Can you help me figure out what's going on?

[madfatgirl]

Im new here. Like just signed up today. But this is where I end up when I google.

I have no idea what's going on and any advice, or likewise, is appreciated.

I'm usually 24 day cycle no matter what, like clock work. I use the "my days" app even though I know a week before it's coming based on symptoms. I don't temp or anything, I pretty much know what's going on based on how I feel, if that makes sense.

Anyways, on to the confusion! Cycle started on 5.18.14. It was normal-ish. Usually af is light day 1, heavy 2 and 3, light day 4, mostly gone by day 5. This cycle was light, heavy day 2, mostly gone day 3 but sex kept it spotty till about day 6.

So this cycle was supposed to start 6.11.14. Very full boobs, normal af pains. I mentioned to bf a week or so before that they were hurting so af would be here in about a week! Well 6.11 comes and goes. Slight "cramping" (quotes because very very un-af like cramps and not sure if cramps, gas or nausea pains?), also nauseous from time to time. Not running to bathroom but queasy feeling. No spotting or anything.

I feel like I should mention that I'm a habitual cervix checker. I feel for height, cm, openness, etc. Just because. I pretty much know how I'm supposed to feel any time of the month. Idk if that's bad or not.

Anyways, in the process of feeling myself up I noticed a teeny tiny drop of pinkish blood yesterday afternoon. I kept checking throughout the day and eventually I felt like I should plug it in case it came full force any time soon. Btw this is 4 days late. 6.15.14. This morning I checked tampon and very little brownish, pinkish, not even close to full (sorry tmi). A little while later, checked again and new one was covered on the outside but not soaked through, same colors as before.

My boobs aren't sore anymore, still slight cramping(not normal 2nd day doubled over cramps), still feeling a little queasy. We are not actively trying but not preventing either.

2nd and 3rd day late bfn, haven't tested since.

Why does a bfn make me sad even if I'm not ttc? What in the world is causing this is tests are neg? It's such a vicious cycle! Stress bc you're late then stress more and end up sad from bfn

Any similar experiences and what happened with you? Any late bfp stories? Should I wait and see what happens? Should I chalk it up to stress? Am I just crazy?

Any advice would be wonderful and any criticisms will be duely noted.

 

[ZubZub]

Hi! Welcome bnb! I don't have any answers - it's all rather complicated. Having said that, I have been, like you, regular as clockwork and the past 4 or 5 months have also had haywire cycles. Spotting before af, af heavy then disappearing to nothing but continuing to spot for days after (all within the usual 6 days of the period though). Sore boobs for about three months but now they're fine. Last month my cycle looked anovulatory - never had that before. I had my annual gyn checkup and he really wasn't concerned. Said hormones do that sometimes and as long as I'm not bleeding in between periods I wasn't to worry (I was afraid early menopause was on its way!). I have continued to temp chart to try and have a good picture of what is going on. I had EWCM two days ago but am still waiting the temp shift (although am only on CD12 and usually ov around CD14). I hope the fact that there is someone else with the same experience helps, even if you still don't know what's going on!! Btw, are you sure you're not ttc?! Not that I'm a psychologist, but habitual cervix checking, using the my days app and feeling sad at a bfn are not really signs of someone not hoping to fall pg (I'm the same - a closet ttc'er)!

 

[madfatgirl]

Well BF isn't "trying" and says "if it happens it happens" which is how we got our first 2!!! Mostly I check because I like to know what's going on down there! As for the sads over bfn, I tried to explain this to bf....


you feel symptoms and things and your heart opens up to love this new little sweetie possibly coming into your life almost instantly and then you see that ng sign and there's nothing in there to love, so you have this big spot opened up in your heart and nothing to fill it with even not actively trying it still gets your hopes up way too fast and it hurts when nothing comes of it.


I am in full blown af now but tested again this morning just to be sure...bfn. I was expecting it though. No biggie I am now fully aware of how much mother nature hates me and feels that I should suffer with psycho cycles. Maybe my body is practicing for menopause! That's depressing lol

 

[ZubZub]

Psycho cycles lol! I hear you! I'm mad that we were cursed with the desire for children like it's a hole that needs filling (and we absolutely have no say over this feeling) and then we need males to fill that hole yet they weren't given any of the same need we feel. I'm thinking about babies all day while it never occurs to DH. And we can talk about it and it sounds like he absolutely gets it. I think we've made headway but it's already gone out of his head to make space for sport, work... Makes me crazy frustrated.

Don't worry about menopause. It's not on the agenda for either of us just yet (be positive, be positive). Hopefully things will start to normalise starting this cycle!!