Breathing baby out vs. pushing

[Kiss08]

I'm doing hypnobirthing techniques to have my baby and one of the big things with hypnobirthing is breathing your baby out, not pushing/forcing it out.

I'm having my baby in a hospital in the US. All they ever talk about is pushing. How have people found medical professional react to not pushing? I feel like I'll get pressured.. I'm sure it's different at every hospital and with different staff there but I'm just trying to get a general idea of others' experiences.

 

[MindUtopia]

I never really got this whole breathing baby out but not pushing thing. I mean I get asking for no directed pushing (no one telling you when and how long to push, I think this must be what they mean!). But you can't not push, your body does it involuntarily and it's supposed to. But I do think no directed pushing is really important. Assuming you've not had an epidural, your body will just do it.

The UK is obviously very different when it comes to these things, but I just stated very clearly in my birth plan that no one was to tell me when, how or where to push and that I would push when my body needed to, and they didn't. Midwife just stood at the door or knelt near me on the floor but never said a word (or touched me) the whole time I was pushing (4 hours) other than to tell me she was about to use the doppler. If you're birthing somewhere a bit less natural birth focused, your best bet is to state it VERY clearly in your birth plan and make sure you have someone (partner or doula) who supports your wishes and will tell whoever to back off if they intervene too much. Also, it may not be possible due to finances/insurance/hospital policy, but hiring a midwife is probably the best way to guarantee this as the midwifery model of care tends to not be as pushy about directed pushing.

 

[imthatgirl]

I never really got this whole breathing baby out but not pushing thing. I mean I get asking for no directed pushing (no one telling you when and how long to push, I think this must be what they mean!). But you can't not push, your body does it involuntarily and it's supposed to. But I do think no directed pushing is really important. Assuming you've not had an epidural, your body will just do it.

I agree with this. I didn't have any of mine in the hospital so I didn't have any directed pushing. There was no way I could have stopped my body from pushing naturally though. It's what it's made to do.

Edited to add: I just thought of something... maybe "breathing baby out" means breathing while the body pushes naturally? Instead of *purple pushing*, holding your breath and pushing while counting to 10. I breathed through all of my pushes, but I was very definitely still pushing.

 

[tinytabby]

I wouldn't say that I breathed my baby out, but I waited till it was very clear to me that it was time to push and LO was out in about 3 contractions.

I made it clear that I was very scared of pushing for too long and so the midwife said she would only tell me to push if she thought it was time. I trusted her so much, when the time came I knew she was right because she took all her cues from me.

It's a really good idea to put his you feel in your birth plan and then also have a conversation on the day about your wishes too.

 

[solitaire89]

I think you'll need to state very clearly up front that you are not going to accept managed pushing (or "purple pushing" as it's so aptly called). There are a lot of women and sadly medics too who believe that the baby just won't come out unless the woman actively pushes. The reality of it is that if you were in a coma, your body would push the baby out without any active input - this is the foetal ejection reflex. This isn't to say that the urge to push is wrong at all I hasten to add!!

As for me - I didn't "push" at all... my body pushed I mean, I never had an urge to push like I was on the loo or any thing, but my body pushed which felt like being sick downwards (for want of a better explanation). Having said that, I had a home birth, and the midwives never once told me when/how to push. I'd also stated it in my birth plan that I didn't want any direction during pushing.

 

[aimee-lou]

I just hated it when giving birth to my first when people were counting at me! lol I was in a MLBU and still they felt the need to, but then again he took ages to descend and when he did his hand was up by his face so he needed to actually be pushed out otherwise he'd still be there now! lol

My 2nd fell out of me. I only had to give one little push and even then it was the 'pant through it' style of pushes that never get shown on the tv lol. My body and gravity did all the work with him. He didn't have any complications though (no hands up by his face here lol) and his size meant he was coming out whether I pushed or not.

Personally I would ask for no directed pushing too, unless baby wasn't progressing and you needed extra guidance for any reason. However, you cna hear your body much better than your MW so go by that and go with how your body wants the baby to come.

 

[Kiss08]

Thanks everyone for your responses. They've all been very helpful!!

So non-directed pushing, it is! Hopefully I get some understanding nurses/doctors that will work with me on that. It makes sense to push (or not) as your body directs, not some other person. I definitely want to avoid the purple pushing!

 

[tinytabby]

Are you doing hypnobirthing or yoga? I felt these helped me stay very relaxed and in tune with my body.

Edited - reread your original post - hypnobirthing is great. You will know when your baby is coming!

 

[Kiss08]

Are you doing hypnobirthing or yoga? I felt these helped me stay very relaxed and in tune with my body.

Edited - reread your original post - hypnobirthing is great. You will know when your baby is coming!

I do both! I'm excited about birth. Though I still have a few months...

 

[tinytabby]

Are you doing hypnobirthing or yoga? I felt these helped me stay very relaxed and in tune with my body.

Edited - reread your original post - hypnobirthing is great. You will know when your baby is coming!

I do both! I'm excited about birth. Though I still have a few months...

I found labour and birth exciting.

