Can I join you ladies?

[KatO79]

Hi everyone on the LTTTC forum

I'm 35 and DH is 37 and we've been TTC #1 since end of September/start of October 2013. We've had no luck apart from the chemical during cycle #7 back in April (I'm on cycle #15 now). I have regular 26 day cycles with the pretty odd 27 day cycle here and there.

I've tried OPKs (know I O almost always CD13, otherwise CD14) and the CBFM but decided it was stressing me so we decided to take a break from those things. I used to take my BBT and saw the temp shift every month so I'm pretty sure I'm Oing.

We've tried pretty much every sort of BDing plan, Preseed, Conceive Plus (trying for the 2nd time this month) and Softcups. I'm currently taking a pregnancy vitamin (they don't have prenatals in this country) and Omega-3 plus take EPO from CD1 until I O. I've previously tried taking FertileCM pills (as I only get watery CM as my most fertile), grapefruit juice and raw garlic to try and get EWCM but nothing helped so I'm accepting the fact I can only make watery with sometimes small patches of EWCM mixed in.

We recently got our referral as you have to have been TTCing for at least 12 months in this country, no matter your age, to get one. Luckily the state pays for most of the fertility treatments so we'll be getting it pretty much for free. Our first meeting with our fertility clinic is November 5th. I got a blood hormone test done but only the clinic knows the results as they first want to tell us at the meeting. They'll be doing an ultrasound and giving me a referral to get an HSG done but since I'll have Oed November 1st, I won't be able to get that done until after AF shows up

So that's a bit about my journey Hope I've tried long enough to join you as I'm feeling a bit out of place on the TTC #1 forum since many seem to get their BFPs after 4 months and on the over 35 forum many have children already and aren't TTCing #1 like I am. The ladies have been very nice but I'd really like to have a place where others know where I'm coming from and I'm not constantly seeing many ladies announce there BFPs after 3-4 months of trying. When I start fertility treatments, I'll also be joining the assisted conception forum but maybe I'll be seeing some of you there as well?

 

[HCas]

Hi there

I'm kinda in the same boat. I've been ttc since Oct. 26th 2013. Both me and DH are 22 (young I know). We have tried everything under the sun including Forever Blessed casava supplements that are suppose to help conceive twins to soft cups to following the old wives tale "you never conceive in your own bed".

I have an infertility appointment on November 3rd. This will be my first real step and this direction and its kinda scary.

I hope you don't mind me joining you on here. I just felt a draw since we seem to be in the same time frame.

 

[bunyhuny]

Hi ladies. Just wanted to say welcome to you and let you know I'm so sorry you are also going through LTTTC. It's a rough journey for sure, so I hope both of you get answers very soon. Good luck at your first fertility appointments. Remember to write down the questions you have about infertility ahead of time- otherwise you will totally space when you get there and forget half of what you wanted to ask. At least, that's what happened to DH and me! I think it took us about three or four appointments before we finally got all our questions answered! Oh well, we tried! Oh! And don't be scared about you appointments. Most fertility doctors are really understanding of how nerve-wracking the first appointment is and they really take their time talking to you. I think our initial consult was an hour and a half long, and the nurse and doctor were very kind and supportive.

 

[jjbubbles28]

Hi ladies
Just started my "infertilty" journey. Wishing you all the best.Had a positive vaginal u/s/ No pcos. good ovaries and decent uterus. Have scheduled bloods for next week and sa before tday . View started fertilty testing thread...thats me

....

 

[KatO79]

Hi there

I'm kinda in the same boat. I've been ttc since Oct. 26th 2013. Both me and DH are 22 (young I know). We have tried everything under the sun including Forever Blessed casava supplements that are suppose to help conceive twins to soft cups to following the old wives tale "you never conceive in your own bed".

I have an infertility appointment on November 3rd. This will be my first real step and this direction and its kinda scary.

I hope you don't mind me joining you on here. I just felt a draw since we seem to be in the same time frame.

