Twinkl3
DD - 2014 â¡ DS - 2018
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2011
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Thank you all for reading, I thought I would do some writing to get some emotions and worries off my chest.
I am not the most open person to people close to me and keep everything welled up, so my emotions have never really been shown after having the M/C back in March. I've cried - but on my own, generally in the shower or who the OH is out so he can't see me or my weakness - Sad I know.
This may confuse you but I am going to be writing this to my little Angel to express how I felt when they grew their wings and flew away (Hope you don't mind).
What a surprise it was when we found out you was making an appearance in mummy's tummy, we didnt expect you to be arriving so soon as I was told it would be difficult to find you and may take some attempts but there you was plain as day growing inside me, we found out on the 05/03/11 and calculated that you was conceived on 14/02/11 - Our very own cherub
Once we had you confirmed at the doctors I had never felt so protective over anything in my whole life. Any knocks and bumps I'd rub my tummy in secret to reasure you that you was going to be okay, I would talk to you when I was in the bath to let you know that we loved you very much - Despite you only being a few weeks old I thought it was important for me to tell you that you was loved so much.
Me and Daddy had even picked out your name and oggled at cute little outfits when shopping wondering what things we would wrap you up in. I invested in all Baby magazines as I was prepared to do everything right for you, I had stopped drinking, smoking and ate healthy so you got all the benifits from what I consumed. We nicknamed you our little "Squibo" as it was a better name than calling you an "it" all the time, every morning Daddy would kiss my tummy wishing you "Good Morning" and telling you how much he loved and couldnt wait to see you - You was going to be a great birthday present as you was due the day before his birthday (07-11-11).
Then my world crashed around me, my heart began to cry as I realised what was happening ... My little cherrub was gaining it's wings to fly away
Daddy was frightened, I have never seen him so concerned and he even tried to give you a stern talking to. I panicked but did not show how upset, emotional, frightened, scared and how much of a failure that I was to have let you down. As I arrived at the hospital and they tried to find your heartbeat it wasnt there, you had aleady flow away you was 8wks old.
Despite all this sadness and anger that builds up inside me when I think of you being taken away I also think about how happy you made me, how you have shown me hope and I want to thank you for giving me a chance to be your mummy. You will always be here in my heart and I will never forget you ... We are planning on Releasing a lantern for you on the day you was to be born and we will send and always send many angel kissed to you my sweet angel. I love you forever and always - May you look down on us
On the 06/05/11 I was given the all clear meaning you had left me for good
However I hope to meet you again, where mummy will be waiting with open arms for you. 
I know it may seem a bit silly writing like that but it helps
... Me and the OH are now TTC and I've never worried so much in my life, I am in two minds one: I worry that it will happen again but on the other hand I know that I could cope somewhat if it happened again.
How long did it take you ladies to conceive after a M/C?
** P.S - Realllly sorry for the long ramble lol **
I am not the most open person to people close to me and keep everything welled up, so my emotions have never really been shown after having the M/C back in March. I've cried - but on my own, generally in the shower or who the OH is out so he can't see me or my weakness - Sad I know.
This may confuse you but I am going to be writing this to my little Angel to express how I felt when they grew their wings and flew away (Hope you don't mind).
What a surprise it was when we found out you was making an appearance in mummy's tummy, we didnt expect you to be arriving so soon as I was told it would be difficult to find you and may take some attempts but there you was plain as day growing inside me, we found out on the 05/03/11 and calculated that you was conceived on 14/02/11 - Our very own cherub
Once we had you confirmed at the doctors I had never felt so protective over anything in my whole life. Any knocks and bumps I'd rub my tummy in secret to reasure you that you was going to be okay, I would talk to you when I was in the bath to let you know that we loved you very much - Despite you only being a few weeks old I thought it was important for me to tell you that you was loved so much.Me and Daddy had even picked out your name and oggled at cute little outfits when shopping wondering what things we would wrap you up in. I invested in all Baby magazines as I was prepared to do everything right for you, I had stopped drinking, smoking and ate healthy so you got all the benifits from what I consumed. We nicknamed you our little "Squibo" as it was a better name than calling you an "it" all the time, every morning Daddy would kiss my tummy wishing you "Good Morning" and telling you how much he loved and couldnt wait to see you - You was going to be a great birthday present as you was due the day before his birthday (07-11-11).
Then my world crashed around me, my heart began to cry as I realised what was happening ... My little cherrub was gaining it's wings to fly away
Daddy was frightened, I have never seen him so concerned and he even tried to give you a stern talking to. I panicked but did not show how upset, emotional, frightened, scared and how much of a failure that I was to have let you down. As I arrived at the hospital and they tried to find your heartbeat it wasnt there, you had aleady flow away you was 8wks old.
Despite all this sadness and anger that builds up inside me when I think of you being taken away I also think about how happy you made me, how you have shown me hope and I want to thank you for giving me a chance to be your mummy. You will always be here in my heart and I will never forget you ... We are planning on Releasing a lantern for you on the day you was to be born and we will send and always send many angel kissed to you my sweet angel. I love you forever and always - May you look down on us
On the 06/05/11 I was given the all clear meaning you had left me for good
However I hope to meet you again, where mummy will be waiting with open arms for you. I know it may seem a bit silly writing like that but it helps
... Me and the OH are now TTC and I've never worried so much in my life, I am in two minds one: I worry that it will happen again but on the other hand I know that I could cope somewhat if it happened again.How long did it take you ladies to conceive after a M/C?
** P.S - Realllly sorry for the long ramble lol **
