Hi
I'm 22 weeks pregnant and it took over 2 years to get pregnant, and despite a lot of hurdles up to now in the pregnancy, I'm finally feeling excited at the prospect of becoming a mum and the arrival of our much loved little man.
Lately I have been finding it really hard to relate to a lot of my old childless friends and workmates. I used to work in a very high pressured job in the City, working long hours, loads of stress, drinking etc (not the ideal environment in which to conceive), and many of my friends worked for the same company. A year ago, I moved to a great new job, with much less stress, fewer hours, and actually better pay. Since I have moved jobs I've been much happier, my life is more balanced, and I am finally pregnant. So I've moved on, but my old colleagues and friends haven't. They are still caught up in what I see as a very toxic and dangerous environment: work hard/play hard, and working themselves to the bone. So now, I am finding it really hard to relate to them, especially when their lives are centred around work (they are all childless), and they just don't seem to get what is important in life. They can also be unreliable when making any plans - if I arrange to meet any of them, they can text 10 minutes before we are supposed to meet saying that they are stuck at work (this used to happen to me all the time and I probably lost a few friends as a result).
It is my birthday on the weekend, and one of these friends said she was unable to make it. She hasn't seen me since I've been pregnant (I'm on modified bedrest so not out and about much). I got a text from her today, expecting her to ask about my birthday, or how the baby was going, but she only texted to tell me she got a promotion, not asking how I was or anything. This is the same girl who a couple of years ago was telling me how much she hated her job and wanted to move.
Another close friend (who I think is quite jealous about the pregnancy as she has some issues and it could be hard for her to get pregnant) keeps sending me texts about how she is out drinking, where she is going on the next holiday, telling me that her and her OH don't want kids yet as 'we're not ready for sleepless nights', telling me how expensive it is to raise kids, telling me that once I have the baby 'your life won't be your own so you'd better make the most of it now'. Another friend (who doesn't work in the same place) was looking through my pregnancy book and said 'Oh my God, this baby is gonna rip you apart!'. Thanks for the support....
I guess I just don't feel I have much in common with a lot of them anymore. Our relationships were previously based on work, shared frustrations, going out and getting drunk etc, and that all seems so trivial now. Their lives seem trivial to me.
Of course, I miss some parts of my 'old' life, going out and socialising all the time, so I don't know if it's a bit of jealousy on my part. But I'm really excited to become a mum and about starting this new phase of my life.
I've met some lovely people in my new job, most of whom have kids so this is good. But it will take time to build up these new relationships, and at the moment I feel a bit alone and like I haven't got many close friends I can relate to.
Has anyone else had similar experiences?
Elodie
I'm 22 weeks pregnant and it took over 2 years to get pregnant, and despite a lot of hurdles up to now in the pregnancy, I'm finally feeling excited at the prospect of becoming a mum and the arrival of our much loved little man.
Lately I have been finding it really hard to relate to a lot of my old childless friends and workmates. I used to work in a very high pressured job in the City, working long hours, loads of stress, drinking etc (not the ideal environment in which to conceive), and many of my friends worked for the same company. A year ago, I moved to a great new job, with much less stress, fewer hours, and actually better pay. Since I have moved jobs I've been much happier, my life is more balanced, and I am finally pregnant. So I've moved on, but my old colleagues and friends haven't. They are still caught up in what I see as a very toxic and dangerous environment: work hard/play hard, and working themselves to the bone. So now, I am finding it really hard to relate to them, especially when their lives are centred around work (they are all childless), and they just don't seem to get what is important in life. They can also be unreliable when making any plans - if I arrange to meet any of them, they can text 10 minutes before we are supposed to meet saying that they are stuck at work (this used to happen to me all the time and I probably lost a few friends as a result).
It is my birthday on the weekend, and one of these friends said she was unable to make it. She hasn't seen me since I've been pregnant (I'm on modified bedrest so not out and about much). I got a text from her today, expecting her to ask about my birthday, or how the baby was going, but she only texted to tell me she got a promotion, not asking how I was or anything. This is the same girl who a couple of years ago was telling me how much she hated her job and wanted to move.
Another close friend (who I think is quite jealous about the pregnancy as she has some issues and it could be hard for her to get pregnant) keeps sending me texts about how she is out drinking, where she is going on the next holiday, telling me that her and her OH don't want kids yet as 'we're not ready for sleepless nights', telling me how expensive it is to raise kids, telling me that once I have the baby 'your life won't be your own so you'd better make the most of it now'. Another friend (who doesn't work in the same place) was looking through my pregnancy book and said 'Oh my God, this baby is gonna rip you apart!'. Thanks for the support....
I guess I just don't feel I have much in common with a lot of them anymore. Our relationships were previously based on work, shared frustrations, going out and getting drunk etc, and that all seems so trivial now. Their lives seem trivial to me.
Of course, I miss some parts of my 'old' life, going out and socialising all the time, so I don't know if it's a bit of jealousy on my part. But I'm really excited to become a mum and about starting this new phase of my life.
I've met some lovely people in my new job, most of whom have kids so this is good. But it will take time to build up these new relationships, and at the moment I feel a bit alone and like I haven't got many close friends I can relate to.
Has anyone else had similar experiences?
Elodie
