Can't control myself.

[LilFlower08]

I just recently had a Mc and have been abit shakey ever since but have just started to get strong again... but i cant control my emotions anymore.
Like take this morning, i got up fine got ready for work, drank my tea, and was just about to leave when i felt all down and sad, then burst into tears and couldn't go anywhere for another hour?

It happens alot, i just am doing something normal and then completely out of the blue i burst into tears, or start a row with someone.... i don't know what is happening and i cant control my feelings.

Do you think im going insane? Im worried something is wrong?

 

[catfromaus]

I know exactly how you feel. For me, this is all a bit raw. I started bleeding 3 weeks ago. I kept getting told the baby was fine. I had ultrasounds, and heard my baby's heartbeat. Last week, I was told to stay in bed, that I had a haemorrage in the uterus, but the baby wasn't in danger. I then went to have a follow up ultrasound 2 days ago, and there was no heartbeat. Today I had the d/c. I wanted this baby a lot, and had been trying for a while.

People keep telling me that I can easily try again, I'm only young, and that just sets the emotions off again. I can only keep control of myself when I'm alone at the moment.

I don't know how long it is going to take before I feel normal again. Nobody seems to understand how I'm feeling. I'm pretty sure it is okay to not be able to control your emotions. You lost something precious.

You are in my thoughts. Hope things start to look brighter soon
Cat
xxx

 

[Las78]

Hun, so sorry to hear you're feeling like this. You're not going crazy.

I too find myself acting very out of the ordinary since my m/c, I am in the angry stage and really struggling to get out of it, I have a go at people for no reason and am seemingly always moody.

They say that grief has many stages hun, some last for a short while others a lot longer and it comes out very differently from one person to another.

Have you perhaps considered counselling hun? It may just help.

Try not to beat yourself up for feeling the way you do, it is early days for you and I promise it gets a little easier as time goes on.

Take care and hope things start getting better for you really soon x

 

[LilFlower08]

Thanks, happened again last night, i just went all depressive on OH and we'd been havin a fine night... i just made the conversation turn sour. and i hate it because he's not to blame and yet i look at him as a release... he's never said anything about how he felt and i just get angry cos he doesnt show he cares... but i cant force it from him.

Maybe guys just deal with things differently?

Thanks ladies, i felt a real release for a moment reading your replies and finding out how actually, im not a nutter, im just hurting.
I think for me the hard parts are admitting to people that im hurting and that i cant pick myself up and carry on like i have done with things before... i dont want to look like im out of control and failing.
xx

 

[Caroline]

sorry for your loss hun.
Its a total emotional rollercoaster. 2 weeks after my m/c I had to leave work in floods of tears, I just couldn't stop crying. I think a lot of it was my hormone levels dropping.

I felt a lot better after that, but yesterday I felt really down againn, and spent a lot of time in tears.

try & talk to your OH more & try & get him talk more about how he feels.

Hope you start to feel more like yourself again soon. Take each day as it comes & take time out to pamper yourself & have plenty of quality time with your OH.

 

[bklove]

it can be crazy, but you are not crazy! What helped me during the harder times was talking on here, and just trying to do stuff to maintain my sanity. At times nothing matters and the tears will come, but its good to cry. Take care of yourself and be good to yourself!

 

[catfromaus]

two things that have really helped me have been writing about my feelings, and also doing things to remember her (we called her Aiden Lynne). We bought a statue, and put it in our garden. It made me feel good to be able to do something for her, iykwim.
Anyway, it isn't for everybody, and everybody grieves in different ways. No way is right for everybody.
Hope you're feeling okay.

Cat
xxx

 

[Las78]

Aw hun, I think a lot of men just find it hard to show their feelings. My OH admitted to me that he was really hurting and thought about our little boy all the time (by text though), I spoke to him about it when he got home as I didn't want to talk about our baby via text and he said that the pain was bad but no where near what I was going through having carried our baby and he just did not want to upset me after all I had and was going through. That made me feel so much better as I then knew he cared, understood his reasons and explained that I needed to talk about it even if it did upset me - it then became much easier to talk.

He recently said he thought about how far pregnant I would be now as well which I do all the time so I don't think they ever forget either.

This is a man who never shows his feelings hun, unless you literally drag them out of him, it is hard but you do need to talk hun x

 

[LilFlower08]

two things that have really helped me have been writing about my feelings, and also doing things to remember her (we called her Aiden Lynne). We bought a statue, and put it in our garden. It made me feel good to be able to do something for her, iykwim.
Anyway, it isn't for everybody, and everybody grieves in different ways. No way is right for everybody.
Hope you're feeling okay.

Cat
xxx

Hey everyone, i have a diary which i regularly and have always wrote in, and yes that expresses alot of what i think and how i feel, but my OH still wont say much he just stares at me when i start talking about things and then pauses and says i love you....? im left feeling like "i've just gone on and on talking really heartfelt about my feelings and you say 'i love you' like you haven't heard a thing!" i know he tries to say more cos i can see in his eyes he's trying to find the words, but i just don't think he has very good expression like i do. i can always talk about my feelings and find the words to say... i guess i struggle and find it wierd (even tho it isnt ) when others cant.

I just want to say thank you to all of you and helping me through this... you are so kind, helpful and understanding and it's so nice to just switch on the pc and no theres lots of you ready to help if i need it!!! xxxxx

 

[catfromaus]

I think you're brave to let him read it! So far, my journal has only been read by me. I love DH a lot, but he really doesn't get how I'm feeling at all. I figure that it he doesn't read it, I won't get hurt by his response...
Maybe I'll let him read it one day.
Just remember that he is hurting, no matter how he expresses it. I think its harder for them to say it. My DH has said he feels like hes going to upset me if he talks about her.

Cat
xxx