I applied to be a foster carer in August 2009 and was approved in January 2010.
The assessment is intrusive and at times unpleasant but it's what one has to do so I guess the thing is just to be prepared to have every inch of your life picked over.
Before I applied I didn't do enough research into different agencies and simply applied to the same agency my friend (a long-term foster carer) is with. This was a huge mistake. Some agencies are appalling and offer no supprt at all - but I'll get into that in a second. Believe me, the best way to find out about the agencies is to look at their ofsted reports and select one which has had several years of "outstanding". And even then, you can't guarantee it won't be a nightmare.
By the way I'm not trying to put you off - fostering is one of the best things I ever did - but I wish somebody had been able to tell me what the real deal is like beforehand so I would have been better prepared for how stressful it would be.
Once I was approved I got children almost immediately, but I know people who have waited up to two years for a placement, and others who get on the wrong side of their agency or the local authority and somehow find themselves without a placement (despite daily adverts in the press begging people to become foster carers).
The first children I had were absolutely delightful. One of them had anger issues but he wasn't violent or anything, just that he was 10 and had major tantrums like a toddler.
My link worker (the social worker from the agency who is supposed to supervise me, support me, advise me and advocate on my behalf) was beyond useless. The children were only with me for two weeks but during that time they were shunted from one social worker to another and in that 2 weeks I dealt with a total of 5 different social workers acting for the children. The social workers failed to communicate with me properly - not telling me when I was supposed to be somewhere with the children, not telling me when pre-arranged appointments and parental contact was changed, leaving me to do things which should never have been my responsibility in the first place (when you're new you just do as you're told because you don't know any better, and this is where the link worker's supposed to come in).
Anyway, my second placement was two children under 5 and they were from a very difficult background. They were from a larger family so the rest of their siblings were spread out amongst 3 other carers.
One of them was extremely aggresive, violent and destructive (I have the scars to prove it!) as well as engaging in dangerous behaviour - and you're not allowed to restrain or touch them even if they're assaulting you. Me, the school, the GP, and the local authority paediatrician, as well as the case review officer all thought he should go for a mental health assessment so he could access things like therapy/counselling or whatever, but the mental health services would only accept a referral from the social worker (if he was my own child it would have been acceptable from a GP). The social worker, who was unhelpful, obstructive, and downright unhelpful for the whole placement refused to do the referral and whilst he made great strides in sme areas, his violence and aggression actually got worse as he got older. In the end I had him for almost a year before I handed him back because everything in my house was getting trashed and smashed on a daily basis, not to mention the fact that I was getting physically attacked daily by the child.
The sad thing is, I really cared about this kid and I was the first bit of stability he'd had his whole life but without professional help there was nothing more I could do for him other than be his punching bag. I took a week off and went away and the respite carer refused to take them again. They also caused her to crash her car and the same happened to me.
He and his brother also had other problems and did not get the help they should have been entitled to with regards to that. I really fought for them but sadly everything has to be signed off by their social worker and if she/he refuses to sign anything, there's nothing you can do. And you don't want to make a complaint too lightly because if you fall out with the local authority or your agency you may not get another placement again.
Anyway, his brother was with me for about 15 months until the placement finally ended but that year and a half that I fostered was the best and worst year and a half of my life. It was so stressful not being able to help these children and fighting and fighting and fighting just to get their basic rights (and still getting nowhere), but I know I made a difference to their lives, so it was totally worth it and I will foster again eventually.
I feel as though social services just writes off these kids and assumes they'll go straight from the social care system to the prisons system at 16, which really makes me mad, especially when I'm dealing with under 5s!
mostly i am worried about them not liking us based on age .. i am 23 oh is 24 will be 25 by time we are done 
Otherwise what is the point in the rules!
and no you are right 
that way his job will be secure, and we will have enough ££ coming in 
shock