Wow yeah our time frames seem to be very close, right down to our 1st appointments being within 2 days of each other

I'm nervous about our 1st appointment as well, mostly what my hormone results will be and what the ultrasound will show

It really stinks to have tried pretty much everything you can try naturally and still no BFP

Oh I'm the last one who's going to mention your ages. I have a SIL who keeps telling me how young I am, like it means we couldn't possible have problems or that we have plenty of time I don't want to be 40 when I conceive, my limit has been pushed from 35 to now 36 when I give birth as my birthday is in May so no way I'd have reached my old deadline

Hi ladies. Just wanted to say welcome to you and let you know I'm so sorry you are also going through LTTTC. It's a rough journey for sure, so I hope both of you get answers very soon. Good luck at your first fertility appointments. Remember to write down the questions you have about infertility ahead of time- otherwise you will totally space when you get there and forget half of what you wanted to ask. At least, that's what happened to DH and me! I think it took us about three or four appointments before we finally got all our questions answered! Oh well, we tried! Oh! And don't be scared about you appointments. Most fertility doctors are really understanding of how nerve-wracking the first appointment is and they really take their time talking to you. I think our initial consult was an hour and a half long, and the nurse and doctor were very kind and supportive.

Thanks bunyhuny, greatd advice I'm just having trouble thinking of any questions at the moment, typical Think it's also hard to come up with much until I've heard my blood test results as I don't really seem to have any questions about IUI or IVF. I'll have to get DH on it as I think he might be better at coming up with questions than me. I always seem to first have them later on.

I think they wrote that the meeting will take 1 hour which doesn't seem like much time if they're also going to give me an ultrasound that day

It's so nice to have others to talk about it as I don't have many to talk to about it. My brother and his wife (live in the US) had issues as well but they were in their early 40s when they started (took them 5 years but now have a 6 year old daughter). But I don't have too much contact with them and they don't seem to get it as much since I'm "young" and they seem to think my age means there can't be much wrong No one in DHs family has any fertility issues as his big brother and soon to be ex-wife conceived with 3-4 months of trying for #1. Think #2 took about the same time as well. My MIL never had issues conceiving her 3 boys (DH is the middle child) so not much understanding there When we told them we got our referral, they didn't say much, just mentioned if it wasn't expensive to get assisted conception but I told them that since we've been trying for at least 12 months, that the referral means it's for free. Then they started talking about a TV show they saw about infertility recently. Guess they didn't know what to say as they don't know what it's like or know anyone that had fertility issues.

 

[HCas]

I understand that. Its nerve wracking. It makes it harder when family doesn't understand. My sister has been pregnant twice since I started ttc and is on her 3rd pregnancy (due in June) and she seems to think all I have to do to get pregnant is get drunk. And MIL got pregnant easily with all four of her babies, even when on two contraceptives XD

So when I try talking to them about it you can see it go right over their heads. My mom tries but she really doesn't get it either and has started to treat me like I'm fragile. She also resigned to not having grandbabies from me which just makes it disheartening to talk to her.

But hey we can help each other through! Since we are so close to one another we can understand even better ^^


Also thank you bunnyhuny

 

[KatO79]

I understand that. Its nerve wracking. It makes it harder when family doesn't understand. My sister has been pregnant twice since I started ttc and is on her 3rd pregnancy (due in June) and she seems to think all I have to do to get pregnant is get drunk. And MIL got pregnant easily with all four of her babies, even when on two contraceptives XD

So when I try talking to them about it you can see it go right over their heads. My mom tries but she really doesn't get it either and has started to treat me like I'm fragile. She also resigned to not having grandbabies from me which just makes it disheartening to talk to her.

But hey we can help each other through! Since we are so close to one another we can understand even better ^^


Also thank you bunnyhuny

Typical, people who have had almost no issues or maybe even no issues conceiving think that since it happened so (relatively) easy for them, it must be that way for everyone else Your sister probably thinks that getting drunk will help you relax since many think that just by relaxing, you automatically get pregnant

I forgot to mention my mom had 6 kids (with 6 different men and I'm the youngest she had at 41) and she has both been trying to get me to NOT have kids (since she's narcissistic and regrets having her children) plus been kinda unsympathetic to what I'm going through, rubbing my nose in how easy she had it every time

Not to mention some of DH's friends. One of them has a toddler and she asked me back in April (1 week before I experienced my chemical) while playing with him "Don't you want one of these?" I didn't know what to say so said nothing. I just don't feel like I know her well enough to start talking about our failure to conceive But we don't see his friends much since 90% of them have at least 1 kid (some of them even have 2) and I guess they feel like they don't have much in common with us because we're childless Only one of the couples know we've been trying and having issues.

