Can’t trust my husband with baby

[MrsHedgehog]

My 4 month old baby takes naps in the stroller in the day time. We walk him a round the garden a bit to get him to sleep then wheel him into the porch. To fall asleep he likes to sit up a lot so he can see, he’ll not fall asleep if he’s lying flat so I just wait until he’s asleep then recline him so he’s flat. I’ve told my husband many times that he needs to be lying flat to sleep but he keeps forgetting. Today I went to check on him when he was sleeping and found him sitting almost completely upright with his head slouched forward. My heart stopped. Luckily he was fine, I reclined the seat and he went back to sleep. I can’t bear to think what might have happened though if I hadn’t checked on him. I am furious with my husband. Now I can’t trust him to look after our baby if I’m not there to double check. I’m still shaking now an hour later at the thought of what could have happened. What would you do?

 

[MKaykes]

I would have a serious chat about the risks. My DH was so nervous with SIDS, thankfully I think naturally, that I didn't have to reiterate safe sleep much. But, he wouldn't have known the "rules" unless I told him. Obviously it sounds like he knows he's supposed to recline the seat but likely forgot. Maybe give him time to think about what he would feel if something terrible had happened because of his error. If he brushes it off, I'd be concerned, but otherwise I'd give him the trust to be a parent.

We all make mistakes. A couple weeks ago I buckled my son up and then DH asked me for something. When we got to our destination, DH pointed out I didn't tighten the straps on the carseat! I forgot as I got distracted by DH and didn't finish the process of buckle and tighten.

 

[noon_child]

I think people are less likely to take responsibility when they are told what/how to do something. You don’t need him to be perfect but you need him to take responsibility for being an equal parent. Similar things my OH did still drive me mad to this day!

 

[Heather.1987]

I think it's pretty extreme to say you cant trust him or to be furious. Yes, back and flat is best. But if you plan on using a stroller instead of an actual crib or bed for naps, you cant expect baby to always be safely laying down. Instead of overreacting, maybe it's time to transition to a better place to sleep for naps.

 

[AmberPi]

Hello! I feel you. The best way is to talk seriously because you are not the only one who has to worry about the child. I made my husband take a whole course to make sure I didn't have to worry about leaving a child with my husband.