Can I come in? Silent miscarriage

[dan-o]

Went for my 4th scan this morning.
I should be approx 10 weeks along.

Just to recap my history, I went for a private scan first of all, they saw only an empty sac & diagnosed a blighted ovum.
I went to the EPU a few days later & they saw a small baby & yolk but no heartbeat yet.

I then went for a follow up scan a fortnight ago & saw the baby very clearly & it did have a heartbeat this time albeit a teeny bit slow.

Yet on todays scan, it measured about right for my dates & has grown quite a lot, but the baby is gone
I'm left feeling confused as to how this can happen.
I am also devastated, beyond comprehension.
I expected to see my baby again today one way or another, even if it was bad news.

The pregnancy is apparently too big for me to pass by the pill method without being very painful & as my hormones are still high/doubling/whatever it probably wont work anyway, so I have been booked for a D&C on friday.

I'm terrified, firstly as I keep thinking they could be wrong & my baby is fine (is that even possible?) and secondly of the general anasthetic/if anything goes wrong.

I'm also so angry at my body for not miscarrying naturally, I still feel 100% pregnant, as if nothing was wrong.

God my head is in a mashed mess, I have no idea what to expect, this was my first pregnancy. Help.

 

[dawny690]

So sorry once again, you can come in of course you can I just wish you didnt have to sweetie xx

 

[becky77]

i posted in your 1st tri thread . but again very sorry for your loss .

 

[rachjim98]

What a terrible ordeal so sorry, you have every right to be a mashed mess... Your more then welcome in, but am sure this is not the place you wanna be.

 

[Shelby2007]

Im so sorry for the stress that you are going through.. that is terrible.

 

[hopedance]

oh dan-o, i'm so sorry. this has been such a huge rollercoaster. my heart sank when i saw your post. are they going to scan you again on friday before they do it?

 

[dan-o]

No, but I can wait a week & request another scan, then have a d&C at the end of next week.
Do you think I should or am I prolonging the agony?

 

[hopedance]

i'm not sure sweetie. how thorough were they when they did the last scan? did they have a really good look? in a way, i think it may be prolonging the agony, as little bean has really had to fight, and so it doesn't seem out of the blue. it would be terrible though, if it were just an error of the scan, technology can't ever be 100%, but it is only such a tiny tiny chance of them being wrong. it's such a hard call though, and i think you have to do what you feel is right in your heart.

 

[dan-o]

She did look internally from a few angles

I was suprised after having having no symtoms of MC & still all my pg symptoms.

Especially considering my baby was very much alive & had a HB fortnight ago.

I guess my body went nuts?

See, this is what scares the most, what if they are wrong.
But then again am I just kidding myself?

 

[honey08]

hiya hun, so sry for wot ur going thro, i went thro the same with my first pregnancy i went for a scan when i started spotting at 11wk5days,they had to do an internal scan, and the baby was just 4mm but the sac was the size it wud b it i were 12wk, i had a dnc, it was fine considering
wish u all the best for the future hun x

 

[hopedance]

did they say that it is common for that to happen, if the baby dies, for it to just vanish like that? it just doesn't seem to make sense to me.

 

[golcarlilly]

If you have any doubts at all then you need to demand another scan hun or you will drive yourself mad wondering, I had (I think) a blighted ovum last year and I had a repeat scan before going ahead with the medical management just to make sure. This is such a hard thing to deal with, our bodies do very strange things sometimes.

thinking of you

 

[Shelby2007]

When I had my missed mc with my identicals.. I had one twin that measured 9 weeks.. and the other was a tiny ball that they said probably died a week or two earlier.. and the baby had already started to break down.. so maybe this is what happend.. Im unsure.

But like Golcarlilly says.. I would demand another scan.. because you will always have the "what if" in the back of your mind.

Im sorry you are going through this honey.

 

[toby2]

so sorry to hear this, i thik i agree with most people on the scan front, do whatever you feel most comfortable doing. i understand what you mean about being angry with your body with both my m/c the baby stopped growing at 8-9wks but everything else had carried on-they told me that is why i still felt preg as it is sac etc that make all hormones that make you feel preg,think its just one of those sad things

 

[Snowball]

I'm so sorry to hear this Dan-o

My sister saw her baby with a heartbeat at 6 weeks. At 8 weeks she started spotting so they scanned her and her baby had been absorbed back into her body. The sac was also mishapen where it had started to break down.

It's such a tough call. I wish you all the luck in the world and I'm just so sorry you are having to go through this

 

[Premomt]

Dan-o I understand the "what if"s that are going through your mind right now, but don't think your body is crazy. When i mc'd years ago the first time I saw the baby was at my 12 wk check up. I could make everything out, but the baby was not moving nor was there a heartbeat, so I must have gotten scanned right after it happened. Seeing the scan was the part that made the pregnancy real, and then them telling me I had MC'd and needed to have a DnC was horrible. I wish I had not gotten to see the bean.
I understand with the first scan not showing anything that you may want to get "a second look" and I have to agree with the other gals. Do what you feel is the right thing to do.
And if you need to vent, please do so. It has been so helpful for me and many of the other gals here.

 

[LeaArr]

I am so sorry you are going through this. I can't even imagine what it would be like. You have to do what you feel is right for you! If you need another reassurance scan, by all means, do it. By the sounds of things, I think you would regret it if you didn't.
I'm thinking of you

 

[JemmaD]

hey hun im so so sorry, what ever you do dont have the pills!!!!!! when i had them they never told me anything my sac was 11 weeks and they let me pass it i was taken in on the 14th and it was so bad the staff shit one with all the blood and they kept me in its been over a week and i was feeling really bad yesterday in work i started passing melon size clots again and bleeding so bad. x

 

[hopefulfor09]

Oh Dan-O honey, my heart totally sunk when I saw this thread. I don't think I have any words - I am so very sorry for your loss. I am thinking about you.

I definitely think you should ask for another scan on Friday before the DnC to put your mind at ease. I am sure they will do it once you explain what you've gone through....I am so deeply sorry.

Big hugs. xoxoxoxxo

 

[Rebaby]

I'm so sorry for your loss I'm afraid i can't really help re: the question of waiting and having another scan but i can understand how you must be feeling so confused and 'tricked' by your body right now, and if you think it would help you to deal with this better then by all means you should do that. It's just whatever is right for you.

Big to you