Breastfeeding in Public... When is it not ok?

[special_kala]

i am totally pro breastfeeding but sometimes its not about the breast feeding aspect of a story. You cant throw breast feeding into a situation and that just makes anything justified.

I have fed WIllow at a year old in a shop, not because she needed milk but honestly to shut her up, if shes being wingy and i need to get on. In this situation if i felt i needed to breastfeed a 8 month old i would have just put my bags down and fed her quickly standing up. Though honestly more times thn not a 8 month old can be calmed with a drink or some food.

Maybe this woman felt it would be more discrete if she fed sitting down or she felt faint but i dont think asking to sit down in a shop that is tiny like claires is practical, boob or no boob.

 

[socitycourty]

I NIP for 2 months, in a variety of places. never asked anyone for help, just found a place to sit down and do it. didn't feel like i had any special entitlement though, that's what these stories often end up sounding like. there's no need to BF in the middle of a tiny store. if there are no chairs, go to the car and do it. it's not always anti BF to expect people to have common sense

 

[Foogirl]

There is absolutely no situation where I wouldn't NIP. I don't think I'd ask for a chair in a teeny shop, but as dragonfly says, it's hard to second guess someone's motives if I don't know the full story.

I hate the whole "do it discretely" thing. As far as I'm concerned I was quite discrete. But I never used a cover or any special nursing clothes. The most I ever did was positioned my husband if a bit of my tummy was showing. If other people are offended that's their tough luck. And if they are at a funeral saying goodbye to a loved one, I'd have thought someone BFing would be the least of their woes. If someone is going to choose to divert their attention to person BFing "indiscreetly" or someone wearing a "too revealing outfit" (both of which are a matter of personal perspective) at a funeral, where one should be far more introspect then I suspect that person will be offended by a great many things no matter what anyone does.

 

[whit.]

And if they are at a funeral saying goodbye to a loved one, I'd have thought someone BFing would be the least of their woes. If someone is going to choose to divert their attention to person BFing "indiscreetly" or someone wearing a "too revealing outfit" (both of which are a matter of personal perspective) at a funeral, where one should be far more introspect then I suspect that person will be offended by a great many things no matter what anyone does.

Funerals are usually uncomfortable situations anyway. I'm pro-breastfeeding and it doesn't offend me to see someone breastfeeding but it might others. Yes, you (not you personally, just 'you' in general) can breastfeed where ever you want to but you can also choose to be respectful to the people who do get offended by a woman walking around with her shirt literally completely up and boob completely exposed. I personally don't think a funeral is a place for someone to not do it discreetly.

 

[special_kala]

People have different ideas of discreet My idea of discreet is no nipple on show other peopls idea will be no boob on show at all.

The only time ive only thought someone could have been more discreet was when a woman at the family centre finished feeding her 6 month old ish..put him down next to her, had a quick chat with him then put her breast away.

To me appeasing what other people are offended by is dangerous ground, not that long ago mixed race couple were widely seen as inappropriate, as was/is same sex couple obviously they are extreme examples but surely we should be fighting those mindframes rather then trying to justify them.

 

[NellyLou]

For me, this situation had nothing to do with whether or not she was discrete, or even feeding her baby really.... I just think it's somewhat rude to ask to have a chair in a tiny cramped little store when there are so many other options for her. If she was feeling faint or sick, that is different, but that doesn't appear to be the case.

 

[Button#]

I agree that breastfeeding shouldn't be hidden away and I would never feed my baby in the toilets, I won't even use breastfeeding cubicles. I even got a bit miffed when I was in a baby change room in the science museum sat on a chair waiting for my husband to change LO and a woman asked me to move so she could breastfeed her LO as 'there was nowhere to breastfeed'. There were 3 other chairs in the room (I was sat on the one in the corner) not to mention 3 cafes, 2 picnic areas and countless benches in the museum. I moved anyway but I hate seeing women who are so embarrassed about NIP.

 

[Foogirl]

People have different ideas of discreet My idea of discreet is no nipple on show other peopls idea will be no boob on show at all.

The only time ive only thought someone could have been more discreet was when a woman at the family centre finished feeding her 6 month old ish..put him down next to her, had a quick chat with him then put her breast away.

To me appeasing what other people are offended by is dangerous ground, not that long ago mixed race couple were widely seen as inappropriate, as was/is same sex couple obviously they are extreme examples but surely we should be fighting those mindframes rather then trying to justify them.

Yep. Totally agree. Some people are offended even at the idea of breastfeeding, no matter what is on show. How do you appease those people? In my experience, you are always going to piss someone off, you might as well be doing something you are comfortable with.

