I was bullied so badly when pregnant by my manager it caused me to have a breakdown even to the point where I wanted to end my own life infact tried
.
It angers me still so much
.
I was young (19) and pregnant I told my manager who was fine at first then started on me as soon as I got to 12 weeks pretty much. I told her I had my 12 week scan she on a Friday which coincided with the day I work she told me I either wasn't allowed to go or had to have it out of my holiday, I knew she was wrong but went home to do a bit a research to back myself up and I spoke to a different manager who said to me "yes you are right, she's not allowed to do this" and changed it for me. From then really I was victimised everyday from the moment I started to the moment I finished.
I work in a well known fashion store for women in one of the busiest shopping centres in the southeast on a Saturday night on the show section on my own as since I told her she took everyone else off my cection on put them on other departments. Bare in mind Aswell as pregnant I also have scoliosis. I was left for 4 hours made to carry heavy boxes 2 and frow on my own. In my first risk assessment I was told no heavy lifting but she would shout at me infront of customers I was shit scared of her
.
On my next risk assessment I explained to the supervisor the night shifts were getting to much for me as I was being sick constantly and fainting (i didnt know at the time just how sick i really was) she agreed to get me taken off them and left a note for the store manager explaining this. Aswell as writing in my assessment what was going to happen.
Nearly a week later the new Rota was up and I hadn't been taken off by now I was feeling awful constantly I spoke the store manager who shouted at me and belittled me infront of the store saying she needed it in writing from me and that it takes 12 weeks to change my shift (despite the risk assessment which I explained also to her) or if I didn't like that to drop the hours to cut the Saturday I was to rough to argue so agreed to drop the Saturday.
Leading up to the next incident there's was digs everyday about how stupid I was a silly bitch by now I was a bag of nerves
. I was I'll enough already but now I was getting worst as I wasn't sleeping where is was worrying to much about the next day, my dad would drop me at work shaking and unable to talk
. But I didn't tell him why at first.
My morning sickness was awful... One day I nearly threw up on the shop floor so ran to the loo on the way out she stopped me and in her word "what the f**k do you think your doing" I appoligiesd and explained that I had to run to be sick she then went on to accuse me of trying to go out the back to steal as I didn't ask to go to the loo to be sick and then said I need to stop treating pregnancy like a disability telling me to grow up
.
Then I would hide and cry in the corner.
In April was my 20th birthday and my oh was taking me away I and put my holiday form in the previous year I had it back signed for over 6months.... I was put on the rota to work for some reason I asked the deputy (who had now started ganging up on me with the bitch ) and he said tough you'll have to work i said I'm really sorry but I can't this has been booked and paid for for months he had no proof of my holiday form as now It had miraculously disappeared
. So I rushed home and brought my copy in which they gave me back. He then went on to call me the company let down etc
.
My sickness was so bad I was in hospital at one point because I phoned in 1 minute after 8am (no lie 1 min) they gave me a counselling and a disaplinary.
On my counselling they put I need to take better care of my health and my lifestyle
. I'm pregnant not coming in with a hangover!
Another time I had pains in my stomach I was doubled over and very scared I asked if I could go home and she laughed at me and said yes stop being over the top as I walked out I could see in mirror infront she was laughing and sniggering to the deputy.
By now I was a wreck my oh would come home to find me in the corner shaking crying and screaming that I wanted to die! I don't wanna be pregnant
.
They refused me my breaks made me lift still even though i wasn't meant to I was constantly told loads of fpeople would love your job stop being ungreatful and that we was all easy to replace.
The deputy said he needed to have a meeting with me one day as he was annoyed with me that I and a doctors appointment that afternoon as an emergency as I kept fainting etc.... I was called in the office now bare in Mind I was petrified. I though no this cant carry on. He said that I'd let the colleagues sown by going to appointment how my baby isn't important to them as they have a buisness to run. To which I said I'm very sorry but to me my baby's health and mine comes first if there's something wrong I'd never forgive myself for not going. He then went onto my morning sickness saying morning sickness is a controllable illness and that I should pull myself together. I said I wish! Some mornings I can't even lift my head where I feel so ill....... His reply well perhaps you should of thought about that before you got yourself in that state holly are you really cut for this ask yourself... I couldn't believe it!!
The last straw was about a month later I'd say may probably.i got left alone again on the shoe department a pair of shoes from the top shelf fell and smashed onto my foot immediately it came up in a massive bruise to scared to report it, I carried on with my day in agony. At 5 I went down to the car where my dad was waiting and he said I needed to report it and told me to go straight back up which I did. The manager and deputy were talking in the corner. I went over and and explained and said my dad told me it needs reporting Incase I've broke it etc.... Her reply to me " how does your dad know its broken ? What a waste of my time? So it feel broken to you? Does it!" I went I don't know it hurts to walk she then looked me really quite threatening "I suggest you go home and have a good think about it before reporting it"
I did report to hr they did nothing infact I heard my manager on the phone to them slagging me off " she had dealt with pregnant women like me before so ill just have to deal with it"
Well I never went back... I was sobbing and shaking threatening to kill myself my mum was I tears as she's never seen me like it she phoned to speak to her as I was I to much of a state. She was so rude to my mum.
My oh Tom caught me ripping my hair out in clumps, screaming I wanted to die
I was so mentally unstable because of them.
My doctor signed me off they refused me sick pay for the rest of my pregnancy and also refused me maternity pay!i blame the for my PND
anxiety, and post traumatic stress disorder that im now suffering with everyday! for the temper I have they are the cause I was never like this before ever! I a, a changed person very angry and snappy to those that care and I wish I wasn't!
The only reason I've gone back is because she's left but now I've found out she is pregnant and I know it's nasty but I really hope she's treated the way she treated me just o she knows what it feels like for one second!
I'm now signed off work again for another relapse which started last week. My antidepressants are back on and at a max dose! I'm recieving therapy once a week!
I'm so depressed some days are a blurr even getting out of bed is a struggle.....
Please don't be beaten by bully's like I let them do it to me.... I struggle with everyday life because of it and its taring my relationship apart and I can't care for my precious daughter at the moment because of it all
Xxxxxxxx
the list goes on....
work is such a big part of life and no-one deserves to feel like that about it xx
And I wish I'd never have left 
.