Yeah let's stick together here

 

[HCas]

To be honest she thinks that way because that's how she got pregnant all three times all with different men. She just assumes alcohol is the key to fertility XD Good intents but she doesn't realize it doesn't work like that. I know more about pregnancy and getting pregnant than her.

I'm sorry about your mother too. And understand with the friends. A good amount of mine already have two or three and the ones who don't seem to think they can't talk to me while I TTC. Like once I have a baby it'll all be normal again but til then I'm untouchable. Its weird.

 

[KatO79]

To be honest she thinks that way because that's how she got pregnant all three times all with different men. She just assumes alcohol is the key to fertility XD Good intents but she doesn't realize it doesn't work like that. I know more about pregnancy and getting pregnant than her.

I'm sorry about your mother too. And understand with the friends. A good amount of mine already have two or three and the ones who don't seem to think they can't talk to me while I TTC. Like once I have a baby it'll all be normal again but til then I'm untouchable. Its weird.

Alcohol is the key to fertility because she was drunk every time? Just wow Yeah it's amazing how much you learn when you're TTCing, especially when you've been trying for a longer time. I'm going to be a bit of an expert after all this, just hoping I have a baby to show for it

Strange, I seem to have the opposite problem and it's the ones with kids that are keeping their distance My guess has been they don't feel like they have much in common with us anymore because they have kids and we don't plus that we don't have a child/children that their child/children can play with when we see each other. Don't understand why the friends who are childless don't want to talk to you while you're TTCing, that seems odd. Maybe you could try asking them why they're reacting that way?

My non-TTC friends don't seem to have a problem talking to me. Just the occasional inappropriate comment here and there. Like when I told my closest friend that we were going to go through assisted conception, her first comment was "Why don't you adopt?" She's adopted herself, but still, let me at least first try what I can to have my own biological child before considering that option I told her that I found her comment hurtful and she apologized, not realizing how that could be a hurtful comment to someone who's having problems conceiving.

 

[bunyhuny]

jjbubbles28- Hey hun. Welcome here and sorry you are going through this. Sounds like you had a good set of early testing. Has your SO been in for his SA yet?

KatO79- I know with my first appointment, they said we'd have an hour and a half meeting. When we got there, they discussed our situation with us for the full 1.5 hours and then did the ultrasound afterwards. I don't know if that's the case everywhere, but it's how mine went.

HCas- I feel you on the friends and family situation. There are no conception issues in my family tree or DH's. My mom's been married twice and BOTH times conceived on her honeymoon. It took her a looooong time to stop giving me bizarre advice. Even now, after over three years of TTC, she told me yesterday that if I "just think positive" maybe my pregnancy would turn around and get better. (Yup. She really said that.)

Anyway! I'm glad you're here on the LTTTC board. It's really good to be around other people who understand what you're going through.

 

[Want1Too]

Hi Ladies- I hope you don't mind me joining your conversation. First, welcome everyone and good luck on your journey! A little about myself - I live in the states and I have been TTC for over 2years with my husband. We have no children. About 5 months ago, I requested to be referred to RE. My first appointment was a consultation. Before I went to it they sent me a packet of medical papers to fill-out (35 pages,..no lie)
It took maybe 1.5hr without ultrasound or blood work. I talked about everything from my medical history to my husbands. I then sat with the doctor and she went over a game plan of what we would do next. My 2nd appointment is where I got blood work and ultrasound. Make a long story short, I have had a SONO, HSG, surgeries and now on hormone injections. If you have any questions and I feel I can help answer I will.

It is hard talking to family and friends who have not going through this type of journey. Everyone always says be patient or relax. Don't they think we have tried those options. I catch myself not being around as much friends with kids b/c they talk about their kids the whole time. My non kids friends are not TTC so some days I don't mind talking to them but other days I don't want to, b/c they don't understand it. This is a very sensitive subject and everyone just thinks you BD and it happens over night and that's NOT the case at all.

Well again ladies - thank you for letting me join your conversation and good luck!

Sending baby dust to all of you ladies!!

 

[HCas]

Sorry I didn't respond yesterday. Spent the first part of the day exercising the the last part breaking down over a song.

Its strange how people act around us. It seems they either don't know what to say or they say to much. Like we become a completely different person then before and they don't know us any more. Last night my best friend decided that instead of making sure I was alright when I told her I was crying she would bring up another friend's facebook icon that's literally a naked ass.

