Can't handle this...how do you do it?!

[Marzipan_girl]

Hiya everyone

I'm a soon to be single mummy...sadly. I can't handle the situation at all. I'm 14 weeks pregnant now, and as soon as I told FOB at 5 weeks when I first found out, he dumped me and told me to have an abortion.
I couldn't do it, and so now i'm alone, 19 years old and pregnant. I feel so lonely. All I want is someone to look after me and hug me. But FOB wont gget back with me, even though he has now become undecided about being in the childs life when it's born. He didn't want to pay child support so I said if he will see his child then I wont persue it....I just want him in our lives.

I don't know what to do. I cry all the time. My friends have abandoned me and I now spend weekends alone feeling sad whilst they are all out partying. I can't party because i'm pregnant. Nobody wants to be with a pregnant girl. I just want the FOB or at least someone else...but neither will happen. I feel my life is over, even though I convinced myself at first that I can do this with the help of my supportive parents.

But I can't! I can't stop crying. I'm crying right now. No man wants me...i'm all alone and my baby's daddy doesn't even care

 

[Laura2919]

Well its a bit like my story. Me and OH had the twins and he was happy and then we had an argument 4 weeks ago over family and now its a big deal. We tried to work it out but we just argued! I dont mind being single as such but its the fact that he is allowed to do all he wishes with his life, go out, get drunk, do what he wants. He then texts to say I would like to have the girls while you go out on a girly night. All my mates have kids and he knows I cant just drop it all and go a lot like my friends too!!

Sometimes however hard the situation the better you are on your own! You will make a wonderful mummy and you dont need him in your life you want him in your life as you said yourself. One day you will find someone who truly wants to be with you and will treat you like a queen!

I'm here if you ever need to chat hun xx

 

[scottishgal89]

thats kind of like my story too...
fob went on about me getting an abortion right up until the birth. he broke up with me when i was 20weeks pregnant but he had been abusing me also.
even though he had been hurting me and stuff i was still really torn up (im not saying this is the same for you) but i eventually realised that i was only upset because i felt alone and not because i wanted him.
if hes treating you like this as hard it is to think this just now, you are better off.
he should be being supportive, not giving you extra stress!
you still have a while to go before lo is here and things could change in many ways before then.
but trust me you will be a fab mummy even if you are single
and all of us are always here if u have questions or need to chat or vent.
you can do this!! you just need to put you and your lo first

 

[Laura2919]

Its true! You can do this and some man will want you, you are just yet to find him! I have thought like you and its been 4 weeks so its still pretty raw for me but your gonna have a gorgeous little baby and all us single mummas are here for you!!! xx

 

[kirst1805]

aww hun,

feel free to PM me if you need a chat.

kirsty
xx

 

[suzanne108]

Your story is a lot like mine!

Found out I was pregnant at 5 weeks, FOB was desperate for me to have an abortion, he kinda came round for about a week then went back to not wanting the baby! So we split up when I was 14 weeks. I didn't think I could cope, I felt so alone and cried ALL the time. I used to be at work but constantly sat in the toilets crying!!

I did start to come round but I can't remember when...maybe when I was about 20 weeks, I started feeling movements, had my second scan, got the beginnings of a bump. I think thats when I realised I didn't need a man.

As you can see my little girl is now 3 months old and we couldn't be happier!!

You will get past this stage I PROMISE!!! It could even take until your baby is here before you feel better but you WILL get there xxx

 

[sweetlullaby]

I agree completly with what the other girls are saying you can do this. The first couple of months are hard on your own but soon you'll begin to feel a lot better and think that you can do this.

 

[Alexandra91]

I felt like that at first too now all i feel is anger and im waiting for that to come to feeling nothing! he doesnt deserve a part in yours or your babys life, you can do it on ur own! and u will be fantastic its him that will miss out in the long run xx

 

[carolyn_s]

Didnt want to read and run.... stay strong xx

 

[vermeil]

Hello!

It's tough right now because emotions are high - but I can garantee you'll find strength when you need it. All expecting mothers do. We're tough when it comes down to it You still have a few months to figure things out. Have you given any thought to adoption? You'd give infertile parents the gift of a lifetime, you'd know your LO is being well taken care of, and you can have visitation rights. If you decide to keep it, do some research in your areas, there are often many great local ressources we don't know about. Other young moms are a great help too, as I'm sure you've seen in this forum.

It's hard right now but things will get better, whichever path you take. *huuugs*

 

[littlekitten8]

Hun I just wanted to give you massive You WILL get through this. The first weeks and months are the hardest. I split with FOB in January. And went through all the feelings of being alone, and thinking nobody would ever want me cos of having a baby. Well last week I found out thats totally not true. I am now in a new relationship with an amazing guy who adores James and is just brilliant with him. You just have to give it time. Once that baby is here you won't care about FOB being around.

 

[Laura2919]

I'm sorry hun I didnt add about the friends bit.

If they were your real friends they would be there beside you! I have one good good friend who has told me that I should text her even at 3am if i need to and she will talk to me. She lives 45 mins away and she came down to see me when I was feeling a wreck.

Do you not even have one friend. How about looking at some groups near you for pregnancy and single parents.. You will find new friends you just have to want to xx