breastfeeding and 'freedom!'

[flump1]

So I kinda feel guilty for writing this thread and asking this question!

I only breastfed my son for 10 days and then he was bottlefed but even though he was bottle fed I still never really left him or spent anytime away at all from him even now and he is 2yrs9m (its a long story but my husband didn't deal well with the adjustment of becoming a father and basically refused to look after LO at all for any length of time till he was at least a year and even then he would only watch him for an hour or two at the most if there was something I was going out to do) I also am not comfortable with LO being passed from pillar to post round random people just so I can go and have fun I personally just didn't feel comfortable with that.

So now I have a gorgeous new 5 week old daughter who im breastfeeding (its going great!) and intend to breastfeed till hopefully at least 6 months+. The only thing that is giving me doubts about our breastfeeding journey at the moment is how I go about having some 'freedom'. I feel so bad as I never really left my son and feel like it makes me sound as though I want to get away from my daughter but as iv had almost 3 years already of not really doing anything for myself or pursuing any of my hobbies I really feel I cant go on like this for much longer. I was a very active person doing dance classes, horse riding ect. before children and now I feel I have nothing that truly makes me feel like me (apart from the mummy version of me) and I just think I could be a better wife and mother if I can get back to feeling myself sometimes.

Sorry for the long winded post but my main question is
'Is it possible to have some 'me' time as an ebfeeder? how do you deal with finding the time? and what age do you feel you could escape for some time away.
my LO feeds every 1-3 hours at the mo and will not take a dummy, I worry if I leave her she will start screaming and there's no way to stop her if you don't have a boob lol! I have been reading lots of posts on the internet that even babies 6-9 months old still feed every 2 hours through the day eek that terrifies me!

 

[flump1]

Just thought id add that my husband is now a lot more comfortable as his role as a father and is willing to take care of both children so its just a case of when iam ready to leave my newborn..

 

[missk1989]

You could express and leave a bottle. I introduced one from your los age every other day just to get him used to it and then I left him for 2 hours to do xams shopping when he was 8 weeks old and properly for the first time when he was 5 months old so we could go to a concert.

 

[FarmMom]

I've been working since 12 weeks so away from LO a lot. We introduced a bottle by 6 weeks. DH would give her one every couple of days so she was ready when I went back to work. Pumping is a pain to do regularly but not for the occasional bottle.

My daughter usually eats every 3 hours at 4.5 months... Most of the babies in her daycare are the same. She sometimes eats more frequently when i'm around, i think because she smells milk.

 

[shinona]

I suppose it depends how long you want to be away for and how far away. If it's only an exercise class near by then I'd time it so that you feed before you go and she'll likely be ok til you're back. I never expressed for either of mine and used to do this instead.
And while some babies might feed every 2 hours at 6-9 months, most will go 3 if not 4 hours or even longer when they're eating solids too.

 

[BigAl]

My lo was down to 2 or 3 feeds a day by 10m (and was not a big food eater either), so you never know what later they will follow.

I think by 6m you will probably feel confident enough to leave for a couple of hours. They won't starve, as horrible as that sounds. But the small baby phase will pass quickly enough, even if it doesn't feel it.
Good luck.

 

[MommyJogger]

It might not be what you're looking for in terms of "me" time, but even before lo is at an age where you can leave for a few hours, it can really help to find some active mom groups. Mommy and me yoga/pilates and walking/jogging mom clubs are a great way to get active again, have some adult conversation, meet new friends, and just generally feel like you're doing something for yourself. You can find them on facebook or on websites for local YMCAs/community centers. I found that there were lots of ways, by involving groups of moms and babies, that I could feel refreshed without actually leaving DS.
I went back to work at 6w, but didn't want to waste the milk/time with DS by going out without him for long periods on evenings or weekends. By about 6 mo, even though he was still a frequent nurser and not at all into solids yet, I felt much more confident that I could be gone for a few hours and he wouldn't really need me.
I think having running as my preferred activity was a real boon, though. I could go out for loops and just keep doing as many as I could get in until he decided he was ready for some mommy and then go right back out again after he nursed if I needed to get more mileage in. If you could get into diy activities like running and biking, I think you'll find it much easier to finagle being active in the early days when you're unsure how long lo can really manage to go without you.

