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I am exploring the very real possibility of my only two birth choices being a hospital birth or a freebirth, and I'm having a lot of anxiety around both options.
There is only one midwife within two hours (to my knowledge) who does homebirths, and someone who is on a maternity coalition with her told me she is no longer taking clients. I've contacted the midwife, who is currently on holiday, to find out for sure either way. I am waiting for her to get home and contact me.
If she is not taking clients, I can try a couple of midwives who are two hours away, but as my second birth was 1 1/2 hours from 3cm-placenta and my first birth was 1 1/2 hours from 4cm-when I felt the urge to push (I delayed things quite a lot by listening to the midwife who instructed me not to push for two hours :/) I really dont think a midwife from that distance would arrive in time. And they all might not be taking clients either anyway as our maternity care is in crisis here, and the end of June marks the end of the insurance exemption for independent midwives, meaning that home birth will be illegal except through one of the few and far between hospital home birth programms, and as I am due less than two weeks before the cutoff date they may not accept me. And then of course there is the cost. We'd be looking at $2500-3500 out of pocket, and when our income is only $30000 a year that's a lot of money.
So at brings us to our dilemma. Even though I had two positive hospital births, another one is not an option for me after spending weeks fighting with the hospital to be allowed to birth my baby breech, and at 40 weeks I transfered my cafe to a hospital 3 hours away. And while I had an easy birth there with no time for interventions or to bemoan the lack of anything but a hospital bed to labour on (not on my back fortunately) post birth I was bullied and belittled and had unnecessary things done to my daughter against my written and verbal consent. As a result the hospital is so not an option. Maybe if I could guarantee a low risk pregnancy that would tick the boxes to be allowed the nice new birth suite with a pool (water birth only finally allowed last month) I would consider it, but obviously there is no such guarantee.
Freebirth makes me anxious as well. However last week in started having dreams that the midwife didn't make it to the birth in time (before I found out she might not take me as a client) and that for me thinking of being prepared for a UC, which for me thinking about the possibility of just outright planning one. The more freebirth stories I read the more I do start to consider it as an option, but I am still very anxious about it. And I doubt my husband would for it at all. He's only barely on board with the idea of a homebirth at all.
So, after that essay, were you anxious about the idea of a free birth or did it just seem right to you? Were your partners on board from the start or did they take convincing? What ended up convincing them?
What resources did you find most helpful in preparing for a feebirth?
Any other comments welcome
Thanks!
There is only one midwife within two hours (to my knowledge) who does homebirths, and someone who is on a maternity coalition with her told me she is no longer taking clients. I've contacted the midwife, who is currently on holiday, to find out for sure either way. I am waiting for her to get home and contact me.
If she is not taking clients, I can try a couple of midwives who are two hours away, but as my second birth was 1 1/2 hours from 3cm-placenta and my first birth was 1 1/2 hours from 4cm-when I felt the urge to push (I delayed things quite a lot by listening to the midwife who instructed me not to push for two hours :/) I really dont think a midwife from that distance would arrive in time. And they all might not be taking clients either anyway as our maternity care is in crisis here, and the end of June marks the end of the insurance exemption for independent midwives, meaning that home birth will be illegal except through one of the few and far between hospital home birth programms, and as I am due less than two weeks before the cutoff date they may not accept me. And then of course there is the cost. We'd be looking at $2500-3500 out of pocket, and when our income is only $30000 a year that's a lot of money.
So at brings us to our dilemma. Even though I had two positive hospital births, another one is not an option for me after spending weeks fighting with the hospital to be allowed to birth my baby breech, and at 40 weeks I transfered my cafe to a hospital 3 hours away. And while I had an easy birth there with no time for interventions or to bemoan the lack of anything but a hospital bed to labour on (not on my back fortunately) post birth I was bullied and belittled and had unnecessary things done to my daughter against my written and verbal consent. As a result the hospital is so not an option. Maybe if I could guarantee a low risk pregnancy that would tick the boxes to be allowed the nice new birth suite with a pool (water birth only finally allowed last month) I would consider it, but obviously there is no such guarantee.
Freebirth makes me anxious as well. However last week in started having dreams that the midwife didn't make it to the birth in time (before I found out she might not take me as a client) and that for me thinking of being prepared for a UC, which for me thinking about the possibility of just outright planning one. The more freebirth stories I read the more I do start to consider it as an option, but I am still very anxious about it. And I doubt my husband would for it at all. He's only barely on board with the idea of a homebirth at all.
So, after that essay, were you anxious about the idea of a free birth or did it just seem right to you? Were your partners on board from the start or did they take convincing? What ended up convincing them?
What resources did you find most helpful in preparing for a feebirth?
Any other comments welcome
Thanks!