 

[MommyJogger]

lol, at that age, barring a meltdown, I would have taken the time to go somewhere with massage chairs. Def an odd location choice, it feels like we're missing a piece of the story here, but nursing in a Clair's wouldn't be ideal, chair or no.

 

[midori1999]

Well, presumably the staff in Claire's were happy to get the Mum a chair and only asked her to move once she had started breast feeding? I wouldn't ask for a chair, but if my LO (18 months old) wanted a BF then if I couldn't easily distract her and was browsing in the shop and had already picked out a few things, then I would just feed her stood up in the shop or if I really had to sit on the floor, but not everyone can nurse standing up or can sit on the floor. Maybe there was a big queue and she had a basket of stuff? Maybe she had a basket of stuff but wanted to choose something else and didn't want to leave the shop to feed her baby and then have to come back?

IMO, it is always ok to breast feed in public, including in supermarkets, restaurants, swimming pools, churches and funerals. If it isn't, the that implies there is something wrong with breast feeding. If people get embarrassed by it, then that is their own problem. I'm all for considering others, but I consider the need to feed or comfort a baby or child more important than the need not to embarrass someone who should never be embarrassed in the first place.

The more people just get on with breast feeding their baby, wherever they are, the more it will become normalised in our society.

 

[special_kala]

My issue with feeding in a swimming pool is I wouldn't eat in a swimming pool so don't think its appropriate to feed a baby in one. Seems a bit gross bits of food/milk floating about the place.

 

[Foogirl]

Yeah, not sure I'd do it IN a swimming pool, but I'd get out and do it poolside.

And really? Feed an 18month old standing up? I have visions of having arms like popeye! I think Abby was about a 8 or 9 months old when I stopped being able to do that - and she was a tiny girl!! At 18 months I definitely needed to sit!

 

[midori1999]

Its easy to breastfeed my toddler standing up. I just hold her on my hip. People carry toddlers Ll the time.

Baby swimming classes often encourage mums to BF during lessons if they need to. Plus, considering the amount of urine in public swimming pools, I wouldn't be worried about the chance of a bit of breastmilk in a pool filled with chlorine anyway. I breastfeed loads of places I wouldn't eat. I would never eat in a clothes shop, for example, myself.

To or not to or where to breastfeed really is a first world problem and people just need to get over it. Breastfeeding is a normal, natural thing and its so sad that as a society we've moved so far 'forward' that we find breastfeeding embarrassing.

 

[Foogirl]

Its easy to breastfeed my toddler standing up. I just hold her on my hip. People carry toddlers Ll the time.

Yes, I HAVE to carry my toddler all the time, so believe me I know it can be done. But maybe its because she doesn't sit on my hip that I can't see how feeding standing up is a simple thing to do.

Our swimming instructor also supports breastfeeding but suggests not doing it during the class as it often leads to babies being sick, apparently.

 

[lhancock90]

I think breastfeeding should be acceptable everywhere, i am more bothered by the chair thing, its difficult to FF without a seat but i wouldn't ask for one

At the moment though, i can't think of anywhere its not acceptable?

 

[suzib76]

If you take the breastfeeding out of the equation just for a second, would you ask for a chair and ff a baby so where like that? Would you pop open a jar or purée in a shop and start feeding an 8 month old? I certainly wouldn't, I would nip to the nearest cafe or just benches in the shopping centre, I wouldn't dream of sitting and feeding a child in a shop.

Now we can put breastfeeding back in, it seems this story has riled everyone because of the fact that the child was breastfed, but I wouldn't have fed in anyway one of my kids in the back of a shop

Babies don't go from perfectly ok to desperate for a feed that quickly, as a mum I always had an idea of when mine would need a feed and worked around it, but even if they did get fussy and need something without us planning for it, they always managed to wait until we got a seat in a cafe or something

 

[special_kala]

Willow for the first 4 months had no real pattern to her feeding nd went from 0-complete meltdown in about 40 seconds. Sometimes you cant plan around them.

but no i wouldnt ask for a chair to FF my baby in a shop. I might feed them there but wouldnt inconvienace anyone else to do so

 

[Foogirl]

yeah, I think at the age this child was though, it wasn't quite at the newborn stage.

 

[Jaylynne]

Not ok would be as a professor trying to make a statement BFing her sick toddler in front of a class...

Bf wherever you want as long as others are allowed the same privilege of looking away if it suits them.

 

[TwilightAgain]

Maybe the Mum had lots of shopping and didn't have anywhere to put things down? Maybe she had a basket full of things she wanted to buy but baby needed feeding?

Claire's accessories have chairs out anyway for those getting their ears pierced so it wouldn't have that big a deal for her to ask to use those providing no one was getting their ears done.