important to make sure your milk is in and supply is established and baby is not going to have nipple confusion. I highly recommend using a lactation consultant if a good one is available in your area. My DD's pediatrician recommended one to me and it was all covered by insurance.

 

[_Lexi_]

I started expressing for Jessica immediately. She wouldn't latch on, so I expressed 1ml into a syringe for her. The end of day 2 she was latching on. Day 3 she had to go under phototherapy lights for jaundice, and it was either formula, or express as we couldn't take her out from under the lights. We're now on day 10 and still breast feeding and expressing. Takes me 10/15 minutes to express enough for one full bottle, which at the moment is 2 feeds. Jessica is being a bit fussy about breastfeeding and will only nurse when we lay down together, so it's handy having bottles of milk, otherwise I'd never be able to leave the house. I know it's early days for us, but I'm getting along fine with both. Oh loves feeding her. At the moment we make sure I'm never the one to give her a bottle. There's been no confusion, but in her 10 days of life she's been fed by syringe, cup, breast and bottle. I don't really find sterilising a pain. Rinse pump and bottles in hot water, in steriliser, in the microwave for 6 minutes. Also means when people pop over, I don't have to disappear upstairs with her for half hour at a time to feed, and anyone can feed her. x

 

[Smiler82]

It has been really interesting reading this thread, lots of good advice - I had no idea you had to wait a few weeks before you should try expressing I thought you could do it after like a week!! I think the general message appears to be we each just have to find out what works best for us. Becci - my husband is just like yours, really wants to get involved in feeding but in no way is pushing me to express. Of course there are loads of ways dads can bond with babies but we've talked about it a lot too and he accepts that it could turn out that BFing is best, but if we can find a way for expressing to fit into our new lives as parents then that'd be great. I would LOVE to have the experience Amberyll23 had that would be amazing! Won't hold my breath though haha I don't really expect DH to be able to do more than 1 or 2 feeds a day anyway because of work, but even just 1 bottle a day he would love to be able to do that. Also I won't be beating myself up if I can't BF at all either. You just don't know what's going to happen and you have to go with what's right for you and your baby. I have friends who had to stop BFing for various reasons, and all of their husbands said being able to get involved in feeding was just such a great experience. Of course there are plenty of other things they can do but I think there's something quite intimate and special about sitting there, just you and your baby and satisfying their most basic need.

 

[butterflywolf]

As I read the entire thread I couldn't help but wonder if I am now alone in thinking this. I do not want baby to suck on my nipples. I just don't. Not even once to be honest. I just don't like the idea and it isn't for me. (Maybe I will chance my mind after birth but for now I don't want to). We want to just pump though. I didn't think you'd have to wait 4-6 weeks before doing it. Sadly that has me enough to be turned off to just go to formula.

I think I will still try and pump and see how it goes I suppose...but am I weird for not wanting baby to latch on at all?

 

[CordeliaJ]

As I read the entire thread I couldn't help but wonder if I am now alone in thinking this. I do not want baby to suck on my nipples. I just don't. Not even once to be honest. I just don't like the idea and it isn't for me. (Maybe I will chance my mind after birth but for now I don't want to). We want to just pump though. I didn't think you'd have to wait 4-6 weeks before doing it. Sadly that has me enough to be turned off to just go to formula.

I think I will still try and pump and see how it goes I suppose...but am I weird for not wanting baby to latch on at all?

I warn you now there are going to be replies from people asking you why not and reminding you it's natural etc.

I think if you don't feel comfortable with it, then that's ok. To be honest I'm a first time mum too and the thought makes me feel a bit weird as well, but, I am still going to breastfeed if I can, and I think a lot of those thoughts are because we have never experienced it before. I wouldn't rule it out until baby actually arrives, because you never know how you'll feel post-birth. For one thing I think exclusively expressing instead of breastfeeding or doing both, makes a lot of extra work for you when you may not want that or have the energy to do it. My advice would be to just wait and see how you feel, don't worry about being weirded out by it, I think it's natural when you haven't done it before.