 

[Dtswife]

I plan to not push during crowning and birth of the head - is that what they're talking about?

Will push as I feel the need prior to crowning. No directed pushing.

 

[d_b]

I did hypnobirthing as well. The nurses automatically started coaching me so I asked them to stop. I was still pushing, I couldn't help it! But i wasnt holding my breath during it.

This is the one part about hypnobirthing that I look back on and dont really understand how it is possible. For #1 my body just wanted that baby out and I think you should listen to your body. But I'll try again with #2 in a few months

 

[Kiss08]

Yeah, I don't really understand how it works. My understanding is that your body has a natural pushing mechanism so if you just stay relaxed and go with what feels right, the baby will naturally descend down the birth canal. I think the intent is that you don't push hard on command not that you don't naturally push with your body at all.

 

[tinytabby]

I did hypnobirthing as well. The nurses automatically started coaching me so I asked them to stop. I was still pushing, I couldn't help it! But i wasnt holding my breath during it.

This is the one part about hypnobirthing that I look back on and dont really understand how it is possible. For #1 my body just wanted that baby out and I think you should listen to your body. But I'll try again with #2 in a few months

That's what I was trying to say. I was so relaxed it just kind of happened. A really short phase of pushing when the time came.

 

[aimee-lou]

I think it helps to think of having a baby in these sort of terms.

Your body spends 9 months growing this 'foreign body'. When the time comes the body will literally try to eject that foreign body. It contracts to open the door and to force the baby to go through it. It will then 'push' the baby out in order to re-gain the space to make further babies.

A baby is highly unlikely to remain in-utero indefinitely, and the body is programmed to literally 'evict' the baby when the time is right.

In most cases therefore intervention and counting incessantly shouldn't be necessary. The body will do what it wants to do, and it's the mother's job/honour to listen, and follow those instructions.

I agree it's weird when your body just does it on it's own. I screamed at my hubby 'Oh my god, I'm pushing' as the transition from painful contractions to intense pressure was instant (Eddy fell through my pelvis so you can imagine it was like a lead weight was suddenly sat there lol) and I went from 7cm to crowning in a matter of minutes! It's a nice feeling though, as I find the 'pushing' stage to be very empowering after the hours of contractions which can sometimes feel like 'pain with no gain' in the words of my midwife lol.

 

[misslissa]

I'm hypnobirthing too and I have requested in my birth preferences that I will breathe baby down not push baby out. It just means that you breathe as the baby naturally descends, no forced pushing. Your body will naturally expel/push the baby down and you go with it.

It's my first baby and it all sounds very logical to me, a baby will come out even if the mum is unconscious!

Although I am nearly due and hating the thought of induction.

 

[Lilllian]

I never pushed ONCE with my first baby- not once- I told my midwives I wanted to breath the baby out (they were v supportive) and I DID! just breathed through the contractions and didn't need to push (breathed in the gas and air and felt myself open up)! not everyone is the same and i never had the urge to push as others mention. i could feel myself opening up with each contraction. With my second (8 weeks ago) I had to push ONCE at the end as the head went back in and midwife asked me to for this reason. it was a horrible feeling for me but i pushed and then he was born. if he hadn't gone back in i would not have pushed again and think the midwifes were a bit worried as I was at home. you don't need to push!!!!!! oh and no stitches both times!

ps. gross, but i practiced whenever i needed to poo- it's a similar thing!

 

[misslissa]

I never pushed ONCE with my first baby- not once- I told my midwives I wanted to breath the baby out (they were v supportive) and I DID! just breathed through the contractions and didn't need to push (breathed in the gas and air and felt myself open up)! not everyone is the same and i never had the urge to push as others mention. i could feel myself opening up with each contraction. With my second (8 weeks ago) I had to push ONCE at the end as the head went back in and midwife asked me to for this reason. it was a horrible feeling for me but i pushed and then he was born. if he hadn't gone back in i would not have pushed again and think the midwifes were a bit worried as I was at home. you don't need to push!!!!!! oh and no stitches both times!

ps. gross, but i practiced whenever i needed to poo- it's a similar thing!

Great stories, I'm practicing the birth / J breaths too. Hope it all goes smoothly. I've been getting a bit anxious as I'm due in a few days and reality is kicking in. Anxiety is not good for hypnobirthing so I need to get back in my hypno mindset!

 

[Larkspur]

This is the one part about hypnobirthing that I look back on and dont really understand how it is possible. For #1 my body just wanted that baby out and I think you should listen to your body. But I'll try again with #2 in a few months

Yeah... when I got to the pushing part, I was like "Breathe the baby out, WTF?!?!" That baby was NOT coming out without some serious effort!

Pushing was actually the most enjoyable part of labour for me. It was a relief!

 

[Jenegade]

I didn't quite get that idea my first time either, my body was pushing and there's nothing I could do about it, I just breathed through the contractions. He was out very quickly, with no pain relief. I just wanted to add that I included a bit in my birth plan saying that I didn't want any directed pushing, I would do what I naturally felt like at the time. The midwives were great and never once told me to push. x