It's like she forgot that I'm still me and don't like talking about things like that. Wish we could make them realize we're the same people just a bit more stressed.

 

[KatO79]

HCas: How did your appointment go yesterday?

Want1Too: Wow, at least your friends with kids talk to you. Ours barely ever see us, maybe 1-2 a year, if that We haven't been invited to any of their kids' birthdays or anything. The only invite we've had to anything this year was from one of the very few who has no kids either as he's only fairly recently found a new girlfriend after his last long-term relationship went downhill and they broke up. Unfortunately, I think this is pretty common in Denmark as people with kids gradually abandon or drastically minimize seeing those friends who are childless as they feel there's a lack of common ground. I'm especially disappointed in the couple who knows we're trying but are having issues as I get on with the wife especially well No support at all from them it seems. I wouldn't be surprised that when we do get our baby, the calls will be pouring in and they'll suddenly want to see us more often. Since all these couples are mostly DH's friends, they'll be calling him and he'll be too nice to tell them to take their sudden invites and ... errr...well, you know I just feel like if they can't be supportive when we're having issues conceiving, then what kind of friends are they

Yeah I'm too well aware of the "relax-and-it-will-happen" mantra, my in-laws and my SIL in the US (plus my half-sister in the US to a certain degree) have used it numerous times Although they're starting to realize something may be up when I'm still not pregnant after a little over 1 year of trying.

AFM I'm looking forward to my appointment tomorrow so I get some answers, hopefully mostly positive ones. Don't know what I'll do if the RE has bad news for us

 

[HCas]

It went great. They did an sonogram and ordered some blood work. Once that comes in we'll either be inducing af or just waiting for her then I'm doing an HSG to make sure the IUD I had taken out last year year didn't scar me up and to make sure my tubes are open. If everything goes smoothly he said we should be starting some meds by middle of December. So glad we went. I actually feel extremely hopeful in the first time in months!

 

[KatO79]

It went great. They did an sonogram and ordered some blood work. Once that comes in we'll either be inducing af or just waiting for her then I'm doing an HSG to make sure the IUD I had taken out last year year didn't scar me up and to make sure my tubes are open. If everything goes smoothly he said we should be starting some meds by middle of December. So glad we went. I actually feel extremely hopeful in the first time in months!

Glad to hear it went well

Here's hoping you get great results on your blood work and HSG

Hope I get to start treatment about the same time as you, definitely doubt it'd be before as I'm missing the HSG and assume they won't start anything until I can get that done, otherwise I may have been able to start something next cycle already

 

[bunyhuny]

Hey ladies. :wave: I went in for a blood draw this morning. Should have results in a few hours. If all the pregnancy hormones are out of my system, I'll get to start on the meds for the FET. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Enough time has passed that it should be nice and low- if not I have to wait another cycle.

In other news, DH and I are moving back to Colorado at the end of the month, so if I cna't do the FET, at least I'll get to focus on backing if I can't do the transfer. We had moved out to NYC back in May because DH had gotten a job with a company who promised us IVF insurance. However, when we tried to go to the fertility clinic in August, we found out the company didn't give us the insurance they promised. Anyway, DH was able to get his work-from-home job back and they gave him a raise , so we're moving back into our RV and heading back west.

HCas- Sounds like your appt went really well. Were the people at the clinic nice and easy to talk to? I hope your HSG goes well, too. Mine was really quick and didn't hurt at all- just tickled a little. No cramps afterwards either and overall just a really easy procedure. I hope yours goes just as smoothly.

KatO79- I know how your feel. Our friends with children hardly talk to us anymore either. We've been completely open with people about what we're going through since we were told we'd need IVF so that everyone would stop asking when we were going to have a baby, so it is really hurtful that people have cut us out of their lives. I see most friends a couple times a year at most- no party invites, no shower invites, even the wedding invites have stopped in the last year. People just don't know how to relate, and I'm sure I am a very different person than I was before IF, so in some ways I don't blame them. Still, I've made great friend in the LTTTC forums, a couple of whom are now "real life" friends, so I'm very thankful for that.

Want1Too- Geeeeez.... 35 pages? That's crazy! I don't think ours was more than 15-20, but it's been a while so I could be wrong. Your wrist must have been ready to give out by the end of it. How far along into IF treatments are you now? Do you have a diagnosis?