 

[noon_child]

I expressed milk so that others could feed her, but in reality she didn't always want just 'food' but also the cuddles and comfort of breastfeeding, so I just ended up doing most of it as it was easier.

 

[catty]

I have been out without her a few times and just leave bottles of expressed milk. IMO it is good to get them used to a bottle (but not before 6 weeks) as alot of babies end up being bottle refuses if not. Even If I ament going anywhere OH still gives her 1 bottle a week just to make sure she will still take it.

 

[patch2006uk]

After 3 months, they can have a cup, so we've never worried about bottles with either of ours. I'm starting a BSL course on Saturday, and will be leaving my 6 month old and 3yr old for 4 hours - there is a break in between where DH will bring the baby for me to feed, but hopefully other than that it'll be ok. We've started BLW now, so hopefully that will keep him distracted if he does get too upset for me. I've found both times that the first 4 months are very full on, and then it eases off quite quickly. I wouldn't want to be far away from the baby yet, but I do feel that I can leave him for a couple of hours. I went to the cinema when DS1 was 7 months old, and he fed hourly until 6 months.

I'd personally say to stick with the status quo until 6 months if you can (but get your OH to watch the kids elsewhere but in the same house, so you can have half an hour to read or listen to music), and then you'll probably find it easier to separate once solids start to play a role (no matter how minor) It just frees you up from being the main food source x

 

[luna_19]

My lo never took a bottle. I was able to get away for about 1.5 hours to go to yoga starting st 2 months, now I can get away for 3-4 hours easily since he eats plenty of solids. The only thing I would have done differently was keep offering bottles (he did have them for the first two weeks or so when I had to pump and supplement) and leave him with people so he was comfortable. Our biggest challenge right now isn't the leaving him without milk but leaving him with someone he considers a stranger

 

[Literati_Love]

You should absolutely take time for you! We let my parents watch my baby for us to go out for supper when she was 3.5 weeks old. She breastfeeding VERY frequently but I just fed her immediately before we left and we only left for barely over an hour. We checked our phone regularly in case we needed to come back sooner. She did absolutely fine and I fed her as soon as I got back. We did it again a week later but this time I brought pumped milk in case she got hungry. She took the bottle ok but you shouldn't wait too long to introduce it because otherwise they may refuse it! I will be taking an exercise class Monday evenings and will be gone for just over an hour while DH watches her. Tbh she hardly ever makes it an hour between feeds in the evening so I may have to pump just in case. I'm not remotely anxious to be away from my dd or anything... I would happily be with her constantly...but I think it's good for us to get a little break once in a while and do something for us!

 

[Hoping4peanut]

My hubby lets me hit the gym daily. It's in our building but it makes me feel good to get away for an hour. I also started doing church choir rehearsal.

My 11 week old us exclusively breastfed, refuses a pacifier and a bottle. She started sleeping 6 to 8 hours at night so I figure if she goes that long without food she can survive a few hours. I don't think she fusses as much too to eat when my milk smell is out of the house.

You have to do what makes you comfy

 

[flump1]

Thanks for all the replies! We are just getting through the 6 week growth spurt now so once thats over I think I will start trying to express and see if she will take a bottle from oh. She completely refuses a dummy so hope thats not a sign that she wont take a bottle! Id happily stay with her all the time but I know from experience from my son I will eventually get a bit frazzled and also its amazing how one or two hours away can make you feel so much more refreshed! I guess I just find it hard to get my head around leaving her this time being her source of food and she feeds so frequently but im pretty sure if im not here to smell she probs would happily wait a bit longer for it anyway!
Im hoping to try expressing next week so I will check back and let you know how I get on. Im thinking of taking an hour upstairs to have a bath to make sure she cant smell me to give oh a good chance. Only problem is convincing oh he is fine to look after her he keeps panicking at the moment when she cries he doesn't really know how to settle her down.

 

[irish_cob]

My baby will not contemplate a dummy but has a bottle when I'm not around so the two are not necessarily related x

 

[FarmMom]

My baby will not contemplate a dummy but has a bottle when I'm not around so the two are not necessarily related x

My daughter was the same when she was younger (now that she's in daycare, she takes either).