Breastfeeding a newborn... how involved are your other children?

[Itsychik]

So I'm due with my second in February and have a toddler at home as well (who will be 2 years 8 months when new LO arrives).

My DS gets really possessive/jealous whenever DH or I play with other children or hold other babies, so I'm a little concerned about how he's going to react to his new little sister. I'm hoping to EBF but with my DS I LITERALLY spent hours and hours doing nothing else but nursing night and day, so I'm already a little apprehensive about finding the time to dedicate to building my supply up through nursing (as I had a low supply with my first and want to prevent that if possible this time) but also keeping my DS involved with both me and the new baby.

My DS was breast fed till 8 months so he doesn't remember any of that anymore, and I'm trying to think of the best approach to explaining to him about how mommy feeds the baby.

So I was wondering, for those of you with older children, how did you explain the process of bf'ing to your children when they got a new sibling? Did you make a point of showing your child what you were doing and explain you were feeding the baby? Did you just bf and wait for your child to approach you and ask? Did you explain beforehand? Did you try to give your child an active role (i.e. fetching a burp cloth, having your child sit/cuddle next to you, or something) when nursing?

And how did your child react?

Also curious for tandem nursers (although this doesn't apply for me, I'm just curious), how did your older child react to having to 'share' with the new baby?

I'm probably over thinking this but want to have a 'strategy' in my mind so I feel a little more prepared!

Thanks

 

[snowfia]

My DD's a bit younger. But she's been totally fine with DS feeding a lot.

I didn't explain before hand as I wasn't sure whether she would understand. But when I feed him she sometimes comes over and wants cuddles with DS. So I kind of half sit him on her so she can cuddle him and I can feed him :L Or if she doesn't want cuddles she still comes over and says 'baby's eating'. But she's not jealous.

I do tend to ask her to do things like draw me a picture of something or build me a house with her blocks or things like that which normally keep her occupied long enough to feed DS

 

[Julesillini8]

Well, my older daughter was 23 months when I had my second. The beginning weeks were rough, yes, as the newborn nurses frequently, and each nursing sessions takes forever! Plus getting up during the night, and not being able to " sleep when the baby sleeps" due to having a toddler. So it was challenging at first, i dont lie about things to sugar coat. but after a few weeks, my older daughter got used to it and it just became part of the daily routine and such. My baby is 5 months old now and she'll tell anyone who asks that the baby " doesn't have teeth for food. She likes booby milk". Hahah! By about two months the baby was an efficient nurser and only would take maybe 10 minutes each feeding and fed much less frequently so try to survive the first few weeks, I promise it gets better.
As for those first few weeks, I bought some sticker packs, books, coloring books, and a few special toys that I kept away and only came out when I nursed the baby. It kept my toddler occupied for part of the time, as these were new and novel toys/ things that weren't laying around the house like the rest of her things. Maybe make up a box like this to help keep your little boy busy during the harder days?
I love nursing and am enjoying the bond with my second as much as I did with my first. It is definitely worth gutting it out!

 

[Julesillini8]

Oh, and no, I didn't talk about it with my toddler beforehand. She wouldn't have had the slightest clue what I was talking about. We always talked about a baby coming home and that it was growing in mommy's belly, and she really couldn't understand that even, until the baby was literally home. Yours will be older thou so may understand what you explain better, but I didn't really talk about it much, just told her about feeding the baby when it happened.

 

[Clo]

Ds1 is 2.5 and I explained to him that baby needs milk that comes from mummy's boobies. He understood fine and now tells people that 'i get my cows milk from the fridge and baby gets his from mummy's boobies' lol.

Also if Ds2 starts crying he will tell me 'mummy he needs milk from your boobies'.

He was always jealous of me holding other babies before Owen came along but it seems to be different now he is here and he loves his baby brother. I do get him to help me out by passing me a muslin etc and we have also sat and read books together or watched videos on my phone while
I'm feeding Owen.

He does get fed up on occasion but I just try to make sure I do something with him once his brother is asleep xxx

 

[Itsychik]

Thanks for all of the responses