 

[Want1Too]

Kat079 - Its hard not to get frustrated when people act a certain way to you knowing what your going through. I think if the people know your situation and they still cant be sensitive and supportive than you don't need them around when the baby comes. My SIL is like that she sent me a text one night and was like "I am sorry your going through this"
first of all I don't need a pity party. Don't be sorry for me, our situation is different and we've accepted it. We never talk unless my MIL is in town and she forces me to go out to dinner. Any hoo.. You can always talk to me/us.

Hcas - I am glad to hear your sono went good. Fingers crossed that your hsg goes great as well. I have had them both done. The sono, I had no pain, however the hsg I did. I did take some OTC meds but didn't really help. Once both procedures were over, I did not have any pain or cramping. My sono ended up showing a polyp and I had to have surgery. Now while the Dr. was doing surgery she removed a min endo and a cyst. Good Luck with everything you will be fine love!

Bunyhuny - Lol, yes it felt like I was at settlement for purchase of my home all those darn papers.. but I got through them.
My diagnosis was pretty much polyp, cyst and min endo, which all were removed during surgery in Sept. Then I had to wait for my period to come back which it did. Then my husband and I decided to do injections with IUI. I just had 2 IUIs (Friday and Saturday) and I am in the 2ww. It was my first time having IUIs, a little scary but process was pretty painless. It only hurt a pitch when the catheter was insert (sorry TMI). So now I taken progesterone suppositories nightly until my 2wk appointment. Praying and hoping for
I will not take any home test or cheat to see if I am or not.

How are things going for you?

 

[bunyhuny]

Want1Too- Congrats on your IUI's! I'm keeping my FX'd for your BFP. I'm glad they went well! I only had pain with my first IUI- when they used a standard catheter first without really thinking about the 90 degree turn in my cervix. It wouldn't make the turn so they ended up stabbing me in the cervical wall a few times... grumble... That hurt like hell and ended up bleeding- but once they switched to the special catheter (either hart catheter or heart catheter- I'm not sure) it was a lot better and I never had any pain at any of the IUIs after that.

I totally agree on not taking an HPT. Betas are the way to go. HPT's are just so stressful and frustrating. With three of my four pregnancies, I couldn't ever get a BFP on one until I was up around 75 hCG, even on the 10 hCG tests. I totally panicked myself each time thinking I had a BFN because of those sticks, then my beta showed a BFP the same morning that was definitely higher that what the stick was supposed to be positive at. (Does that make sense?)

As for me: I went in today for an hCG draw to see if my chemical pregnancy was done resolving, but it was still at 16 (down from 51 last test, 67 the test before), so DH and I are going to have to wait to do the next frozen transfer. Doctor offered to plan it for the middle of December, but I'm just not going to ruin the holidays with the stress of a TWW, so I asked her to schedule it for January instead. It'll be nice to take a break. We have so much coming up with moving, then holidays, then our wedding anniversary on January 1- which a BFN would totally ruin, and a BFP would make way too stressful.

 

[Want1Too]

Thank you Bunyhuny!
Yeah I am not sure what kind of catheter was used but it only hurt a pinch when it passed through the cervix. Sorry to hear you had bleeding with you IUI. I did not have any things but some cramping pretty much all day. How many IUI did you do before deciding to do IVF? Where you monitored or take meds at all?

Yes, it makes sense and I don't wasn't to stress myself out with HPT. There is enough stuff to stress and worry about. I will wait for the doctor to give me the results from blood work.

Sorry to hear about your previous losses. But that's awesome your number is coming down. By the time Jan 2015 roll around your number will be even lower. You and your husband have a lot going on (moving, holidays & anniversary) that would cause me to stress out too, so I see why your wanting to take a break until Jan.

You just never know miracles due happen!

 

[MrsL4]

@Want1Too --- Hope you have some positive news from the IUI! I feel like our stories are similar but you are a few steps ahead of us. Thank you for sharing your story.

I agree on not taking any home tests......I have stepped away from that because #1 it won't change the outcome #2 it affects my emotions way too much. I've been doing pretty good in terms of not thinking about infertility all month....but once I start spotting, I hit a wall for a few days.
Gotta try to stay positive at least 90% of the month!