lunawaffles
new mom of 1
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Sorry this is so long, but this is something not many people know about, but they should, especially mothers and even doctors. Please take the time to read this to spread awareness about this disorder.
I have something called D-MER or Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex. This is when instead of having the "bonding" feeling when experiencing let down, instead one experiences dysphoria which ranges anywhere from depression, anxiety, or even feelings of anger or fear.
It's not a psychological disorder, and is not to be confused with clinical depression or postpartum depression. D-MER is a chemical and physical reaction in lactating women. When breastfeeding and experiencing let down, the chemicals involved are oxytocin, prolactin, and dopamine. What is believed to cause the dysphoria is possibly a light to heavy decrease in dopamine instead of an increase, causing negative emotions.
Those who have D-MER may feel a churning feeling in the pit of their stomach, homesickness, loneliness, wistfulness, or hopelessness. Some may feel anxiety, nervousness, or worry. In rare cases, it can even cause pangs of anger, panic, fear, or paranoia. These feelings, great or small, usually begin seconds to minutes before let down, and can last anywhere from minutes from that point to minutes after the feeding session is finished.
What makes D-MER unique from postpartum depression and breastfeeding aversion is that these feelings are directly related to the act of breastfeeding and let down. The emotional change does not occur other than when breastfeeding and only lasts until shortly thereafter.
Common misconceptions about D-MER include:
That is why I posted this- to spread awareness for women who may be suffering silently, who may think something is horribly wrong with them or think they may have postpartum depression. They shouldn't have to bottle it up or feel bad about it, because this is a lot harder to go through than people know.
I felt terrible and thought something was wrong with me for feeling dread whenever I would breastfeed, feeling like I wasn't a good enough mother for not immediately feeling some sort of mythical loving bond with my child while he was eating, like everyone said I was supposed to. But I love my son more than anything and with all my heart, and I still loved seeing him look up into my eyes while feeding, and when he would smile or make cute sounds. It doesn't make anyone a bad mother or a bad person, and there should be more support for those of us who may have thought otherwise at one point.
So, just by reading this and maybe remembering it, if you notice anything like this happening to a friend or family member, don't chalk it down to a mood disorder or breastfeeding aversion or baby blues every time- let them know this exist, tell them to ask their doctor or a lactation consultant, or do some research to see if the symptoms add up.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. If you do think you have this disorder, just know you are not alone and there are ways to help and even to get support. If you have any questions or just want to talk, feel free.
I have something called D-MER or Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex. This is when instead of having the "bonding" feeling when experiencing let down, instead one experiences dysphoria which ranges anywhere from depression, anxiety, or even feelings of anger or fear.
It's not a psychological disorder, and is not to be confused with clinical depression or postpartum depression. D-MER is a chemical and physical reaction in lactating women. When breastfeeding and experiencing let down, the chemicals involved are oxytocin, prolactin, and dopamine. What is believed to cause the dysphoria is possibly a light to heavy decrease in dopamine instead of an increase, causing negative emotions.
Those who have D-MER may feel a churning feeling in the pit of their stomach, homesickness, loneliness, wistfulness, or hopelessness. Some may feel anxiety, nervousness, or worry. In rare cases, it can even cause pangs of anger, panic, fear, or paranoia. These feelings, great or small, usually begin seconds to minutes before let down, and can last anywhere from minutes from that point to minutes after the feeding session is finished.
What makes D-MER unique from postpartum depression and breastfeeding aversion is that these feelings are directly related to the act of breastfeeding and let down. The emotional change does not occur other than when breastfeeding and only lasts until shortly thereafter.
Common misconceptions about D-MER include:
- Those suffering from it can "talk themselves out of it."
- It is linked to postpartum depression.
- It is a psychological disorder or mood disorder.
- It can easily be treated with medication.
That is why I posted this- to spread awareness for women who may be suffering silently, who may think something is horribly wrong with them or think they may have postpartum depression. They shouldn't have to bottle it up or feel bad about it, because this is a lot harder to go through than people know.
I felt terrible and thought something was wrong with me for feeling dread whenever I would breastfeed, feeling like I wasn't a good enough mother for not immediately feeling some sort of mythical loving bond with my child while he was eating, like everyone said I was supposed to. But I love my son more than anything and with all my heart, and I still loved seeing him look up into my eyes while feeding, and when he would smile or make cute sounds. It doesn't make anyone a bad mother or a bad person, and there should be more support for those of us who may have thought otherwise at one point.
So, just by reading this and maybe remembering it, if you notice anything like this happening to a friend or family member, don't chalk it down to a mood disorder or breastfeeding aversion or baby blues every time- let them know this exist, tell them to ask their doctor or a lactation consultant, or do some research to see if the symptoms add up.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. If you do think you have this disorder, just know you are not alone and there are ways to help and even to get support. If you have any questions or just want to talk, feel free.