 

[sue_88]

As I read the entire thread I couldn't help but wonder if I am now alone in thinking this. I do not want baby to suck on my nipples. I just don't. Not even once to be honest. I just don't like the idea and it isn't for me. (Maybe I will chance my mind after birth but for now I don't want to). We want to just pump though. I didn't think you'd have to wait 4-6 weeks before doing it. Sadly that has me enough to be turned off to just go to formula.

I think I will still try and pump and see how it goes I suppose...but am I weird for not wanting baby to latch on at all?

I don't think you are weird.

I am massively for breastfeeding, I have a nutritional degree in which I did a lot of research on the stuff and I can't wait to try and give me my baby milk that is perfectly designed for her.

That being said - do I have any idea what it's going to feel like to have a baby feed from me? Nope. Am I slightly freaking out at the thought and what it will feel like? Absolutely.

Just wait until little baby has arrived and then decide, if formula is for you, then formula is your choice.

 

[_Lexi_]

You might have to do what I did, which was express into tiny syringes until your milk comes in. Because Jessica just refused to latch, I hand expressed the colostrum and collected it in 1ml syringes which we then gave her. My milk came in properly on day 4 and I could then use a pump. If I'd of even tried pumping for the colostrum, because its such tiny amounts, most of it would of been lost in the machine. Collecting into a syringe is awkward, but I preferred that idea to giving her formula. I wasn't sure I wanted to breastfeed, found the idea a little weird, but I'm starting to enjoy the bonding time xx

 

[Becci_Boo86]

As I read the entire thread I couldn't help but wonder if I am now alone in thinking this. I do not want baby to suck on my nipples. I just don't. Not even once to be honest. I just don't like the idea and it isn't for me. (Maybe I will chance my mind after birth but for now I don't want to). We want to just pump though. I didn't think you'd have to wait 4-6 weeks before doing it. Sadly that has me enough to be turned off to just go to formula.

I think I will still try and pump and see how it goes I suppose...but am I weird for not wanting baby to latch on at all?

I dont think ur weird at all. i can see where u coming from cos sometimes i cant get my head around that i have milk in my boobs and it comes out of my nipple for baby to suck on to drink!!

My mum never once let any of us kids (4) suck on her nipples when we were born she said she didnt want to do it cos she felt like it was wrong and weird and we all turned out fine ( well me not sure on my bro and sisters lol )

at the end of the day u do what is best for u and baby and if u dont want to breast feed then u dont breast feed. Formula can just be as good yes its not as good as breast milk but it works fine. My sis in law had to give up breast feeding and my little niece is so clever for a 18month old. i dont think brains etc.. have anything to do with being breast fed at all.

xxx

 

[AP]

I posted a very similar thing once upon a time, when the time actually came, he was very proud i was breastfeeding and helped in other ways.

Ive exclusively expressed before and that was hard, and that was when my baby was in the hospital! When she came home, i just didnt have the time! Exclusively expressing is the hardest option out of them all, so you need to think about all the work thats going to go into it.

ETA: i read a few other posts and I can say I was very weirded out by the whole breastfeeding thing when pregnant with my first, but if you stay open minded you will be surprised at how you may feel at the birth!

Ive honestly done all, expressing, breastfeeding and formula, and I have nothing against any method as long as mum as happy and able to enjoy life with their babies

 

[annio84]

My sister had her little girl 4 weeks ago and the baby was a sleepy little thing and took a while to get the hang of latching on, had to go to neonatal unit etc and in the end my sister has just been expressing and bottle feeding because she was scared of not knowing how much baby had had. Luckily it's been going very well for her but I do know she's finding it tiring. Anyway, the point being that if you don't want to directly bf then it can work to start pumping straight away. Also plan all you like but whatever will happen will happen whether you like it or not!