Building confidence

[OmarsMum]

I am stuck, I tried everything! He is driving me insane!

At home he is very loud, he shares ideas, he is very smart, he comes up with new games, he is social , etc

At school it is totally different! He doesn't know the name of children in his class, he doesn't participate or raise his hand to answer, all what they're learning is basic for him, he knows it all but he does not participate unless he is pushed or asked directly to do so!

I even started to invite a friend over to our place after meeting his mum at school , they are getting along very well, but his friend told me yesterday that he refuses to play or talk to him at school!

Today his key teacher was giving certificates to some children at class, Omar was really upset as he didn't get one, I ended up with a grump then he went on crying at home.

I texted his teacher and asked about those certificates, she told me that those are for IB profiling, Omar fits in some of the profiles but he does not speak up or participate and she can't pick him up for profiling if he does not try to show what he knows

They are trying with him at school, this is his second year there! He likes it there, he is doing well academically but all his report was about his social interaction challenges in class!

He makes friend easily outside school but at school he finds it challenging.

He started karate classes few week back and he is doing well, the coach is working on his social issues, the older children are very helpful and they try to engage him in activities.

I feel stuck , I don't know what to do!

 

[alibaba24]

My daughter also struggles socially but sounds like your son only has the issues at school. Could it be that hes concentrating so hard in school that he finds it difficult to multi task ? I dont really have any ideas to be honest My daughter is starting school this summer and I am afraid I am going to have similar issues ahead of me . I think all we can do is keep trying to encourage them best we can

 

[aimee-lou]

I think that this is something that he will have to learn by himself. Omar is incredibly bright so maybe he 'feels' isolated by the fact that he's bored by the company of his peers or by the basic level of the academics he's learning. I would explain that for example the certificates, are for children who engage in class. If he puts his hand up, offers to help his teacher/others and generally joins in, he'll get to take home certificates and other accolades more frequently. He may not come around straight away, but I don't think that social things can be forced otherwise you're opening him up for more not less confidence issues. I think it sounds like you're giving him plenty of opportunity to interact and participate, and I'm sure the teachers will be doing their best to involve him or encourage him to answer questions etc, but sometimes you just have to let them find their own way. I'm pretty certain that in a few months time once others in his class start operating at his level or he decides to open himself up more, he'll improve. Don't forget though that sometimes children who are very able, hide their light under a bushel for one reason or another. Or they may just not enjoy it or be shy. This is fine too. I was shy as a child, but 12 school moves in 6 years meant I had to get over it to some extent. My coping strategy was to throw myself into the school work, and being 'helpful'. Yes, ok, I was usually called teacher's pet, but I was happier doing that than attempting to make friends with people I had little in common with.

Try not to worry too much about him. Gentle encouragement will get you further I feel.

 

[RachA]

^^^ WSS totally.