can i still go to school and work?

[brewskysmom]

I just found out that I am pregnant, I am 6 weeks along. I am scared, excited, nervous, worried....I have my first doctors appointment scheduled for next friday, I know he is a good doctor because my mom used to work for him about 10 years ago. The thing is though, I am 22 years old. I just transferred from a community college to a 4 year school and have about 2 years left. I want to have this baby, but I am scared. Will I be able to stay in school? The baby is due during my spring break. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and we have a very strong relationship. He is supposed to go back to school in January to get his masters degree. When I first told him I was pregnant he told me he wanted me to get an abortion. Now he says he is behind me no matter what I decide, he says if I decide to have the baby he will come around. I feel like we need to both have a joint decision in this, not just me. What if he resents me for my decision later? I also work full time and will be going to school full time at night. Do you think I am being naive by assuming we can still keep these plans. I know it will be hard but I think we are capable. My boyfriend thinks he won't be able to go back to school. I don't know what to do.

 

[Sarahkka]

You can have it all, sister!
You may have to get creative about how you're going to do it and yes, it may be harder with a child than without, but if you want to have a child and finish school, you and your partner can both do that.
Is it reasonable to think that you will be able to do this according to the plans you've outlined (working full-time and night classes)? It depends. Pregnancy affects every woman differently. If you have a straightforward pregnancy with no complications, you should be able to do it all, but you may be very tired. Growing a human being inside you is an extra job that may or may not fatigue you.
I don't know where you live, but I'll bet good money you're not the first student to have a baby during her academic career. Go to your student services and find out what kind of support you might be eligible for. Maybe you and your partner will qualify for some really cheap student housing, or some kind of family bursary.
I think gathering as much info as possible will help you make decisions.
If your student centre isn't helpful, try your campus women's centre, student health centre, etc.
I'm a big believer in the "where there's a will, there's a way" philosophy.
If you can't handle job, school, and pregnancy/parenthood, don't feel like you've failed. That superwoman thing is a myth. Taking a year off of school won't make that much difference in the big scheme of things. Particularly if it lets you maintain your sanity.
I highly doubt that your partner will resent you later if you decide to keep the baby. I don't know him, but most people tend to fall head over heels for their kids, even if they've had huge doubts about becoming parents.
On the other hand, if you weigh all your options and decide that you can't handle being a mum at this point in your life, that's also your decision to make. It's not an easy one, but for some people it's the right choice.
Good luck!

 

[nataliecn]

i start school this september... and i'm due march 27th... school doesn't end til like the 14th or 15th of april i believe... so i have two weeks or so where i have to try and get the school to either work with me for my exams... or i'm gonna have a baby in tow whether they like it or not!!
you can definitely figure everything out!!
my OH has a full time job, and he told me he'd take the parental leave if it would help me with my schooling... but I really wanna be with my baby. so i'm taking the summer off work, and then when sept 09 rolls around, baby will be with OH during the days, or sadly daycare...
it can be done. if you want this baby, have the baby, and you don't need to put school on hold, you just may have to work a little harder, but in the end it's completely worth it!

congrats!

 

[BeckyBoo]

There are lots of options. Maybe you could take to family members if they would watch the baby while you're at work (assuming your OH can watch it at night when you're at college).

Just watch you don't tire yourself out!!

 

[Blah11]

I don't think it's very realistic to be honest.

If you're going to work fulltime during the day, and go to school at night, when are you going to spend time with your baby?

 

[brownhairedmom]

Well, you're going to have to give a little there. Working full time and school full time is reasonable while you're pregnant (although you will find very difficult because your brain starts to go fuzzy!), but not so much after.

I'm going to school full time. I'm due Nov 21 and I'm starting a full course load in Sept. The semester isn't over until Dec 17th. In January I'm starting right back up again with a full course load.

Sometimes you just have to do things.